Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Corporate Reaction to a Rape

What should be the reaction of a CEO when an employee of his company is raped and murdered? If you are Som Mittal, the IIT- and IIM-educated CEO of HP Global Soft, India, your one and only action should be to cover HP's ass, and not care a whit nor show any empathy for the raped and murdered victim, her family, your other employees or humanity.

Background news:
BPO rape, murder clouds Bangalore from The Indian Express

BPO worker raped and killed in B'lore, driver held from The Hindustan Times

Before I go further, please read this article published in The Deccan Herald: No lapse on our part: HP CEO. For the reader's convenience, I am pasting a copy of the article below, at the end of this post.

When I read the article, I was shocked and angered by the reactions of Som Mittal, the CEO of Hewlett-Packard GlobalSoft Limited, India. (The company has a very strange website, by the way. It has just one section for investors, and nothing else!). Mr Mittal's statements and reactions show without a doubt that his sole motivation is to cover HP's ass, so that the company is not adversely affected by any fall-out from this rape and murder case. In the process, he displays zero empathy and concern for the victim and for his other employees. He talks like a perfect company boy who is devoid of any humanity whatsoever. There appears to be not even a pretense of care or concern. Look at some of the statements he has made in this article, published three days after the news of the rape and murder came out. Would he make similar statements if a lady from his own family had been raped and murdered?

Som Mittal said that there was "no lapse" on the part of the company or the transport firm engaged to ferry the employees.

This is clearly not true because:

1. The criminal driver who picked up the victim from her home knew her cell phone number and knew at what time to pick her up. He also had similar information about two other female employees who refused to board his vehicle prior to his picking up the victim. Clearly, he got this information either from HP GlobalSoft or from the transport firm, SRS Travels.

2. When the legitimate driver, who was actually supposed to pickup the victim came to know that she was picked up by somebody else, he informed HP about it. HP took no action on that information. There were no alarms, no checks done.

3. HP arranged for the pickup of a lone female employee in the middle of the night, without any protection or escort.

4. When the victim's husband called HP to report that his wife was missing, all that they told him was that she did not report to work. The fact that they had been informed about her being picked up by a different driver was lost somewhere.

Keeping all this in view, how the heck could Mr Mittal claim that there was "no lapse" on his company's part?

Asked what precautionary measures have been taken, he said “the element of risk is always there” and that the query was like asking “what precautionary measure can be taken against a suicide bomber.”

This is just nonsense! If there was no way to protect oneself from a suicide bomber, then every president of the United States and Israel would have been a victim of suicide bomb attacks. For decades, the presidents of these countries have been hated by countless suicide bombers. Yet, none of them have been killed by a suicide bomber yet precisely because of the precautionary measures taken in ensuring their safety and security. We are not asking for the American president's secret service type of security for employees. Even simple measures like ensuring that no female employee is ever transported alone would have saved the life of the victim in this case.

“We haven’t even gone into it”, was his reply to the question on providing compensation. It is a one-of-its-kind case where the policy issues of the company are yet to be looked into,” he said and merely noted, “We do provide coverage on PF and Gratuity,”

"What the fuck!", is all I can say in reaction that statement. Hello? It is three days after the tragic news came out, and you guys have still not "gone into" the matter of compensation? It could be acceptable that no decision has been taken in this matter, but it is unacceptable that the CEO of HP GlobalSoft India did what every wussy manager in the history of management has always done: hide behind "policy issues"! You are damn right, it is a "one-of-its-kind case", and you think there is a policy written by HP about what compensation to give for an employee who might be raped and murdered? What the fuck again! This must be the worst example of a manager using the age old "policy" argument to escape responsibility! I doubt that there are many managers who can stoop lower. And then he talks about PF and gratuity like it is a favor the company is doing! If no decision had been reached about what compensation to provide, could he not have simply said they will do their best?

Queried whether HP will take the lead in addressing some of the policy issues the incident has thrown up before BPO industry, he said the company was open to discussing and sharing the best practices within the industry.

Yeah, right! This is another typical lame management response: "We'll see. We'll discuss." Once again, I have to get personal with Mr Mittal: If something like this had happened to a personal relative of his, would he be sitting on his thumbs and making vague statements about discussing and sharing best practices to ensure the safety of the rest of his family? No, he would be doing something about it.

