Feb 16th, 2007
Returned from Chennai to Bangalore on this day with my sister by the Bangalore Express. Something interesting happened in the train.
The train seats were bench-like and very uncomfortable. It was not possible to lean back or stretch or feel free... especially with the elbow and knees of the passenger in the next seat touching me. So, I spent a lot of time standing at the door, looking out the running train. At some point, an old lady with a small kid occupied my seat. I did not have the heart to ask her to vacate my seat. So, when I felt tired of standing at the door, I occupied an empty seat, which was about 20 rows away from mine, beside someone who seemed like a high school boy. On the other side of this boy was a girl and they seemed to be extremely cozy together. I saw them touch each other, put hands on each others shoulders and at one point, I even saw the boy lean over and sleep on the girl's shoulder and lap. I was pretty surprised, thinking that young people these days were quite openly affectionate, indeed.
Most of the surrounding seats were occupied by kids who seemed to be from highschool or college. I guessed that they must all be from the same school or college, returning from some camp or sports tournament. I made smalltalk with the boy and he did confirm that they were from two different colleges and they were returning from a sports tournament. I was surprised to discover that the boy actually went to a degree (undergrad) college. Sometime later, one of their teachers who had been sitting a little bit away, got up and started talking to all the kids. When he saw me sitting among them, he asked the boy beside me who I was. The boy said that he did not know who I was. The teacher then turned to me and quite rudely asked me who I was and why I was sitting beside a girl. I was taken aback by his rudeness as well as by the fact that he claimed I was sitting beside a girl. I turned to look at the boy beside me and only then did I realize that the very young looking boy with short hair was actually a girl. I told him that I did not know it was a girl. Everybody around us started laughing. I felt awkward for embarrassing the girl. I apologized to her and vacated the seat.
Before I wind up the account of my visa-stamping trip, here's a break-down of the expenses. I like to record these expenses because I think it will be interesting to compare them with the prices years from now.
Visa stamping consulate fees – Rs. 4600 (supposed to be $100)
VFS (agency which facilitates the appointments) fees – Rs. 281
Hotel expenses for one night, including buffet dinner and breakfast – Rs. 3156
The hotel expenses included a whopping Rs. 60 for a 10-minute phone call from the hotel reception to Citibank because my new debit card would not work to pay my hotel bill. This was the only unpleasant part of my stay at this hotel. I had not expected them to charge me for that call, let alone such an exorbitant rate!
Autorickshaw charges:
Rickshaw drivers in Chennai still refuse to use meters. All of the following charges were unmetered and negotiated, including the charge in Bangalore.
Chennai Central Railway Stn to the hotel in Royapettah – Rs. 70
US Consulate to Hotel – Rs 30
Hotel in Royapettah to my sister's home in Jawaharnagar – Rs. 150
Sister's Home to Central Railway Stn – Rs. 80
Bangalore Central Railway Stn to my home in NandiniLayout – Rs. 60
Feb 17th, 2007
Late in the afternoon, I went with my friend Nagendra to give my sister's wedding invitation cards to few of my friend's homes.
I visited Veena's home for the first time in my life. She was my college classmate. I have known her since 1997, and only now I got to actually go to her house. But she did not invite me inside the house. She was on her way out with her uncle, and all of us sat in her front patio/verandah, where she served us coffee and talked to us. Nagendra was teasing her telling that she does not invite bachelor guys inside the house. She said, “Yeah”. I did not find that very amusing.
From there, we went to my friend KP's home. He got married since the last time I saw him. There was some puja going on at his house. I saw a couple of young girls hovering around the puja area, along with his parents and KP. I was wondering if one of them was his new wife, but they seemed too young to be so. After the puja, KP told us that the two girls were his sister's kids. I was shocked! I had seen them during my college days, when they were just tiny tots. They were so grown up now. KP's wife was upstairs and she came down to be introduced to us. She seemed quiet, nice and had a sweet smile. She seemed like a good match to him.
From there, we went to my friend Kumar's home. He is Veena's husband and he is in the UK right now. We met his parents and invited them to my sister's wedding. His mother is quite ill, recovering from major hip surgery (I think).
Our final stop for the night was Vikram's home. I was meeting him for the first time after his dad expired on Jan 29th. I felt very bad for him. There was an awkwardness, which I had never felt before with him. I did not know what to say or do. We just made some meaningless small talk. I was glad that I had Nagendra there with me to take away some of the awkwardness with his own conversations. I asked him to come to my sister's wedding, but he said he did not want to go anywhere for upto 3 months after his dad's death.
Feb 18th, 2007
I was supposed to meet the Aptech gang for dinner and movie today. After much calling around and trying to get things organized, it looked like most of them would not make it. As of this morning/afternoon, I thought at least Sidda, his wife, Deepak (his wife Geetanjali, was visiting Tirupati with her family, he said) and Nagendra would be there. But only Deepak turned up. He picked me up from my home in his Tata Indigo car. We went to Garuda Mall. We caught up on stuff on the way to the Mall. He surprised me by telling me about being jailed on his last birthday! I was shocked. He has always been upto some adventure or another all his life. So, this news should not have been very shocking, but being in jail still shocked me.
Apparently, on his birthday, his car had been parked in a no-parking zone, while he and his friends had tea at some restaurant. When they came out, they found a cop giving them a ticket. They took the ticket and made some flippant remark. It got the cop worked up. Words were exchanged. And finally the cop booked them falsely on charges of attempt to assault a policeman, and took them to jail for the day. The next day they were out on bail, and the case is still doing the rounds of the Indian court system. Deepak talked about how people were calling him up to wish him for his birthday, while he was sitting in the lockup. He had to lie to his family and some of the close friends telling that he was out partying with friends and could not come home for the night! Damn, that must have sucked. All this over just a small flippant remark!
Anyway, we went to the Garuda Mall and bought tickets for the movie Ekalavya. This would be my first visit to a multiplex in India. I did some clothes shopping as Shopper's Stop, as there was lot of time for the movie to start.
We did something stupid when we were shopping. We were told that if our purchases totalled upto Rs 2500, we would get 5% cash back. At first, I had bought stuff for only around Rs. 1500. So, I decided to buy one more item I liked. That brought our total just Rs. 3 short of Rs. 2500. So, we had to buy some other small item. The cheapest small item there was a set of 5 handkerchiefs for Rs. 100. I bought that. It was only later that I realized what a fool I had been. I was surprised that Deepak, who is usually very calculative, had also not been sharp enough this time. Perhaps, he was tired of just hanging around while I spent time picking up clothes for myself.
The 5% cash back from Rs. 2500, amounts to Rs 125. I had purchased handkerchiefs worth Rs. 100, just because I was Rs. 3 short of the eligibility for cash back. That effectively made my cash back amount just Rs. 25! It gets worse – I did not have to buy the handkerchiefs to make up for the shortage of Rs. 3 at all. The tax on my purchases was more than enough to get me comfortably over the Rs. 2500 mark. But it gets even worse than that – I just checked my bank statement from Feb, and discovered that Citibank has not given me cash back, like they were supposed to. Grrr! I am going to write to them now!
Feb 19th, 2007
I went to the Bangalore University campus with my father today, to get the transcripts of my B Sc course. My father had previously called up somebody in the University office, and they had asked him to send me to the University when I was in India, along with an application form I could get from my college. They told him that it was not a big deal to get the transcripts. I just had to get the form from my college and submit it at the University office, and I would get the transcripts. The way the guy had explained the process to my father, my father got the impression that it would all be done within a day! Great expectations from bureaucrats!
Our first stop was at my college office to get the application form. The idiots in my college office did not even know what a transcript is. They did not understand what I wanted, and they said they don't have any forms for transcripts. I explained to them what a transcript is. They said if I have a format for the transcript, I should bring it and show it to them, they would themselves prepare the transcript in that format and give it to me. My dad and I decided to go check at the University office.
We reached there at around 1 PM or so. We met the guy with whom my father had talked on the phone. We were told that we should first pay fees for the application form to apply for the transcripts and for the transcripts themselves, at the State Bank of Mysore branch on Avenue Road. Then, we should bring the receipt from the bank to the University office to show them that we had paid the application fees. They would then give us the application, which should be taken to my college for my Principal's signature. The duly signed and authorized form should then be submitted back at the University office, along with copies of my degree certificate and marks cards, envelopes for the transcripts, and the receipt from the bank showing that I had paid the fees for the transcripts.
