The Pendant, The Chain & The Giftbox

(Click for bigger pics!)

The Pendant, The Chain & The Giftbox.
Considering these for Valentine's 2005!

The website says:

Surprise her with the lush, red color of rubies. An exquisite 3-stone ruby past, present and future pendant is set in glowing yellow gold with a shining diamond accent. Rubies have long represented love and passion and they are the birthstone for July. This pendant makes a wonderful, romantic gift.

Every piece of Wal-Mart jewelry passes rigorous inspection at our Quality Assurance labs. So you can buy with confidence — guaranteed.

Product Information:

Total Carat Weight: 1/10 carat T.W.*
Shape : Round and heart
Number of Diamonds: 2 round diamond accents
Number of Gems: 4mm, 5mm, 6mm heart lab ruby
Diamond Color & Clarity : I/I3
Metal Type : 10kt yellow gold
Setting: Prong
Chain Length : 20 inches
Chain: Rope
Clasp: Spring ring

Price: $42.74

Is that a good price for this gift? Can someone tell me?

I have bought jewellery on the Internet before and a few days later, found the same stuff on some other website for close to 50% lesser price! I certainly don't mind spending, but I do not like paying more than fair price.

So, still thinking, still considering...

Update on Feb 19th 2005:
It seems I waited a couple of days too long after posting this blog. Two days after I posted this blog, the item went out of stock! I have been checking daily ever since. It is still out of stock! :(

Sex quote of the day!

Wow! I was reading some random blog and came across this line:

I'm" at the farthest point right now from whatever the next time I'm going to have sex is but I'm just good for now.

Is celibacy really possible?

I have tried to be celibate, and here's my conclusion:
It is very difficult for a normal healthy active male to be celibate. He would be celibate only under the following conditions:

1. No opportunities for him to slip.

2. All his senses are protected from sexual stimuli. In our current society, this condition is almost impossible to achieve for a person living a normal life.

It must be easier for girls to be celibate than for guys. At least they behave as if it is.

Disclaimer: There are exceptions to all of the above.

Sentiments: I feel sad for people who are deprived of loving intimacy. It is one of our fundamental needs - like food, water, air, clothing, shelter. No one should be deprived of it.

Married 30+ women and the Bimbo Quotient!

There are exceptions to what I say below. So, ladies, please don't take this personally.

The trend is obvious: married and/or 30+ women are smarter, more sensible, more mature, form better opinions about issues, articulate those opinions better, resolve issues better (read: their responses/actions normally don't escalate an argument or problem), even flirt better, when compared with unmarried and/or 20's girls. I have no doubts that they also make better partners and lovers than the 20's girls.

What happens to women when they reach 30 and/or get married? Do you ladies have a secret initiation ceremony where some esoteric mantra is chanted into her ear and some synapses in the brain kick into action? Or is it, the result of living with, loving and making love to a man? I rather think it must be the latter.

Whatever it is, please do something to reduce the BQ* levels in your younger sisters! Pass on some advice, teach them some lessons, give them the secret mantra! Their BQ is more exasperating than entertaining, and it has a bad effect on the morale of single guys who hope to marry them someday!

*BQ - Bimbo Quotient. I coined a new phrase!

"why did God make these guys like this......"

Some poor girl's frustrated post on a message board:

Hi friends,
Juz wanted to share....one thing that i have realized in my life till now....All the guys are the same....they want the same thing.....SEX...watever the thing or relationship starts with...they come to there asliyat......have seen and experienced a lot......
Really sometimes wonder....why did God make these guys like this......

Wat do u guys say???

What I say: Good question. If God did not want guys to be "like this", he would not have made us "like this", right? Since he made us "like this", it clearly indicates God wants us to be "like this". If that is God's will, should not every woman follow it and give in to guys' desires? Why are you complaining or resisting?

"SO DO INDIAN MEN DESERVE NO LOVE ??? or DATES???"

Update on 26-July-2005: The post linked in the first line below and again towards the end of this blog, is no longer available on Craigslist. However, the person who posted it has started a blog: Your Guide to Dating An Indian. I find that blog to be below par and immature. However, I am providing the link here for documentation (huh?!) purposes. My original blog follows below.

Was referred to the following post on Craigslist: SO DO INDIAN MEN DESERVE NO LOVE ??? or DATES???

Here's the main excerpt from the above post:

[START QUOTE]

I can tell you the reason why most girls, desi or non don't like to go for Indians. I have heard more than 100 stories in the last few years from every woman I know who has dated or tried a relationship with a desi guy.