To give an example of what could be done, on the same day that this article a fine exhibit of Mr Mittal's management competencies was published, this was part of an email that Wipro circulated to its staff:


Some of the measures taken by us while operating transport for late night and 24x7 project operations is as
below :
• A dedicated Wipro manned helpdesk to handle queries/concerns.
• All vehicles and drivers are from professional transport companies.
• We maintain all the details of the vehicles and of the drivers such as Driving license copy, residential address, vehicle details etc. in our department.
• All vehicles are fitted with seat belts and are not more than 3 years old.
• We monitor operations with the help our own transport team.
• No first pick up or last drop of lady employee.
• All employees are picked and dropped from/at their homes.
• Display of all contact numbers for any concerns in the vehicles used.
• Display of the route identification in all vehicles.

Some more measures being planned in the near future include
• Police verification of all drivers servicing our requirements.
• ID cards to drivers
• Deploying escort guards in vehicles ferrying lady employees in case of a last drop.

We wish to reiterate a few important points for your safety and request you to adhere to it :
• When traveling alone in the cab make sure you pass on the vehicle registration number to your relative / friend with the estimated time of arrival at your destination. Make sure the driver also hears this conversation.
• Lady employees: Please insist on another male employee to be present in the cab during the night pick-up/drops (between 2100 hrs-0600 hrs). If you happen to be the first pick-up / last drop / lone traveler please do not board the cab. Wipro transport desk will ensure an alternate arrangement is made.
• Please do not board the cab if the identification display is not available. Check with the transport help desk before boarding.
• If any aberration in your pick-up schedule, please notify the Transport desk and confirm before boarding the cab.
• Avoid discussing your personal / immediate plans while in the cab. Keep mobiles charged and with sufficient balance to make emergency calls if required.
• Avoid being friendly with drivers or withdrawing cash from ATMs en route.
• Never permit unknown persons or drivers associates to ride in the same vehicle.
• In case the vehicle stops at a secluded / lonely spot and the driver makes an excuse of engine malfunction / no fuel, get down from the vehicle immediately and from a safe distance, observe his actions and call up the help desk or your Supervisor and inform.
• Any concerns/suggestions or issues to be communicated to the Transport help desk please.

Safety is each one’s responsibility and it always pays to be paranoid than be sorry.
Few useful tips when in danger…
• Your elbows are the strongest points – use them to the extent possible
• Lock doors and leave as soon as you get into your car.
• If ever stuck in a boot of a car, kick out the tail lights and signal through the hole
• When a robber demands your bag, toss it away from you and run in the opposite direction.
• Be alert to anything not normal
• Appear confident and do not panic


While Mr Mittal sits on his thumbs and gives out his company boy's statements as a reaction to one of his own company's employees being raped and murdered, other companies have gone ahead and taken specific, concrete action. Sure, these actions may not protect their employees from a suicide bomber, but these measures would certainly have saved the person and life of the poor lady whose only crime was to work for HP in the middle of the night. And oh, to trust the driver of the transport company hired by HP!

Neither HP nor Mr Mittal should be let off easily. The story of most of India's problems is the story of poor accountability. Anybody can do just about anything and escape if they have enough clout, money and luck on their side. Such lack of accountability encourages and perpetuates more wrongs and evils nationwide. HP should be made to pay heavily for their undoubted lapse. As for Mr Mittal, he should go back and get some much needed training in the basics of being a caring, empathic, sensitive human, before he can be the company boy manager!

---+--*--+---




No lapse on our part: HP CEO

DH News Service Bangalore:

Three days after the news about rape and gruesome murder of one of his employees who was on her way to work, left this booming BPO city rattled, Mr Som Mittal,CEO HP Global Soft, India, said that there was “no lapse” on the part of the company or the transport firm engaged to ferry the employees.

Three days after the news about rape and gruesome murder of one of his employees who was on her way to work, left this booming BPO city rattled, Mr Som Mittal,CEO HP Global Soft, India, said that there was “no lapse” on the part of the company or the transport firm engaged to ferry the employees.

Asked what precautionary measures have been taken, he said “the element of risk is always there” and that the query was like asking “what precautionary measure can be taken against a suicide bomber.” Mr Mittal described what happened to Ms Prathibha Srikantamurthy as “shattering.” But answers to the questions on the larger issues that the incident has thrown up were not forthcoming.