We paid the fees at the bank, showed the receipt at the University office, got the application form and took it my college. The University has a common application form for all types of documents – to get duplicates of marks cards or certificates, corrections to them, re-grading of exam answer scripts, transcripts, etc. This application form is available in all the colleges under the purview of Bangalore University, including my college. The idiots in my college office did not know it was this form that we were asking for only because they did not know what the hell a transcript was. If only they had known that it was this form, we could have filled it out during our first visit to the college and submitted it at the University office, during our first visit there. Now, we had to visit both the places twice. After getting the principal's signature, my father and I came back home. I will have to take the application form to the University tomorrow, as it was already quite late. I also discovered that Mr Borgalli, the Physics lecturer from my college days was the Head of Department for Physics now, and he was also signing forms on behalf of the Principal.
Oh, for the record, I think the fees for each set of transcripts at Bangalore University is Rs. 150 or so. I forget the exact amount. The fee for the application form itself is Rs. 10.
Feb 20th, 2007
Met Vikram first thing in the morning, opposite Malleshwaram club, next to the Malleshwaram grounds. I was using my father's Kinetic Honda to ride around. He took me to the Bullet service shop behind Nataraja Talkies, where he had given my Bullet for servicing. My Bullet was in good running condition. It just needed a little bit of work here and there, battery recharging, brakes, lights and electricals, rear view mirrors and small stuff like that. The guy at the shop told me that it would be ready next day.
From there, I went to the University and submitted the application form for my transcripts. They told me that it would be available for me on Monday, Mar 5th. But I was leaving back for the US on Sunday, Mar 4th! They told me that I could go by and check the week before Mar 5th, to see if it was available. If I was lucky, I might get it. I cursed my luck for missing it by just 1-2 days. If only my college office guys had given me the application form the first time I visited them yesterday, I might have been able to submit the application at the University yesterday itself, and I would have gotten my transcripts on the Friday or Saturday before I left India on Sunday! Damn!
From the University, I went to meet my old and very good friend Brij at his office on Lavelle Road. He has been my friend from my days in Wipro. I think I met him in 1998 or 1999, when I still worked in Wipro's MG Road office. There was an instant friendship between us since then. Brij took me for lunch at the Woodlands Hotel. They have a very good South Indian lunch there. It is simple, homely fare. The dining room itself was quite small and very plain. I was quite surprised. Woodlands is supposed to be a big, 5-star hotel, and I had expected a far richer ambience and food. But I was not disappointed, though. The food was very good. Just the kind of homely South Indian food I love and yearn for.
After lunch, we walked back to Brij's office and spent some time chatting there. Then, I left his office, proceeding for my roommate's home in JP Nagar. I took the Bannerghatta Road to JP Nagar, and for the first time, rode across the IBM office on Bannerghatta road. I felt very touched and almost wept when I saw that office because it brought back memories of my girlfriend, Sh, talking to me from there. It was when she was working there that I ran into her online. It was from there that we had our many arguments and disagreements. It was there that she wept so many times, in so much pain. I felt like stopping my Kinetic Honda there and weeping myself. But I pushed on.
After spending a few minutes on the wrong road, I found my roommate's home. Her parents were expecting me. I spent a few minutes there talking to them. Then I picked up the stuff they wanted to send with me for my roommate and for our home use.
From there, I came home, dropping by my grandmother's house on the way.
Feb 21st, 2007
This morning, I went with my father to the Bullet service shop. On the way, we bought a helmet for myself, from a curbside seller near Vivekananda college. The traffic police in Bangalore have finally come round to strictly enforcing the helmet rule for all riders of two-wheelers. This is something they had been trying to do for a long, long time... almost from before I was born, I think. All previous attempts had been half-hearted, largely ignored by the public, before the cops gave up. But this time, it was being strictly enforced. In fact, I myself wore helmet for the first time in my life during this trip to India, when riding my father's Kinetic Honda. It was darned awkward and uncomfortable. The guy who sold us the helmet quoted a price of Rs. 480 for it. My father insist that we would pay only Rs. 300. I thought that was a difference from his quoted price. If I was alone, I think I would have paid Rs. 400. The guy asked for Rs. 400 and then Rs. 350. But my dad was quite adamant, to my surprise. He knew the going rate for helmets and the guy agreed to that rate without too much trouble.
Then, we got my Bullet. I felt so happy to be riding it, although I also felt a little awkward and shaky because I was riding it after at least two years. But it's amazing how quickly I got back the hang of riding it in that Bangalore traffic, which was heavier than ever. I took the Bullet home and had lunch. After lunch, I met my friend Nagendra and together, we went to the RTO office in Rajajinagar to get the fitness certificate for my 1984 bullet. We reached there at around 3 PM, and we were told that we had to come at 10 in the morning to even get the application form for the fitness certificate. I got the emission certificate for the Bullet from a private emission testing center opposite the RTO office. Then, I returned home via my grandmother's house.
My grandmother is not keeping too well. She seems to have grown so much weaker and older in just the past few years. The change is very swift and surprising. I can even see dark patches in her facial skin, which is a sure sign of very old age. I feel very sad.
I came home and chatted with my gf Sh over the Internet. It was not very pleasant. Something she said during the chat affected me very badly. I don't want to repeat what she said, but it was something she said might happen to her because of me. I literally felt my heart drop a couple of inches. I felt a constriction in my chest. I felt like I was getting a heart attack. I cried with much grief for what she had said, feeling so helpless and powerless and almost going crazy myself.
Feb 22nd, 2007
I went to the RTO early today morning with Nagendra. He had to get his license renewed. While he was getting that done, I was approached by a middleman, an agent, who said that he would get my Bullet's fitness certificate done and delivered to my door for Rs. 1000. I settled on Rs. 750, on the condition that he did not have to deliver it to my door. I would come to the RTO, submit the forms and collect it myself. The actual fees to get it legitimately is Rs 500. But from past experience at RTOs, I knew that getting it through the straight road would involve a lot of difficulties and effort, and did not guarantee results. I was in India on a short 3-week visit. I did not have time to spend a lot of time trying to get a fitness certificate for the pleasure of riding my Bullet and keeping it on the road for a long time. So, against my mind and heart, I agreed to go through the middle-man. When Nagendra heard about the amount I had settled for, he thought it was too much by at least Rs. 100.
The middle-man guided me on the process, the forms I needed to fill, what to fill in, etc. Otherwise, he was not of much help. I had to stand in all the lines to get the forms, submit them, etc. Nagendra told me that I did another mistake by giving the guy the money in advance. If I had not done so, the guy would have done all the legwork for us, he said. What the hell! Nagendra was standing right in front of me when I gave the guy the money. If Nagendra knew that I should not give it to him in advance, he should have stopped me right then. Anyway, it was too late now.
We got and filled up the form to get the fitness certificate. But before we could submit the form, I had to get my Bullet insured. Now, this was a tricky situation for us. The RTO won't give us fitness certificate without insurance. And the insurance company would not insure the Bullet without a fitness certificate, or so we were told.
Nagendra took me to an insurance company a couple of miles away, where he thought he knew somebody. We went into the insurance office, the officer there would not even look at the Bullet. He flat out refused to insure it because it was from 1984. I was disappointed. Nagendra asked around about the guy he was supposed to know in the office. Somebody told us that the guy had gone to a 'Xerox shop' close by and he should be back soon. We waited for him outside. He came soon enough, met us, told us that he could get it done. He went inside, came out with some forms for me to sign. About half an hour later, I had the insurance papers for my Bullet. Without anybody even taking a proper look at it! The insurance fees was Rs. 393. The guy who helped us refused to take money because he knew Nagendra. But I was so happy and relieved, I insisted that he take Rs. 100.
On the way back to RTO, Nagendra and I had lunch at the MTR restaurant near Bhashyam Circle in Rajajinagar. It was very good limited lunch for Rs. 40.
