Indian men and Inter-racial dating

A post titled, Indian guys, white girls, and more..., prompted me to write this blog. In that blog, an Indian guy who has "no trouble dating women (of any ethnicity)" gives us a 10-point advice on making ourselves more date-worthy. He also seems to imply that the lack of these 10 qualities is the reason why we don't see a lot of white women dating Indian men. It's too much of a bait for me to resist. And for the record, I have dated a few white women myself.

The points listed in the above blog are generic good pointers for life, not only for just dating. And they will certainly help in the dating arena.

However, it is wrong to think that the lack of these qualities is the reason why we see less white women with Indian men. And having these qualities won't guarantee you a white woman either. It doesn't take a genius to realize that there are enough non-Indian losers in the US who don't have most of these qualities and still score white chicks.

In my opinion, the main reasons why there are not enough white/black/hispanic chicks hooking up with Indian guys are three:

1. Racial differences: This is the primary reason. Most women have very specific race (and also height, weight, looks) preferences when it comes to dating. This is especially true of the Western women. If you belong to the race which the woman prefers, you have no problem. However, if you belong to a different race, it is not easy to cross this race preference barrier, unless you are an exceptionally attractive specimen of your race (and being rich helps too). The average man - Indian/white/black - is not such an exceptional specimen.



2. Cultural differences: Even if a person is not very specific about ethnicity or race, there are still cultural differences to surmount. The cultural differences between an average American and an Indian raised in India are just enormous. Put the average white girl and the average desi guy in a room, and watch them talk. Chances are, everything about them is different - their language, their ideas and beliefs, their interests, their preferences, everything. They might have an interesting conversation because of these very differences, they might even be able to have a short fling, but anything steady or longer term is very very difficult. It takes enormous maturity, flexibility and intelligence on the part of both people to be able to carry off anything steady or long term. The average person - white chick or Indian guy - does not possess this enormous maturity, flexibility and cultural intelligence. And nobody blame the Indian guy if he is not in tune with the latest Western fashion trends or music! Why should he be? If he likes lounging around in a lungi, watching Kal Ho Na Ho, that is his culture and his preference.



3. Personality: I am talking of the personality of the average Indian guy in the US. What is his profile? Middle class Indian background, middle class values. Probably above average in studies. Probably below average when it comes to chatting up the girls, even in India. He is pretty stable and responsible, but he is not a playa by any definition of that word. How can he come to the US and play the field successfully? Especially when racial and cultural differences are aligned against him? It is too much to expect. On the other hand, I know a few players from my college days in Bangalore who could come to the US, not follow most of the 10-point advice listed in this blog and score more white chicks than even the average white boy. Scoring chicks is an in-born talent for them. It is in their personality. Fortunately or unfortunately, most such Indian players don't score good grades and end up in jobs which don't bring them to the US. I am not suggesting that you need to be a player to date foreign women. But you do need some skills to surmount the racial and cultural obstacles in the romantic arena. I don't think such skills are available in plenty among the typical Indian tech workers in the US.

Bottomline, most Indian guys in the US are just not made for inter-racial dating. I am sorry guys. I know it sucks to hear this. I know it sucks double when you go to a store or restaurant or tourist spot and see white guys or even retarded-looking hispanic guys accompanied by hot-ass chicks acting like kittens begging for their petting. I know it sucks triple when the most female social contact you have is either small talk with your colleague's wife or that average/ugly single Indian girl at work who usually has half a dozen Indian guys surrounding her and who shows nakhras like she is the Queen of Sheba.

That is the price Indian guys have to pay. It is the price for earning big bucks in a foreign land. It is the price for being born in a culture where dating is still not the primary method of picking your partner, a culture in which girls act as if talking to or going out with a guy who does not look like prime husband material at first glance, is the equivalent of losing their virginity to a stranger on the street. So, just grin and bear, jerk off to porn/fantasies of white women, get married to a nice sensible Indian girl, have smart kids and continue the glorious traditions of our glorious culture.

For the other Indian guys who are aware of all this and still want to score white women, I wish the very best of luck. I am a great advocate of inter-racial dating and mutual sharing of stories, dreams, food and various bodily fluids as the best way of experiencing other cultures and expanding one's horizons. And please guys, try your best to make it an experience she will remember with pleasure. We have got a reputation to build and maintain!

Here's a related post specifically for non-Indian women who are interested in Indian men: Dating Indian Men I