“We haven’t even gone into it”, was his reply to the question on providing compensation. It is a one-of-its-kind case where the policy issues of the company are yet to be looked into,” he said and merely noted, “We do provide coverage on PF and Gratuity,” Should BPO companies go in for in-house transport options? No, he said. Just as companies like his are hired by others for specialised services, his company has hired professionals for its transport requirements, he explained. On why the company didn’t check up on Prathibha when she was absent without intimating the office, Mr Mittal responded thus: Absenteeism in this industry is about 12 to 15 per cent. Some inform, others don’t. The latter are referred as the “no shows”; the back-up staff simply fill in their slot. It is not exactly an alarm and at three in the morning we do not call back home. The alarm for us is when we receive complaints of driver’s misbehaviour or non co-operation. Mr Mittal noted that he has already spoken to NASSCOM in the wake of the incident. Queried whether HP will take the lead in addressing some of the policy issues the incident has thrown up before BPO industry, he said the company was open to discussing and sharing the best practices within the industry. In what amounts to a bid to reassure the guardians, Mr Mittal noted, “Parents can come and interact with us, and check for themselves the work place (of their children)”.


Source: No lapse on our part: HP CEO

Monday, December 19, 2005

Vegetarians get the stepmotherly treatment again!

Yet another office party come and gone, and vegetarians get step-motherly treatment again! By the time half the people at the party had taken the food, all the vegetarian appetizers were gone. The vegetarian entree was never ordered at all! The only things left for vegetarians were the salad and pita bread! In contrast, the non-vegetarian dishes not only lasted through the party, two trays of the non-veg entree were actually left-over!

I am not only unhappy because I am a vegetarian myself, I also feel guilty because I was in the organizing committee for the party. And I told the other committee members that vegetarian dishes are something that everyone consumes, where as, meat dishes are something which only the non-vegetarians will touch. So, although the number of vegetarians might actually be smaller than the number of non-vegetarians in absolute terms, we should order more vegetarian food than non-vegetarian food. Here are a couple of responses I got to my point:

1. From an American lady: Usually non-vegetarians eat only non-veg dishes. I have often seen that the vegetarians will want to try a little bit of a chicken dish or something. That is what usually happens.

2. From an Indian guy, who should have known better: Usually non-vegetarians take 75% non-veg items and 25% veg items. So, we should order 75% non-veg items and 25% veg items.

The person who finally placed the order reviewed the order with us. It all seemed good because the vegetarian appetizers were going to be ordered for everyone, and the vegetarian entree was also going to be ordered in sufficient quantity. But, when the order was delivered, for some reason, the number of vegetarian appetizers were half of what was expected, and the vegetarian entree was totally missing!

This party is not the first time that I have seen this. It happens all the time. If a group of us friends go out for dinner, and some non-vegetarian orders the food, he'd usually order non-veg and veg dishes in equal proportion. There would be enough non-veg dishes for the meat-eaters. The veg dishes would disappear fast because everyone eats them, not just the vegetarians. If someone orders pizza for a team of 10, out of which 3 are vegetarians, they order just 1 or 2 veg pizza thinking that is more than enough for the 3 vegetarians. Turns out that everyone, including the meat-eaters, like the veg pizza. So, at the end, there is meat pizza left-over, where as, the veg pizza is all gone, and the vegetarians might have gotten less slices than they wanted. For two years in a row, we have run out of the small number of veg burgers we took to the company picnic. Vegetarians who came in late had to spend the whole afternoon eating finger food like chips! In some meetings and gatherings, when the organizers pre-ordered food without checking/informing with the participants, they have totally missed ordering something for the vegetarians present. The vegetarians had to just sit around munching on chips, while others had "real" lunch.

I am convinced that non-vegetarians cannot get the food right (quality nor quantity) for vegetarians, unless they are really, really experienced, have that rare thing called common-sense, and an even more rare thing called consideration.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bangalore Vs Bengalooru

Apparently, there has been an announcement that Bangalore's name will be "changed" to Bengalooru (pronounced Bengalooru), effective from Nov 1st, 2006, the Golden Jubilee of the formation of Karnataka state, of which Bangalore is the capital.

The announcement has sparked a debate in many circles, including articles and opinion polls in the media. Unlike the debates over the name change of most other cities in India (Bombay to Mumbai, Calcutta to Kolkata, Madras to Chennai, Trivandrum to Thiruvanantapuram) and elsewhere in the world (Peking to Beijing, Edo to Tokya, Constantinople to Istanbul, etc.), the debate over the name "change" of Bangalore is happening at local, national and global levels. The debates have found participation from a lot of "outsiders". By "outsiders", I mean people who are not locals of Bangalore and those who are not residents of Bangalore. Sometimes it appears that more number of "outsiders" are debating the topic, than locals. That is because of the position and stature that Bangalore has gained as a major IT hub of India and of the world. The city has even resulted in a new word being added to the English language: Bangalored!