By the time we came back to the RTO with the insurance papers, it was too late to get my Bullet inspected for fitness certificate. Apparently, two-wheeler inspections happen at 11 AM in the morning, the middle-man told us. What the hell! Why didn't he tell us that before? I was so angry. But there was nothing to be done now. We would have to come back again tomorrow.
In the evening, I met A, whom I had first seen on the 14th. I did not really want to meet her. But having met her in person once before, I did not feel good brushing her off over the phone. I decided to meet her in person and tell her my feelings. I picked her up from the Gangenahalli bus stop. We went to Sankey Tank. I was really impressed by the clean-up work that was done in and around Sankey tank. It was pleasant and popular park-like place now for people to visit, walk and hang out. I spent much of the time quietly enjoying the lake, the trees, the birds, the birds' nests, etc. Later A would tell me that while I was enjoying the place, she was observing how I was enjoying the nature.
From Sankey Tank, we went to Shanti Sagar at Bhashyam Circle in Sadashivanagar. We had chaats and icecreams. The bill came up to Rs. 144. The service staff at the restaurant would not allow us to talk in peace. They kept pestering us to buy something. Very irritating. Nevertheless, I managed to tell her that I was in no position right now to start any new relationship, especially not a relationship like ours, which was kinda-sorta arranged. I told her that I was still emotionally tied up to my feelings for my gf. But she did not want to let things go abruptly like that. She did not try to force me or plead with me, to give her credit. She reasoned that may be if we got to know each other better and spent more time talking to her, my feelings might change. I told her that I did not think so, I did not see that happening any time soon, and I did not want her to wait indefinitely for me. Finally we agreed that she could wait for a month and a half, and if my opinion had not changed by then, she should move on.
News as of May 16th: As things turned out, I did not wait for a month and half. Pretty soon after I came to the US, I told A that her wait for futile. I came to know from my mother that her family was very disappointed with my decision. Even later, she told me that she was quite disappointed too. But it did not take long for her to find somebody else, who lives and works in Bangalore. She will be getting engaged to him soon. I hope she will have a nice and happy married life. She is a nice and pleasant person, might have probably made a good wife for me (I did not have any complaints about her as a person). But my heart was not into her. My heart is tied up elsewhere. As I mentioned in this post, I don't want to compromise on love.
Feb 23rd, 2007
Went to RTO in the morning, along with Nagendra. After waiting from 10 AM to almost 1 PM, the inspector who was to inspect the vehicles for fitness certification came up. He walked around my Bullet. Then we had to wait for another half an hour or more before he said my Bullet had cleared the inspection. I would be getting the Fitness Certificate at 3 PM tomorrow. I got the receipt from the RTO office. Then, we parked my Bullet at Kumar's house. Nagendra and I went to Bangalore Central to shop for clothes for myself, for my sister's wedding. On the way to Bangalore Central, we stopped at this new restaurant called Halli Mane in Malleshwaram. The place was jam-packed, totally crowded. It seemed to be very popular. The food was very good. There were signs all around which advertised the attention to cleanliness and hygiene at the restaurant. I had their limited plate meals for Rs. 12, plus a raagi mudde for Rs. 5. Both were awesome. The payasa made of gus-guse was the best of all!
I took 2 hours to choose two shirts, two pants, and a kurta-pyjama set at Bangalore Central. Nagendra got very impatient during that time. Later he would claim that I spent 4 hours to shop! It was pretty late in the evening by the time we finished. By that time, my parents had called Nagendra's cell phone 2-3 times.
Today, we had the nalungu ceremony for my sister S, who is getting married soon. This is the ceremony in which all the women of the family, and female relatives and friends, apply turmeric paste, sandal paste, flowers, rose water and other traditional cosmetics to the face, arms and legs of the bride.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Defeated in Love
Love has been a life-long quest. I have sought the true companion, the soul-mate since as far back as I can remember, even as a very small child. There has always been a need for the partner who is compatible in body, mind and spirit; with whom I share open, uninhibited and complete affection, attraction and bonding; with whom I would be totally happy and at complete peace, sharing every aspect of our lives with each other.
However, true companionship has always been elusive, despite the many nice people I met and shared a connection with. Now, at 30, I am a very tired and defeated man.
I like to sing, I love to sing, and there is always a song in my mind, heart or mouth. I have mostly sung solo. I have never met anyone who could truly sing duets with me. I have met many people who can sing well, who are trained in music, who love to sing just as I do; I have even met people who have wanted to sing with me; heck, I have even sung a duet or two with them. Yet, the one who can truly sing with me – the one who can match my voice, pitch, range and style, the one who knows, understands and can sing a similar repertoire of songs from different languages and time periods – has eluded me. Even the few people I have met, who can match my singing in most of the ways, are not able to sing with me for one reason or the other.
The story of my love life is no different. Despite the many fine people I have met, despite some of them liking me, despite a few of them even loving me, I have mostly been alone. I have not been able to find anybody to share all aspects of my life with.
What have I not done for love? I have lied, cheated, debased and dishonored myself, allowed myself to be cursed and insulted, lost my principles, my character, my sense of self-worth, my self-confidence, my innocence and idealism, my enthusiasm and zest for life, and lot more… all for the sake of love. I have never misrepresented myself – that is, shown myself to be somebody I am not, or exaggerated things about me – to win somebody’s love. However, I have lied and cheated to ‘protect’ the one I loved (and who I thought loved me) from getting hurt… or so I have told myself. Regardless of the motivations, reasons and excuses, lying and cheating causes incredible damage, it eats away the very fabric of life. I have always known that. Yet, I have risked even that for the sake of love.
What have I not done for love? So much time, effort and energy spent for it. So much suffering and heartache endured. I have not fully enjoyed some of the best years and moments of my life simply because my mind and heart were elsewhere, engaged (and usually hankering/suffering) in the throes of love, in the pursuit of someone with whom I wanted to sing my song at the time. It is a tremendous amount of effort and energy spent in this pursuit - so much that, I am surprised that I have been able to achieve anything else in life with the leftover energy. If I never loved, if I could have channeled all that mental, emotional, spiritual attention, energy and power into some other cause, I am certain that I would have achieved something world-class by now.
Anyway, having put in all that time and effort into love, despite the defeat, I don’t want to give up on it. I don’t want to compromise and just go through the shopping-cum-business-transaction of an arranged marriage. That won’t work for me. I want the crazy enthusiasm, blind trust, naïve openness, singing heart and total commitment of love. Only then will I marry. Until I have such a love, I’d rather stay defeated, than just ‘settle’ in life.
However, true companionship has always been elusive, despite the many nice people I met and shared a connection with. Now, at 30, I am a very tired and defeated man.
I like to sing, I love to sing, and there is always a song in my mind, heart or mouth. I have mostly sung solo. I have never met anyone who could truly sing duets with me. I have met many people who can sing well, who are trained in music, who love to sing just as I do; I have even met people who have wanted to sing with me; heck, I have even sung a duet or two with them. Yet, the one who can truly sing with me – the one who can match my voice, pitch, range and style, the one who knows, understands and can sing a similar repertoire of songs from different languages and time periods – has eluded me. Even the few people I have met, who can match my singing in most of the ways, are not able to sing with me for one reason or the other.
The story of my love life is no different. Despite the many fine people I have met, despite some of them liking me, despite a few of them even loving me, I have mostly been alone. I have not been able to find anybody to share all aspects of my life with.
What have I not done for love? I have lied, cheated, debased and dishonored myself, allowed myself to be cursed and insulted, lost my principles, my character, my sense of self-worth, my self-confidence, my innocence and idealism, my enthusiasm and zest for life, and lot more… all for the sake of love. I have never misrepresented myself – that is, shown myself to be somebody I am not, or exaggerated things about me – to win somebody’s love. However, I have lied and cheated to ‘protect’ the one I loved (and who I thought loved me) from getting hurt… or so I have told myself. Regardless of the motivations, reasons and excuses, lying and cheating causes incredible damage, it eats away the very fabric of life. I have always known that. Yet, I have risked even that for the sake of love.