1. There is always that, let's have a relationship now and I love you and I want to marry you but I won't tell anyone of my friends or family that you even exist. You are just a friend and then one fine day, make a trip to India to "visit" family and the guy either comes back married or engaged and his answer is "sorry but they forced me and now I can't do anything." Some get even worse and then say, I always told you my parents would never approve of anyone that I found and other b.s. things like that. My point is, desi guys tend to want to lie and are dishonest about long term futures even when things are going well and they don't have the balls to stand up for someone even if they love them. <<<-------- This is the BIGGEST reason why I know most women wont even look at a desi as a serious relationship matter.. What good is it if he can't be a man?
2. They are too cheap. I have actually had a desi guy ask me to split a bill at Taco Bell.. I mean, hey I don't mind going dutch but ocassionally it would be nice to see a guy actually making things a little romantic than finding the cheapest way to a date.
3. They are NOT romantic. They have no concept of how to treat a woman period. They don't know about bringing flowers on special occassions or sometimes, just cuz. They don't know how to show their emotions and care for someone. Their idea of a date is sitting at home or at Naz, watching a Desi movie over a dinner at an indian restaurant. They have no concept of doing something to please a woman and let's face it.. desi or not, women love romance.
4. They still live in the world of "I want to have fun with a gf right now" but when it comes to marriage, I want my wife to a be "pure virgin." They want to go around screwing people by lying and deception and that's why they go back home to get their so called "virgins" to marry. Another wards, they are hypocrits!! You can't build a long term relationship with someone who is a hypocrit, lies, and builds a relationship based on deception.
5. Ugliness, Hygine, and manners - Not every desi guy is a tall, dark and handsom. My friend dated a guy who admitted to her that even today, he doesn't like taking a shower and usually goes 3-5 days without a shower, using the D.O. Some of them lack complete manners. They are loud when you talk to them.. they talk at you and no with you.. sometimes they make funny sounds which are perfectly acceptible in India but not here... And, people, what's with that thick bushy mustache? This is a very indian thing.. Most guys in India like to keep a mustache because it represents manliness.. but what good is your mustache if you can't stand up for your own self, make your own decision, and despite being 20 or 30 or 40, have to follow your mom and dad's rules? Mustache doesn't make you a man.. and WOMEN Don't like it!!!! Get rid of it!!!
6. If you ever go to indian "matrimonial" sites, they look for "slim, fair, can cook, clean, working or prefer to stay home, can take care of my parents and children type" and when these desi guys try to date, they also look for the same. Dating is not the same as arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are like a business deal and dating is when you actually get to know a person and see if there can be a future. Be open minded and ask for something that you deserve. I have seen too many ugly guys wanting the Julia Roberts equiv. from indian girls and it's just not realistic. I mean, most desis can make a decision to marry someone by meeting them for an hour yet, when it comes to dating, you seem to have too many demands that you yourself cannot adhere to.

I don't mean to generalize but most women will give you a reason or reasons between the above mentioned ones as to their experiences with a desi guy. Since there aren't that many desis to go around, once a woman has one or two experience like this, they stay away from desis in general.. Hence, anyone who may not even fit in to this catagory will suffer because of your fellow desi men who have used and abused these above mentioned criterias too much.

So, all of you desi men.. scratch that.. BOYS out there no matter the age.. Get with the program here.. Be sincere, honest, and pick which side of the culture fense you want to play in. You can't switch cultural sides when only it's fun to you and need someone for timepass.

If you are seriously looking for a relationship that can be fun and turn into something meaningful, do the following:

1. Clean Hygine.
2. Don't hide your dating someone to anyone, be it your family or friends. No one is asking you to intoduce them on your first date but when you have moved to base 2 or further, it's time to stop hiding. Hiding shows you have no good intensions.
3. Learn how to treat a woman and how to be romantic. There are plenty of free sites on the web that can give you some lessons on how to woo a woman or simply date
4. Be respectful and leave the hypocracies behind. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

If you can just follow those four rules, your chances of being noticed and accepted by a woman are higher. Good luck.

[END QUOTE]

My comments:

Unfortunately, she is right. I agree with most of the post, except for the bit about having a moustache. That has more to do with personal/cultural style preference and less to do with a show of manliness. Take that from me on faith. I know.

My theory is that most Indians - men AND women - don't know how to be good lovers. It's nothing new. We can draw a similar list for desi women. Centuries of getting married and getting a spouse for life, without putting in any hardwork to deserve and keep that love, has done that to them.

In almost every personal encounter with a woman - desi or otherwise - I try to make it nice and pleasant for her. But how much hardwork can a few us do to change the perceptions, when the majority of desi men and women are out spoiling it for us?

So, how to be a good lover? Just do what the girl in the above Craigslist post says: be brave, don't put on a false front, be a romantic, be clean, simple stuff like that. Is it too much to ask of a man? If you want a no strings attached some-some, just be honest about it from the beginning.

I agree that there are complaints about other ethnicities also. But there is something to be said about the percentage of people who cause such complaints within a particular ethnicity. There is also the perception angle. Whether it is factually true or not, perceptions stick to you stronger than super glue. And ethnic perceptions are the strongest. Desi women complain about us, videsi women complain about us. We - desi men - have a responsibility towards our brothers and sons to change that perception among women of the world. Seriously.

Just hard work is not enough. Smart work is needed too. Remember, it's all about perception. This post on Craigslist has done a LOT of damage to the perception, man. I can only hope that post was not on the Best of Craigslist. That fricking page is read by people ALL OVER the country!