Here's something interesting to keep in mind regarding the name "change" of Bangalore to Bengalooru. It is not really a name change like Bombay to Mumbai and Madras to Chennai. It is more of a spelling change to reflect the correct pronunciation. It is just an adoption of a more Indian, less anglicized pronunciation of the name, and the corresponding spelling.

Further, the Kannada language media has always written and pronounced it correctly as Bengalooru. So, they are finding it a little awkward to explain what the name change issue is all about. For example, a Kannada language article might say something to the effect of, "There is a proposal to change the name of Bengaluru from Bangalore to Bengalooru"! That sure is awkward and somewhat confusing!

Not surprisingly, most "outsiders" are not in favor of the name Bengalooru. Bangalore being a city where the immigrant population is quite high and increasing on a daily basis, many media polls show that the majority of the people of Bangalore are not in favor of the name Bengalooru. When asked, the people who oppose the name "change" give the following reasons:

1. The name "change" involves an unnecessary expenditure of the taxpayers money. The government should instead concentrate on other, more important issues.

2. The name "change" will adversely affect Bangalore's international image and global branding.

3. The third reason is that... well, there is no third reason. Many "outsiders" oppose the name change "just cuz". Just cuz it sounds unfamiliar, just cuz it sounds too local and down-to-Earth, just cuz whatever they feel!

Reason number 1 will be articulated more often and with higher decibels. Reason number 2 is mentioned less often. Reason number 3 is almost never truly articulated because it is less rational and more emotional. However, I suspect that reason 3 is the biggest and most truthful reason for people's opposition. That is purely speculation on my part, I admit. But I think I am right.

If reason number 1 is truly what bothers people, why do they not debate, complain, protest and raise a voice against the government's non-performance, mismanagement and wastage of taxpayer's money on a daily basis? Why don't they raise the voice against the corruption which pervades every level of government functioning in Bangalore and the rest of India? Why don't they urge the government in no uncertain terms to go forward with improving the infrastructure of Bangalore, completing the international airport project which has been languishing for over a decade, implement a badly needed mass transit system, etc? The money that will be spent for the name "change" will by far be less than what is wasted due to corruption and mismanagement everyday.

As for reason number 2, it does not need much debate. Calling Bangalore as Bengalooru will not make or break the fortunes of the city, its businesses and people. Everybody will quickly adapt and move forward. It will be business as usual. The image and brand of Bangalore will remain intact the world over. After all, changing Bombay to Mumbai and Madras to Chennai are examples of true name changes, and those cities were not adversely affected.

The majority of people who oppose the name change because of reason number 3 - conscious or subconscious emotional dislike of the name Bengalooru - should give it some rational thought. If Kannadigas, the people of Karnataka and the local people of Bangalore want to change the name of their city for sentimental reasons, let them do so. Their sentimental reasons are rooted in their feelings for culture and language. Let them feel their sentiments, let them feel their pride. Let others not oppose them or make fun of them just because the others feel that the name is unfamiliar and has a very local flavor. If the case had been vice-versa, if the popular name of the city had been Bengaluru all these decades and people became familiar with that name, and then someone wanted to make Bangalore the official name, there would still be people who would oppose it "just cuz". So, the "just cuz" reasons and opinions should not distort and influence the debate.

Remember, what is happening is not a real change of name. Suppose a foreigner mispronounced your name, and they spelled your name to match their mispronounciation. Wouldn't you want to change the spelling to match the correct pronunciation? Wouldn't you want to teach them to pronounce your name right?

That is the case with the name "change" of Bangalore to Bengalooru!

Related: Bengalooru! Bengalooru! Bengalooru!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Epiphany of an IT Coolie

A few hours ago, I had one of those epiphanic moments we sometimes have only in the rest room. I realized that how much an organization values its employees, and how it treats them depends on what they directly contribute to the organization.

"Well... duh!", you might say. But hold on for a moment. Of course, that is common sense, and I always knew that. The special thing about today's realization is that, it reveals to me my job situation, my entire 8-year career in the software services business, in a new light. The key concept in my realization is, what we contribute directly to our organization.

What I realized was this: Suppose you are employed by a company, whose basic business is to provide services to other client companies. Meaning, your company deploys you to work on projects/systems of clients, and bills the clients for the work you put in. Consequently, your main direct contribution to your own company is simply the money your client pays for your work. All the hard work, passion, dedication, emotion, heart and soul you put into your work do not go to your company. They go to your client.