What have I not done for love? So much time, effort and energy spent for it. So much suffering and heartache endured. I have not fully enjoyed some of the best years and moments of my life simply because my mind and heart were elsewhere, engaged (and usually hankering/suffering) in the throes of love, in the pursuit of someone with whom I wanted to sing my song at the time. It is a tremendous amount of effort and energy spent in this pursuit - so much that, I am surprised that I have been able to achieve anything else in life with the leftover energy. If I never loved, if I could have channeled all that mental, emotional, spiritual attention, energy and power into some other cause, I am certain that I would have achieved something world-class by now.
Anyway, having put in all that time and effort into love, despite the defeat, I don’t want to give up on it. I don’t want to compromise and just go through the shopping-cum-business-transaction of an arranged marriage. That won’t work for me. I want the crazy enthusiasm, blind trust, naïve openness, singing heart and total commitment of love. Only then will I marry. Until I have such a love, I’d rather stay defeated, than just ‘settle’ in life.
Chennai Notes – Feb 15th 2007 – Visa-stamping Interview & Sister’s Home
My visa-stamping interview at the US Consulate was at 9 AM. I arrived there at around 8:45 AM and was let inside at once. I was lucky to have my interview in the morning – when I came out of the Consulate after my interview at around 12:15 PM, I saw a long queue on the side-walk, of people waiting to simply get inside! The head of the visa division at the Consulate mentioned that they interview about 1500 people daily in Chennai alone.
For those who are not familiar with the visa-stamping interview process, this is what happens:
On this particular day, I arrived at the Consulate at 8:45 AM for the 9 AM appointment. By the time I faced my interviewing officer, it was almost noon. My interview time was just a couple of minutes or less. The officer wanted only three things from me: he wanted to know if I am already working in the US, he wanted to see my W-2 for 2006 and he asked me where I lived in the US.
While we stood in the queue to meet our interviewing officers, a guy named Mark, who is the head of the visa division at the Consulate gave us some tips on having a good interview. The tips he gave us were very simple and can be summarized as follows:
Sounds simple enough? Yet, it’s amazing how many people don’t follow those simple tips, especially the last one. During the time I spent near the front of the queue from where I could hear the questions and answers of other applicants, I saw many people (about 50% of them) giving bad or wrong answers to very simple questions merely because they did not understand the question right. The reason for that was not anything to do with the accent of the interviewing officer or his language. The officer’s accent was quite clear and the applicants I heard were all people who knew English. It is just that due to nervousness, anxiety, or whatever, people did not understand the officers’ questions right. I could see at least one officer get frustrated for that reason. As Mark said, they interview about 1500 people per day, everyday. So, I can imagine how frustrating it must be for the interviewing officers when people who know English do not understand a question right.
After my very short interview, I went back to the hotel packed up my bags and went to my first sister’s house in Periarnagar. I had lunch there and discovered that my sister cooks much better these days than she used to when I lived in my parent’s home. Must be all the practice after being married. I managed to stay awake most of the afternoon, but when I started to nod off on the couch, I decided to go sleep on the bed. After a jet-lagged nap of almost 4 hours, my sister and brother-in-law woke me up. My brother-in-law said he would take me out. I was too sleepy to ask where, and I just went with him without even washing my face. It turned out that he wanted to take me out for dinner. But my jet-lagged system was not ready for a big dinner, after the big lunch. So, we just had some snacks, packed something to take home and returned. I stayed in my sister’s home that night.
During the rickshaw ride from the hotel to my sister’s home, and again when riding pillion on my brother-in-law’s motorcycle to and from dinner (this was in Annanagar area), I did some introspecting about my current situation. More about that in a next post.
For those who are not familiar with the visa-stamping interview process, this is what happens:
- Outside the Consulate gate, a security guy checks the visa interview letter to confirm the date and time of the interview. If the date and time look okay, he lets you inside.
- Soon after you step inside, another security person checks your bags and files, and asks you if you are carrying a cellphone or any other electronic item. Except for the wristwatch, they don’t allow you to carry any other electronic item inside. It is advisable not to carry big bags or backpacks. It is also advisable to carry all your papers in transparent folders, although that is not an absolute necessity.
- After the security check, you stand in a line to show your papers to a clerk for verification. The papers you need to show are- the interview letter, visa fee receipt, passport, visa applications (DS-156 and DS-157) and any other papers specific to your visa type, such as work permit papers (I-797 and I-129). The visa interview guidance sheet you get at the time of taking your appointment will list all the documents you need. If the clerk finds your papers to be in order, s/he will bundle the papers together and slide a rubber band around them. S/he will then hand the bundle to you and ask you to go to the next building where the interview actually happens.
- Once you are in the next building, you spend the maximum time (one or two hours, or more!) merely standing in a queue to meet your interviewing officer. If you don’t know English, the personnel there will guide you to a queue where interpreters are available for the interview.
- Finally, you have the interview itself. The average interview time is 5 minutes or less. Most interviews take 3 minutes or less.
On this particular day, I arrived at the Consulate at 8:45 AM for the 9 AM appointment. By the time I faced my interviewing officer, it was almost noon. My interview time was just a couple of minutes or less. The officer wanted only three things from me: he wanted to know if I am already working in the US, he wanted to see my W-2 for 2006 and he asked me where I lived in the US.
While we stood in the queue to meet our interviewing officers, a guy named Mark, who is the head of the visa division at the Consulate gave us some tips on having a good interview. The tips he gave us were very simple and can be summarized as follows:
- Greet the interviewing officer nicely. Be polite through the interview process, even if your application is rejected. Do not get too agitated and disturb the mood of the interviewing officer and that of other applicants there.
- Have all your papers in order. Give the interviewing officer only the bundle of papers, which were bound by a rubber band by the clerk near the entrance to the Consulate. Do not give any other papers to the officer, unless s/he specifically asks for them.
- During the interview, pay careful attention to the question that’s being asked. Make sure you understand the question right and answer to the point. Keep the answer short and specific.
Sounds simple enough? Yet, it’s amazing how many people don’t follow those simple tips, especially the last one. During the time I spent near the front of the queue from where I could hear the questions and answers of other applicants, I saw many people (about 50% of them) giving bad or wrong answers to very simple questions merely because they did not understand the question right. The reason for that was not anything to do with the accent of the interviewing officer or his language. The officer’s accent was quite clear and the applicants I heard were all people who knew English. It is just that due to nervousness, anxiety, or whatever, people did not understand the officers’ questions right. I could see at least one officer get frustrated for that reason. As Mark said, they interview about 1500 people per day, everyday. So, I can imagine how frustrating it must be for the interviewing officers when people who know English do not understand a question right.
After my very short interview, I went back to the hotel packed up my bags and went to my first sister’s house in Periarnagar. I had lunch there and discovered that my sister cooks much better these days than she used to when I lived in my parent’s home. Must be all the practice after being married. I managed to stay awake most of the afternoon, but when I started to nod off on the couch, I decided to go sleep on the bed. After a jet-lagged nap of almost 4 hours, my sister and brother-in-law woke me up. My brother-in-law said he would take me out. I was too sleepy to ask where, and I just went with him without even washing my face. It turned out that he wanted to take me out for dinner. But my jet-lagged system was not ready for a big dinner, after the big lunch. So, we just had some snacks, packed something to take home and returned. I stayed in my sister’s home that night.
During the rickshaw ride from the hotel to my sister’s home, and again when riding pillion on my brother-in-law’s motorcycle to and from dinner (this was in Annanagar area), I did some introspecting about my current situation. More about that in a next post.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Buffet at the Olives Restaurant of Hotel Deccan Plaza
Hotel Deccan Plaza has a restaurant in it, called Olives. I discovered that the restaurant had a fabulous vegetarian buffet dinner for Rs. 265 (just over $6 American). I really loved the buffet. They had some traditional South Indian such as vatta-kozhambu, koottu and a drumstick-brinjal curry, along with mini-dosas. Traditional North Indian dishes included aloo-palak, paneer-makhan masala, daal, etc. , along with naans. They also had some non-traditional items such as breaded mushroom fry, pineapple tikka and salt-and-pepper-fried tinda. There was also a soup (mulligatawny today), mango juice and a flavorful, aromatic jeera (cumin) drink (it was not jal-jeera, at least not the usual variety). And of course, they had an assortment of desserts – Indian sweets and ice creams and fruits. Everything I ate tasted really good. I was told that the buffet is available for both lunch and dinner every day. I highly recommend it, if you are in Chennai and looking for a good place to eat.