Wear It, Bitch

I was referred to an article recently:

Wear It, Bitch

By Annalee Newitz, AlterNet. Posted January 12, 2005.

This is about a woman who got fired at Harrah's, sued them and she lost the case. Which is why the article is titled, "Wear it, b1tch", meaning that is the real message of the judges.

I liked this line: Now that the most liberal circuit court in the land has paved the way, I can just imagine the proposed federal legislation: no woman shall appear in public without covering her face.

I mean, what is the difference between a US court forcing women to wear make-up and a mullah asking women to cover their face with veil?

Yet, there is another side to the question too: what is the difference between an employer requiring women to wear makeup and an employer enforcing a dress-code at the work place?

Yet another question: would Harrah's have fired this employee if she looked very good without makeup? So, the question was not really about makeup, the question was about measuring upto the kind of looks the employers expected employees to possess. Going by that logic, it's not an unusual thing. Models and actresses routinely lose assignments when the people who hire them decide they no longer look suitable to endorse the product or play the role.

Bottomline: if you chose the kind of job where looks is one of the criteria for employment, don't crib if you are fired for not looking good enough.

Friendly American Strangers

Americans are not comfortable with silences or with strangers. They need to fill the silence and pretend to be friendly. And the chat cannot be anything but inane nonsense because they are too sensitive and you never know what topic is taboo - innocent questions about family or current affairs could be dangerous. So the safest topics in order of preference end up being:

1. How are you?
2. Weather.
3. Day of week.
4. Sports.

As someone said, the conversation goes something like, "Hey buddy, how's it going? Cold outside, huh? Damn these Mondays. So how about thoe Knicks last night?"

"Is it my fault that I felt like kissing in the temple?"

Found this post on a message board:

I was at a religious seminar in a Hindu Temple here in North America. The lady who was sitting before me had almost 80% of her back exposed. She was wearing a low cut blouse. Her husband is a very orthodox person, recites vedas for hours every week.

I was distracted by the way this woman was dressed. In fact, I felt like kissing her back.

I think it was her mistake that she was dressed inappropriately like that. I could not concentrate on the seminar topic. Is it my fault that I felt like kissing her? She was dressed to seek attention. What else?

My response:

This seems to be a troll. Yet this is a question that so many of us face at different levels in life. So, let me answer.

All of us have voluntary muscles and organs (arms, legs, eyes) as well as involuntary muscles and organs (heart, stomach, ears, etc.). The action of the involuntary organs are not under our control. Our only responsibility towards the involuntary organs is to keep our system healthy for their healthy functioning. Voluntary organs are in our control. If these organs do something wrong, we are responsible and at fault.

To fall in love, to feel like kissing, to be sexually excited, to grow in size, to blush, etc. are often functions of the involuntary organs. No one is to be blamed for them. As a consequence of this involuntary reaction/stimulation, if your voluntary muscles do something that would cause harm to yourself and/or to others, you are certainly at fault.

I hope this helps.

Swami Libran Lover

Ancient Mythologies vs Modern Stories

Someone mentioned on a message board that they recently read the Amar Chitra Comics as an adult, and realized that the comics they loved so much as a kid seemed to be poorly written. Their dissatisfaction was more with the content, than with the style of narration. They felt that some of the contents of ancient mythology, such as children being born "without consummation", would be hard for young readers to understand.

I agree that they have a point. But the fact that they liked the comics as a kid indicates that they comics are successful in reaching out to their target audience: kids.

The thing about ancient mythology is that, they have all kinds of elements - good behavior and bad behavior, violence, sexuality, anger, jealousy, courage, kindness, etc. Yet, these myths are not targetted at people of any one gender or age group or social strata. Most ancient myths are for the enjoyment of all people, every individual in the culture to which the myth belongs. The beauty of these myths is that they speak to the people on various levels (various personal levels as well as various socio-economic levels), and they speak to individuals at exactly the level of understanding and growth the individual is on.

So, a child can enjoy the stories of Krishna without really having to know the details of Krishna's polyamorous activites, where as, a young adult can enjoy Krishna's stories inclusive of his amorous adventures and a very old person who may not be interested in romance and sexuality, can enjoy Krishna's stories at an entirely different level. That is the beauty of ancient mythology.

This is not true of modern stories. Which is why, it is difficult for us to show most modern movies or share most modern books with young children. Parents these days have to struggle and come up with ingenous explanations and interpretations for kids about the stories they are exposed to on television and in the movies. Parents have to give unconvincing explanations to growing kids about why their access to certain stories and materials should be restricted. Ancient myths did not have these hassles.

Most of us grew up reading Amar Chitra Katha books, most of us grew up being exposed to all kinds of stories which would be considered taboo for children today. Yet, we turned out alright. In fact, people who are not adequate exposed to all aspects of life in their growing years, tend to have problems as adults in adapting and adjusting to new situations. So, Amar Chitra Katha and other books based on ancient stories may not be as bad as they appear to our modern left-brain educated adult minds. Also, children are amazingly resilient, insightful and understanding.