No wonder that so often, the experience of such professionals who work on client projects is that, the clients seem to understand and appreciate the value of their contributions and talents, more than their own employers. The employers just treat them like bodies which earn a certain X number of dollars per hour. Why would they not? From their perspective, that is exactly what those professionals are. And unless that amount X which an employee brings in is really, really big, the company has no reason to take special notice of her/him. What is worse, since the average amount X is just homogeneous cash, the company does not even truly look at the employee as a unique, individual person. S/he is just one of many other homogeneous employees who can bring in the same amount X. S/he is dispensable and replaceable.

The situation is not very different from a pimp and his prostitutes. The pimp sends out prostitutes to earn money by the hour, by the day... or er, by the night. For the pimp, the prostitute is only a body who brings him some money. Money is his only real concern. He is concerned about her well-being only so far as she can get him money. If something goes wrong, he is more than willing to replace her with somebody else who might bring in equal or more money. He has no more interest in her health or feelings.

This is not a very pleasant realization to have after putting in eight years of work for my company, the best years of my 20s! But that is the bitter reality.

I work for one of India's foremost software services companies. I have spent most of the last 5 years of my career at client locations in the US. During this time, I have worked alongside employees of the client organizations, doing equal and at times, more work than them. I have seen these employees progress, get yearly pay raises, promotions, etc. Some of the more deserving employees have received big promotions. In contrast, I have gained precious little mileage within my company. I am embarrassed to admit it myself, but that is the truth.

Oh, sure! I too have received pay increases and enhanced roles. I have received pay increases about 6 times in the past 5 years. And, I now lead projects, rather than just work as an individual programmer. But all that brings little personal benefit to me. The pay increases are all applied to my Indian salary. Meaning, I would start getting the higher pay only if/when I go back to India and continue working for my company there. My pay in the US has not changed in the past four years. So, effectively, I have not received any pay increases at all during that period! And my enhanced roles and responsibilities have not come with any corresponding increase in grade. Not at all!

When I ask my supervisors for enhancements to my pay and grade, the kind of responses I get can only be described as bull shit.

Today's epiphanic moment is important because it has revealed to me why this is so. As far as my company is concerned, there is no big difference between what I was five years ago and what I am now. Five years ago, I was a body that earned X dollars per hour for my company, today I am a body who earns X+delta dollars per hour. All my work, knowledge, experience, enhanced competencies over the years have not directly contributed to my company. They have been useful only to the clients. So, the clients recognize and appreciate them. My company does not. Even the enhanced responsibilities and roles I have received have been awarded by the clients, not by my company. That is why the higher responsibilities and roles have not come with higher grades and pay. That is the nature of this business, the nature of this system.

I know that if I had been directly employed by one of my clients, my work would have directly affected my employer's business systems. It would have made a tangible difference to their business. Consequently, I wouldn't be just a dollar earner for the company. I would be the person who made the business function better. So, the work I have put in over the years would have been suitably recognized and rewarded. I would have been in a much better position, than I am in right now. I have seen how much clients value, respect, recognize and reward their employees who put in good work, who have good talent and potential.

If you are in a situation like mine, where your day-to-day work and talents are not directly contributing to your own company's systems, if all that your company is getting from your work is a few dollars per hour, let this be a lesson to you. Do not stay in such a job for long, unless one of the following is true:

1. The personal rewards/compensation you are getting are significantly high. You can afford to put your long term career interests on hold for sometime, while you earn some good money.

2. It is only a temporary situation and you are confident that you can quickly move into a position where your day-to-day work directly adds value to your company. By value, I don't mean the dollars per hour you might earn your company.

3. The dollars you earn for your company is very, very high. So high that, the CEO or his direct reports know about you.

If either of these is not true, you would serve your long term career interests better by looking for a job where you can directly contribute to the company.

I have decided that I will never again let myself be trapped in this kind of a system on a long term basis. I want my company to recognize and reward me for what I am, for my talents and contributions in making things better for the company, for my contributions to the company's business. I don't want to be just a coolie who adds another buck to the maestri's* kitty!

*maestri - Indian word for the leader of a group of laborers. The maestri negotiates the laborers' rates with the clients, supervises their work, gets money from the clients and pays the laborers.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Love Happens!