Bangalore Notes - Feb 14th, 2007 – Meeting A & Travel to Chennai
Met A for breakfast this morning. It may be recalled that A is the girl who was introduced to my parents by our neighbors as a possible match for me. We met at the Malleshwaram 18th Cross bus stand. A had brought me a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk chocolate – I had told her that’s my favorite chocolate. I had taken her some chocolates I had brought from the US. A wanted to visit the Sai Baba temple near 15th Cross and Sampige Road. In all those years I spent roaming around Malleshwaram, I had never visited this temple. After that, we had breakfast at Janata Hotel on 8th Cross. The hotel is well-known masala dosa, which we had. I don’t know why it is considered to be so special. It was as good as a well-made dosa anywhere in the world – in Bangalore, Singapore, San Francisco or Phoenix.
I had thought we would be able to linger over breakfast and talk, but the ambience of Janata Hotel was suitable not for sitting and talking. It was strictly an eat-quick-and-leave kinda place. So, we started walking towards another temple adjacent to 8th Cross, between Margosa and Sampige roads. I thought it was a Krishna temple and we might find some quiet spot outside the temple to sit and talk. The temple turned out to be a Raghavendraswami temple, and while we sat there, A said she wanted to go to the ISKCON temple. So, we ended up visiting the third temple in one morning!
I had not visited ISKCON in a long time, and I was quite shocked by the security checks before entering the temple. There were guards at the front gate, with guns and a dog, checking the insides and the trunks of all the cars which came in. They did not allow backpacks or cameras into the temple – these had to be left outside against a receipt, near the place where we left our shoes. After that, we had to pass through a metal detector and were then frisked by another guard. Once inside, the visitors are almost always on a path that’s well-defined by ropes, which guides them through the temples, the movie theatre the shopping areas and food vendors, right back to the place where we left our shoes.
I can understand all those checks because ISKCON Bangalore has received bomb threats in the past. Nevertheless, I did not feel good about all the restrictions and herding. That’s enough to discourage me from visiting the place too often.
A and I were able to talk for sometime at ISKCON, outside the temple. The conversation was all general, about impersonal stuff – I don’t even remember all the things we talked about. Then, I dropped her off at the Yeshwanthpur bus stand and returned home. I could not take her any closer to her house because it was getting late for me – I had to return home, finish my packing, have lunch and catch the train to Chennai in a couple of hours. I am going to Chennai for the interview at the US Consulate for my visa stamping.
I left A with the impression that she is a nice, pleasant, comfortable person to be with. But I did not feel anything particularly romantic. Given the state of my life and emotions right now, I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to feel romantic again. Perhaps, never. Perhaps it was a mistake to interact with A, meet her, and waste her time and energy. I should have stuck to my guns and not let my family push me to interact with anybody. I always regret it when I go against my convictions for the sake of other people. So, what’s new? Ugh!
It always sucks when one’s convictions are in conflict with the expectations of others – especially family, friends and those we love. Going against our convictions makes us feel weak and spineless. Going against others’ expectations makes us seem rude and inconsiderate. I hate having to deal with this nonsense, and I hate the social setup which puts people into these kinds of situations.
Travelled to Chennai by the Brindavan Express train in the afternoon. The train left Bangalore at 1430 hrs and arrived in Chennai at around 2015 hrs or so. It was a mostly uneventful journey. I talked to a lady on the train, who has recently become involved, along with her husband, in one of the countless network marketing schemes. She gave me her card and invited me to meet her husband and see a presentation about her business during my stay in Chennai. I told her that I’d call her if I could spare time, but most probably I would have no time during my short stay there. In fact, my stay in Chennai is so short, I will not even have time to visit my aunt’s (mom’s older sister) home. To her credit, the lady did not try to force me too much. If she had, I would have clearly told her that I am not interested in joining any kind of network marketing scheme. Over the past 6 years, I have met many people, including some close friends, who have tried to get me to join such schemes. I have even seen friends try their hand at it and fail. I don’t think that business is for me.
I am staying at the Days Inn Hotel Deccan Plaza in Rayapettai area of Chennai. It is a comfortable place, with good service, and more importantly, it is quite close to the US Consulate.
I had thought we would be able to linger over breakfast and talk, but the ambience of Janata Hotel was suitable not for sitting and talking. It was strictly an eat-quick-and-leave kinda place. So, we started walking towards another temple adjacent to 8th Cross, between Margosa and Sampige roads. I thought it was a Krishna temple and we might find some quiet spot outside the temple to sit and talk. The temple turned out to be a Raghavendraswami temple, and while we sat there, A said she wanted to go to the ISKCON temple. So, we ended up visiting the third temple in one morning!
I had not visited ISKCON in a long time, and I was quite shocked by the security checks before entering the temple. There were guards at the front gate, with guns and a dog, checking the insides and the trunks of all the cars which came in. They did not allow backpacks or cameras into the temple – these had to be left outside against a receipt, near the place where we left our shoes. After that, we had to pass through a metal detector and were then frisked by another guard. Once inside, the visitors are almost always on a path that’s well-defined by ropes, which guides them through the temples, the movie theatre the shopping areas and food vendors, right back to the place where we left our shoes.
I can understand all those checks because ISKCON Bangalore has received bomb threats in the past. Nevertheless, I did not feel good about all the restrictions and herding. That’s enough to discourage me from visiting the place too often.
A and I were able to talk for sometime at ISKCON, outside the temple. The conversation was all general, about impersonal stuff – I don’t even remember all the things we talked about. Then, I dropped her off at the Yeshwanthpur bus stand and returned home. I could not take her any closer to her house because it was getting late for me – I had to return home, finish my packing, have lunch and catch the train to Chennai in a couple of hours. I am going to Chennai for the interview at the US Consulate for my visa stamping.
I left A with the impression that she is a nice, pleasant, comfortable person to be with. But I did not feel anything particularly romantic. Given the state of my life and emotions right now, I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to feel romantic again. Perhaps, never. Perhaps it was a mistake to interact with A, meet her, and waste her time and energy. I should have stuck to my guns and not let my family push me to interact with anybody. I always regret it when I go against my convictions for the sake of other people. So, what’s new? Ugh!
It always sucks when one’s convictions are in conflict with the expectations of others – especially family, friends and those we love. Going against our convictions makes us feel weak and spineless. Going against others’ expectations makes us seem rude and inconsiderate. I hate having to deal with this nonsense, and I hate the social setup which puts people into these kinds of situations.
Travelled to Chennai by the Brindavan Express train in the afternoon. The train left Bangalore at 1430 hrs and arrived in Chennai at around 2015 hrs or so. It was a mostly uneventful journey. I talked to a lady on the train, who has recently become involved, along with her husband, in one of the countless network marketing schemes. She gave me her card and invited me to meet her husband and see a presentation about her business during my stay in Chennai. I told her that I’d call her if I could spare time, but most probably I would have no time during my short stay there. In fact, my stay in Chennai is so short, I will not even have time to visit my aunt’s (mom’s older sister) home. To her credit, the lady did not try to force me too much. If she had, I would have clearly told her that I am not interested in joining any kind of network marketing scheme. Over the past 6 years, I have met many people, including some close friends, who have tried to get me to join such schemes. I have even seen friends try their hand at it and fail. I don’t think that business is for me.
I am staying at the Days Inn Hotel Deccan Plaza in Rayapettai area of Chennai. It is a comfortable place, with good service, and more importantly, it is quite close to the US Consulate.
Dying together is better than living apart!
Today's Times of India, Bangalore edition, had the following article:
What a waste of young lives! Clearly, they were both educated, with good careers, and the prospect of a great future together. It's all gone to waste now.
I bet this had something to do with the parents of one or both the dead people. I can never understand why/how educated young people feel obligated to their families to the point of making themselves miserable and even ending their lives, instead of antagonizing their families.
Their families and elders should feel ashamed of themselves for driving the youngsters to such desperate measures.
It is so sad. Yet, in another way, I feel happy for the dead couple. At least they were in it together and died together. I can just imagine the kind of intense bond they must have had, the immense sorrow they must have shared when they couldn't make things work, and the peace they must have felt as they finally decided and accepted the end.
I think having total compatibility and agreement with our lover, being together, even if it is in death, is much better than living with differences and mutual pain between us. Dying together, in total bonding, is better than living apart in separation.
Lovers end life in Mysore hotel
Mysore: Two lovers on Sunday night allegedly committed suicide, by consuming alcohol mixed with poison, at a hotel in Yadavagiri.
The deceased are P N Rajshekar(26), a software engineer, and Vasavi(24), a trainee at Infosys Technologies. Rajshkar hails from Hyderabad and Vasavi from Visakhapatnam. They both worked in Mysore.
According to police, the duo had checked into the hotel on Sunday evening.
The incident came to light when a room service boy received no response from the room on Monday morning. When the door was forced opened, the two were found dead.
Police traced an empty bottle of gin and a phial of pesticide. A suicide note left by the couple stated that they were happy to die together and it was inevitable. The note urged not to tear their photograph that was placed in the room. Fingerprint experts were pressed into service.
What a waste of young lives! Clearly, they were both educated, with good careers, and the prospect of a great future together. It's all gone to waste now.
I bet this had something to do with the parents of one or both the dead people. I can never understand why/how educated young people feel obligated to their families to the point of making themselves miserable and even ending their lives, instead of antagonizing their families.
Their families and elders should feel ashamed of themselves for driving the youngsters to such desperate measures.
It is so sad. Yet, in another way, I feel happy for the dead couple. At least they were in it together and died together. I can just imagine the kind of intense bond they must have had, the immense sorrow they must have shared when they couldn't make things work, and the peace they must have felt as they finally decided and accepted the end.
I think having total compatibility and agreement with our lover, being together, even if it is in death, is much better than living with differences and mutual pain between us. Dying together, in total bonding, is better than living apart in separation.
Tracking BMTC Buses - Google maps mashup anybody?
Today's Times of India, Bangalore Edition, had a piece about being able to track the location of BMTC (Bangalore city's public transport service) buses using the cellphone text message service. From the article:
It's great to know that BMTC has started tracking buses using GPS data. This gave me an idea for a new Google Maps mashup: Use BMTC's GPS data to create a constantly updated map of Bangalore, which shows the position of BMTC buses a user searches for. Buses travelling up and down can be differentiated by color codes. The user should have the option of being able to search for one, more or all buses for which BMTC has GPS data.
This could be a very useful service, and a great idea for an engineering student project. The Google maps API is easily available. It's just a matter of tying that up with real-time GPS data from BMTC's systems.
Any engineering students in Bangalore up for the challenge?
Now, all you have to do is SMS to find out the location of the bus. This facility, for now, has been provided to only the Volvo bus commuters.
The procedure is simple - if you're in Koramangala, and want to go to Electronics City, send an SMS message to 9945634666 reading 'Yi V356C U'. (where Yi stands for 'Yelli Iddira?', 'V365C' is the route number, 'U' stands for 'up'). Buses heading out of the 'starting station' are designated to as 'up' and buses heading towards the starting station are designated as 'down'.
Within a minute, you'll receive a reply stating 'Singasandra; Bangalore Dairy; Maharani's College', meaning there are three buses on this route currently, each of them approaching the stops listed, after having left the previous stops.
This BMTC new facility uses on-line GPS data.
It's great to know that BMTC has started tracking buses using GPS data. This gave me an idea for a new Google Maps mashup: Use BMTC's GPS data to create a constantly updated map of Bangalore, which shows the position of BMTC buses a user searches for. Buses travelling up and down can be differentiated by color codes. The user should have the option of being able to search for one, more or all buses for which BMTC has GPS data.
This could be a very useful service, and a great idea for an engineering student project. The Google maps API is easily available. It's just a matter of tying that up with real-time GPS data from BMTC's systems.
Any engineering students in Bangalore up for the challenge?
Bangalore Notes - Feb 13th, 2007 – Whining & Visiting
Woke up shortly after 3 AM today, although I slept well past 11:30 PM yesterday - effects of the jetlag. Try as I might, I could not go back to sleep. These lonely early mornings are the worst - the pains of hurt I caused to others and the hurt caused to my own self are felt most acutely at this time. This blog seems to be taking on a whining tone once too often these days... What I feel is many thousands of times worse than what I can express here. Words are not adequate. I am the last person to want to turn my blog into a whining forum about deeply personal things. I don't mind whining and ranting about impersonal issues though! :-) Like how not having an Internet connection at home is such a big bother!
I told my folks so many times to get an Internet connection before I came home. They don't know how essential and useful it can be. I guess I did not do a good enough job of communicating that to them. Moreover, the state of matters in the 'Silicon Valley of India' is that there is a wait of 4 months or more to get a broadband connection from BSNL, which many people claim to be the best and most dependable Internet service provider. I emailed Airtel a few days before I left Phoenix and gave them my Bangalore home address and phone number. They replied back to say they would get in touch with us, but we are yet to hear from them. I don't want to whine any more - personal or impersonal. I'll go lay down and see if I can make myself snooze a little.
I dropped in at Pankaja’s home this morning. She lives in Hyderabad now and has been staying in her parent’s house at Bangalore for the past couple of weeks or so, while her husband is visiting the US. She is returning to Hyderabad this afternoon, and I will not get another chance to meet her before I have to return to the US. I met Pankaja’s baby Siddi – she is one year and 8 months old. This is the first time that I am actually meeting a baby of one of my friends. From Pank’s home, I went to my aunt’s house – my mom’s younger sister. Her 16 or 17-year-old daughter is almost as tall as I am, and I bet she still has some more growing up to do! Can’t believe that she used to be the baby carried around in my arms and played with, not too long ago! I spent most of the day at my aunt’s, falling into jet-lagged sleep on her couch, later in the afternoon, before returning home in the evening.
Meeting Pank’s baby made me realize how far ahead all my friends have gone. They are all at the next stage in their lives – being married and about half of them already with kids. Srikanth was the last guy to marry – he got married on the 9th of this month and is honeymooning right now. Nagendra and I are the only two people in my group of friends who are yet to marry. Nagendra is probably waiting to hold down a permanent job before he finds someone to marry. As for me, I am waiting for true love.
I told my folks so many times to get an Internet connection before I came home. They don't know how essential and useful it can be. I guess I did not do a good enough job of communicating that to them. Moreover, the state of matters in the 'Silicon Valley of India' is that there is a wait of 4 months or more to get a broadband connection from BSNL, which many people claim to be the best and most dependable Internet service provider. I emailed Airtel a few days before I left Phoenix and gave them my Bangalore home address and phone number. They replied back to say they would get in touch with us, but we are yet to hear from them. I don't want to whine any more - personal or impersonal. I'll go lay down and see if I can make myself snooze a little.
I dropped in at Pankaja’s home this morning. She lives in Hyderabad now and has been staying in her parent’s house at Bangalore for the past couple of weeks or so, while her husband is visiting the US. She is returning to Hyderabad this afternoon, and I will not get another chance to meet her before I have to return to the US. I met Pankaja’s baby Siddi – she is one year and 8 months old. This is the first time that I am actually meeting a baby of one of my friends. From Pank’s home, I went to my aunt’s house – my mom’s younger sister. Her 16 or 17-year-old daughter is almost as tall as I am, and I bet she still has some more growing up to do! Can’t believe that she used to be the baby carried around in my arms and played with, not too long ago! I spent most of the day at my aunt’s, falling into jet-lagged sleep on her couch, later in the afternoon, before returning home in the evening.
Meeting Pank’s baby made me realize how far ahead all my friends have gone. They are all at the next stage in their lives – being married and about half of them already with kids. Srikanth was the last guy to marry – he got married on the 9th of this month and is honeymooning right now. Nagendra and I are the only two people in my group of friends who are yet to marry. Nagendra is probably waiting to hold down a permanent job before he finds someone to marry. As for me, I am waiting for true love.
Bangalore Notes - Feb 12th, 2007 – Bangalore Bandh
Today was the day of Karnataka state-wide bandh (which means closure of all schools and businesses), protesting the recent decision about the sharing of Cauvery river water with Tamilnadu. The bandh was mostly peaceful. There were a few incidents of people stopping vehicles which appeared to be commuting to work against the bandh call, and letting the air out of their tyres. The TV news also showed one place where a bunch of motorcycles were burnt. Apparently, these belonged to some people who had travelled to work. I feel sorry for the guys who owned those vehicles - I bet most of them are just middle-class or poor people who couldn't afford to replace the vehicles without feeling a painful pinch in their pockets. Some of them have probably not even paid off the loan on the vehicles which were burnt. And I bet, the insurance will not cover their loss. I wonder what compelled them risk things and to go out to work despite the highly emotional bandh.
I also wonder about how effective these bandhs are in achieving their objectives. Who feels the pinch of bandhs? Certainly not the state or central governments for whom it is nothing more than the loss of one day's tax revenue. Certainly neither the elected nor the unelected administrative officials would be bothered by such a loss. The people who are affected the worst by these bandhs are the who have the least power to do anything about the issues - the common people. The people who own businesses, the people whose personal plans and lives are adversely affected by the closures, the people whose travel plans are disrupted - these are the people whom a bandh affects the worst. So, how does a bandh really help in achieving any objectives? I guess it is mostly an activity for show, and also a psychological outlet for those people who feels passionately about the issues, but cannot do anything more effectively and meaningful to change things.
I woke up rather early today - sometime between 4 AM and 5 AM, I am guessing. Could not go back to sleep, my heart and mind filled with depression and nostalgia and pain for everything that happened in the past 2-3 years. It all feels like a piece of cactus stuck in my throat or chest, which I am not able to push down or bring back up. Wish things had not happened the way they did. The thing about wounds of the heart is that, the pain lives forever and ever. There is pain when the wounds are alive; there is also pain when they are healed, because the defeat and loss of love is always there. It feels so overwhelming at times - like the stuck cactus is blowing up like a balloon, becoming bigger and bigger, pricking more and more, constricting throat and heart. Time to get out of the bedroom now!
Went up to the terrace. The first impression was that of all the neighborhood buildings which seem to be growing up vertically. Between these buildings, I was greeted by a glorious sunrise - I immediately came down to grab my camera and clicked off a few pictures. (Photo will be posted when I have a better Internet connection!) The sight of the rising Sun caused a feeling of exhilaration and upliftment, tinged by a sadness and ache. I could not help thinking that if this was like the old days, I would have shared this photo with the girlfriend, infecting her with my exhilaration and taking joy in her enjoyment.
Three of my uncles came home today. Much of my waking hours were spent showing them and my family, photos from the last year and a half - photos of my new home in Phoenix, photos of my visits to places in beautiful Arizona, my housewarming party, etc. In the afternoon, after lunch, try as I might, I could not stop from falling into jet-lagged sleep. Between the sleep and visiting with family and relatives, I could talk to only two of my friends on the phone – Vikram and Pankaja. I wanted to call a few others, but time just slipped away and then it was too late in the night to call.
I also talked to A for the first time on the phone today. This is the girl who was introduced to my parents by our neighbor. My parents gave her my email address and she wrote to me. We chatted over the Internet about 3 times when I was in Phoenix. I don't feel ready to get into any new relationship so soon after my recent break-ups. I also feel weird communicating with someone introduced by my family, under the shadow of the pressure and curiosity from both families. I feel like I am artificially trying to start a relationship, without just letting things flow the way they naturally would. I am trying my best to let things work out on their own. For that reason, I have strictly told my parents to keep off me and not force me or ask me anything regarding this girl. But they find it hard to understand - they want me to do something and reach a 'yes or no' decision ASAP. They say they don't want to keep the girl's side waiting - if my answer is to be a 'no', they want to let them know that and let them move on with their lives. Sometimes I feel that I should have never let my parents give out my email address to A and have her write to me. I don't feel good stringing her along when I am not yet ready for a relationship. I have even told A all of this - about my feelings on arranged relationships, about my recent breakups, about my not being ready for a relationship, and about my not intending to get into any relationship with anybody unless my heart and soul was fully into that person and unless the other person felt the same way about me. Thankfully, she seems to understand all this, and seems to be willing to take it easy and let things flow naturally. We'll see how it goes.
I also wonder about how effective these bandhs are in achieving their objectives. Who feels the pinch of bandhs? Certainly not the state or central governments for whom it is nothing more than the loss of one day's tax revenue. Certainly neither the elected nor the unelected administrative officials would be bothered by such a loss. The people who are affected the worst by these bandhs are the who have the least power to do anything about the issues - the common people. The people who own businesses, the people whose personal plans and lives are adversely affected by the closures, the people whose travel plans are disrupted - these are the people whom a bandh affects the worst. So, how does a bandh really help in achieving any objectives? I guess it is mostly an activity for show, and also a psychological outlet for those people who feels passionately about the issues, but cannot do anything more effectively and meaningful to change things.
I woke up rather early today - sometime between 4 AM and 5 AM, I am guessing. Could not go back to sleep, my heart and mind filled with depression and nostalgia and pain for everything that happened in the past 2-3 years. It all feels like a piece of cactus stuck in my throat or chest, which I am not able to push down or bring back up. Wish things had not happened the way they did. The thing about wounds of the heart is that, the pain lives forever and ever. There is pain when the wounds are alive; there is also pain when they are healed, because the defeat and loss of love is always there. It feels so overwhelming at times - like the stuck cactus is blowing up like a balloon, becoming bigger and bigger, pricking more and more, constricting throat and heart. Time to get out of the bedroom now!
Went up to the terrace. The first impression was that of all the neighborhood buildings which seem to be growing up vertically. Between these buildings, I was greeted by a glorious sunrise - I immediately came down to grab my camera and clicked off a few pictures. (Photo will be posted when I have a better Internet connection!) The sight of the rising Sun caused a feeling of exhilaration and upliftment, tinged by a sadness and ache. I could not help thinking that if this was like the old days, I would have shared this photo with the girlfriend, infecting her with my exhilaration and taking joy in her enjoyment.
Three of my uncles came home today. Much of my waking hours were spent showing them and my family, photos from the last year and a half - photos of my new home in Phoenix, photos of my visits to places in beautiful Arizona, my housewarming party, etc. In the afternoon, after lunch, try as I might, I could not stop from falling into jet-lagged sleep. Between the sleep and visiting with family and relatives, I could talk to only two of my friends on the phone – Vikram and Pankaja. I wanted to call a few others, but time just slipped away and then it was too late in the night to call.
I also talked to A for the first time on the phone today. This is the girl who was introduced to my parents by our neighbor. My parents gave her my email address and she wrote to me. We chatted over the Internet about 3 times when I was in Phoenix. I don't feel ready to get into any new relationship so soon after my recent break-ups. I also feel weird communicating with someone introduced by my family, under the shadow of the pressure and curiosity from both families. I feel like I am artificially trying to start a relationship, without just letting things flow the way they naturally would. I am trying my best to let things work out on their own. For that reason, I have strictly told my parents to keep off me and not force me or ask me anything regarding this girl. But they find it hard to understand - they want me to do something and reach a 'yes or no' decision ASAP. They say they don't want to keep the girl's side waiting - if my answer is to be a 'no', they want to let them know that and let them move on with their lives. Sometimes I feel that I should have never let my parents give out my email address to A and have her write to me. I don't feel good stringing her along when I am not yet ready for a relationship. I have even told A all of this - about my feelings on arranged relationships, about my recent breakups, about my not being ready for a relationship, and about my not intending to get into any relationship with anybody unless my heart and soul was fully into that person and unless the other person felt the same way about me. Thankfully, she seems to understand all this, and seems to be willing to take it easy and let things flow naturally. We'll see how it goes.
Bangalore Notes - Feb 11th, 2007 - Arrival
Landed in Bangalore shortly after 5 PM. It was an uneventful flight. The highlights of the flight were the touch-screen entertainment systems on the Emirates airlines, and the forward and downward looking cameras mounted on the nose of the aircraft, which transmitted live video to our screens. For the first time in my life, I had some excellent views of the take-off and landing, just as it would appear from the cockpit of the plane! The other thing was that there seemed to be more leg-room in the Emirates flights, compared to Singapore airlines I have flown in the past. Some people had warned me that the flight from Dubai to India could get bad, with lots of labor-class people boarding at Dubai and misbehaving in the flight. Absolutely nothing of the sort happened. The people on the Dubai-Bangalore flight were as well as behaved as any group of airline travelers I have seen. The service on Emirates airlines was alright, and the food was alright too – there was nothing bad nor special about either.
At the Dubai airport, I could not resist buying a bottle of single-malt Scotch at the duty-free store. I have no idea who will drink it here, and I don't know what the reaction of my family will be either. Drinks are a taboo in my family, although (or perhaps because of) my father and his father's drinking habits in the past. Ideally, I would like to open this bottle with the male members of my family, at home, when all the females are out shopping or something. We shall see how that will go. The last time I had come to Bangalore in 2005, I had brought a bottle of tequila - my mom and sisters did not like my doing that very much. I used it to party with my friends and left about 1/3 of the bottle at home when I returned to the US. Wonder what happened to it...
My parents came to the airport to pick me up. They seem to have aged quite a bit since I last saw them in 2005. They certainly have much more gray hair, especially my mom. I can also see signs in her face of struggles with less-than-ideal health. After we returned home, I saw my dad struggle with some digestion problems, which he said were due to all the tea and snacks he was served when visiting people to invite them to my sister's wedding. Makes me feel sad and very concerned for my parents. They don’t even have medical insurance since my dad retired in August 2006!
It took about an hour for us to get home from the airport, in the relatively lesser Sunday evening traffic. I was impressed by the fly-over work on Airport Road near Indiranagar. The last time I was in India, in May-June 2005, the construction on this fly-over had not even started! So, that's some pretty quick work... going by the usual standards of public construction here. The underpass at the Rajajinagar entrance area was also completed providing much relief to that junction. I bet our travel time was cut down by at least 15 minutes, if not more, just because of these two - fly-over on airport road and the under-pass at Rajajinagar entrance.
When I came home, I found my grandmother there along with one of my cousins. I was glad that they were there. If not, I would have felt a little weird and lonely to be in the house with just my parents. We have never really been by ourselves until now - just the three of us! I spoke to my uncles and aunt on my mother side, on the phone and then fell asleep soon after dinner. I was glad to fall asleep at the right local time, although that would have been morning in Phoenix. Sleeping and waking up at the right local time is the best way to beat jetlag.
At the Dubai airport, I could not resist buying a bottle of single-malt Scotch at the duty-free store. I have no idea who will drink it here, and I don't know what the reaction of my family will be either. Drinks are a taboo in my family, although (or perhaps because of) my father and his father's drinking habits in the past. Ideally, I would like to open this bottle with the male members of my family, at home, when all the females are out shopping or something. We shall see how that will go. The last time I had come to Bangalore in 2005, I had brought a bottle of tequila - my mom and sisters did not like my doing that very much. I used it to party with my friends and left about 1/3 of the bottle at home when I returned to the US. Wonder what happened to it...
My parents came to the airport to pick me up. They seem to have aged quite a bit since I last saw them in 2005. They certainly have much more gray hair, especially my mom. I can also see signs in her face of struggles with less-than-ideal health. After we returned home, I saw my dad struggle with some digestion problems, which he said were due to all the tea and snacks he was served when visiting people to invite them to my sister's wedding. Makes me feel sad and very concerned for my parents. They don’t even have medical insurance since my dad retired in August 2006!
It took about an hour for us to get home from the airport, in the relatively lesser Sunday evening traffic. I was impressed by the fly-over work on Airport Road near Indiranagar. The last time I was in India, in May-June 2005, the construction on this fly-over had not even started! So, that's some pretty quick work... going by the usual standards of public construction here. The underpass at the Rajajinagar entrance area was also completed providing much relief to that junction. I bet our travel time was cut down by at least 15 minutes, if not more, just because of these two - fly-over on airport road and the under-pass at Rajajinagar entrance.
When I came home, I found my grandmother there along with one of my cousins. I was glad that they were there. If not, I would have felt a little weird and lonely to be in the house with just my parents. We have never really been by ourselves until now - just the three of us! I spoke to my uncles and aunt on my mother side, on the phone and then fell asleep soon after dinner. I was glad to fall asleep at the right local time, although that would have been morning in Phoenix. Sleeping and waking up at the right local time is the best way to beat jetlag.
India Trip 2007
My trip to India started at 10:44 PM on Feb 9th from Phoenix to JFK Airport in New York by America West Airlines (US Airways); left New York, by Emirates Airlines, at 10:20 AM on Feb 10th to arrive in Bangalore on the 11th, via Dubai. I have three weeks in Bangalore before returning to Phoenix on March 5th. During this time, my access to the Internet, posting on this blog and responding to emails will be irregular.
While packing for my trip on the evening before (Feb 8th) I was to leave for India, there were a few hours of panic and anxiety when I could not find my original degree certificates and mark sheets. I needed to take them with me when going for my visa-stamping interview at the US Consulate in India. My roommate and I went through every piece of paper and every box I had at home. Then we drove to my office late in the night and looked there without success.
That night was restless and so was the next morning, constantly wondering where I might have misplaced the documents and if I had lost them somewhere. I planned on going once more through every inch of my home during the couple of hours I'd have that evening, before leaving to the airport. However, that morning, I called home and told my mother about the lost documents. She spent the late hours of her night looking for them at my home in Bangalore. Finally, I got a call at 3 PM, my time, informing me that the documents had been found in a drawer at my home in Bangalore! What a relief! But I could have sworn I had brought the original documents with me to Phoenix! Once the documents were found, I could complete my packing and start my travel with much less anxiety. Whew!
While packing for my trip on the evening before (Feb 8th) I was to leave for India, there were a few hours of panic and anxiety when I could not find my original degree certificates and mark sheets. I needed to take them with me when going for my visa-stamping interview at the US Consulate in India. My roommate and I went through every piece of paper and every box I had at home. Then we drove to my office late in the night and looked there without success.
That night was restless and so was the next morning, constantly wondering where I might have misplaced the documents and if I had lost them somewhere. I planned on going once more through every inch of my home during the couple of hours I'd have that evening, before leaving to the airport. However, that morning, I called home and told my mother about the lost documents. She spent the late hours of her night looking for them at my home in Bangalore. Finally, I got a call at 3 PM, my time, informing me that the documents had been found in a drawer at my home in Bangalore! What a relief! But I could have sworn I had brought the original documents with me to Phoenix! Once the documents were found, I could complete my packing and start my travel with much less anxiety. Whew!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Yahoo! Our City - Bangalore
Yahoo! has started a new Our City portal. Right now, it is in beta and only available on Yahoo's India site (yahoo.in) for Bangalore and New Delhi.
This new effort by Yahoo! is a great example of what a localized web portal should be. The best thing about this site is that it is a mash-up, weaving together information from a variety of sources, including and not limited to, Wikipedia, Yahoo! News, Upcoming.org (for events), del.icio.us (for bookmarks), The Weather Channel, various blog sources including Bangalore Metblogs and Flickr (for photos).
Since the information on this local portal is culled from many different sources which are constantly updated, it ensures that the portal always presents fresh information to visitors. Too bad that there is still no worthy online mapping application for Indian cities. It would have been a perfect fit here.
My favorite part of the site is Kannada World. At a time when many organizations and individuals in/about Bangalore easily forget Kannada, it is heartening to see Yahoo! put in a special Kannada section. Way to win the hearts of local people. The next step on the portal is to change all references to Bangalore to Bengalooru. :-)
This new effort by Yahoo! is a great example of what a localized web portal should be. The best thing about this site is that it is a mash-up, weaving together information from a variety of sources, including and not limited to, Wikipedia, Yahoo! News, Upcoming.org (for events), del.icio.us (for bookmarks), The Weather Channel, various blog sources including Bangalore Metblogs and Flickr (for photos).
Since the information on this local portal is culled from many different sources which are constantly updated, it ensures that the portal always presents fresh information to visitors. Too bad that there is still no worthy online mapping application for Indian cities. It would have been a perfect fit here.
My favorite part of the site is Kannada World. At a time when many organizations and individuals in/about Bangalore easily forget Kannada, it is heartening to see Yahoo! put in a special Kannada section. Way to win the hearts of local people. The next step on the portal is to change all references to Bangalore to Bengalooru. :-)
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