Someone asked this on a message board:

I was/am more good looking than both my ex-boyfriends. I am intelligent, loyal and very very committed. Place my relationship first, before 'everything else'. I loved them so much. I wanted it to work so badly, but it did not. Why didnt it work. I wonder what kind of girl they must be with now. What does she have that I dont. Why will they like someone else. Everybody like attractive partner. I am very very attractive, very beautiful. They couldnd stop telling me how beautiful I am. And I was funny. And I loved them with all my heart. I never left them. They left me. I am still alone. They both moved on so fast. Moved on with their career, with their life. I am not so whiney in real life, as I may sound in this message. I am fun. I am very fun to be with. And I deserve to be happy. But I am not.

My response:

The only word which comes to my mind right now in association with love is, "happens". Love happens. Cannot be forced, cannot be made to happen.

Love does not wait to see if you are the best person there is. Nor does love wait to see how you love. It happens when it happens. It stops when it stops. It moves on when it moves on. That's all.

There is no point in analyzings the why's and the where's and the what for's. Just let go and let love.

- Swami Libran Lover

Random Updates

9th Dec, 2005: My office desktop (which actually sat on the floor and served as a convenient high-rise foot-rest), was replaced by a laptop today. I have been using laptops for official work (at home) from 2000, when laptops used to be a status symbol. However, during all that time, the laptop was only a second computer for use at home or elsewhere. I always had a desktop PC at work. This is the first time the laptop has actually replaced my desktop. I remember reading a Computer World article not too long ago that this is the trend in companies across the US. When a laptop can give us everything that our old desktop PC could, plus the mobility, for only a few hundred bucks more, companies are increasingly replacing old desktops with laptops. For my work and play, today's laptops are more than enough. My personal machine at home is also a laptop. This makes me wonder nostalgically, if I will ever use a desktop again.

11th Dec, 2005: For the first time today, I flipped the middle finger to another car driver. The light changed green, and I started to take a left turn onto a ramp, to get on the freeway. There was this Dodge Taurus truck which had stopped behind me at the light. As soon as we were both on the ramp, the truck guy revved up speed trying to pass me. The ramp had two lanes at the beginning and the idiot misjudged his speed or my speed or his truck's power, or all three of these. By the time he could come anywhere close to my car, the two lanes of the ramp had merged into one, and yet this guy insisted on passing me on that single lane, and he did too despite my honking. Did that give him any head start on the freeway? Of course, not! He had to deal with the freeway traffic like everybody else. Within no time, I had caught up with him, passed him and flipped a finger at him! If you drive too fast or too dangerously for the sake of the thrills, I have nothing to say to you, idiot! However, if you are doing that because you are in a hurry to get somewhere, I have this piece of unsolicited advice: unless you are driving really really far, driving fast doesn't save you much time. Suppose you are going to a place 20 miles away. If you are driving safe and well around the speed limit at 60 mph, you will reach the place in around 20 minutes. If you drive fast and reckless at 80 mph, you will reach the place in around 15 minutes (this is assuming you can drive at a constant 80 mph, through the entire trip). So all you are doing is saving a lousy 5 minutes or less... most probably less! Believe me, it is not worth putting yourself and other people on the road in danger.

Update on 12/14/2005: I just got my auto insurance renewal notice. A speeding ticket for driving 20 mph over the limit is costing me $200 more than what I used to pay, for 6 months coverage! And the insurance guy told me that the speeding ticket points will remain on their system for 3 years! So, that ticket might cost me $1200 in addition to the fine! Yet another reason to maintain some sanity while driving.

Update on 12/30/2005: I just went online to pay for my auto insurance renewal. The amount shown there did not have the extra $200, I have mentioned above. In fact, it was lesser than my previous renewal amount.!I called up insurance company to check. They told me that the extra $200 had appeared on the renewal notice by mistake, and the lesser amount shown online is correct. Woohoo!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

To be so... let it be so!

I am starting a new work day right now. So far, I have attended the daily morning meeting, and sent out three work-related emails. I am sitting at my desk now. I should really get started on my work. But my mind is on an article and a story I need to write. I know that I will have a good (if I say so myself) article and story in hand, if I spend the rest of the day writing them. Ah, to be a full-time writer!

It is not every morning that I am in the mood to write something. There are mornings when I just want to get on with my tech job. There are mornings when I wish I could be doing some simple menial job which needs no thinking. There are mornings when I wish I was cooking in a restaurant kitchen. There are mornings when I think I should be on the radio running a talk show for Bangalore. There are mornings when I want to be out travelling. There are mornings when I don't even want to get out of bed. Ah, to be so filthy rich that I could do whatever I wanted with my mornings!

Here's a dream I have had for a long time now. I am putting it out into the Universe for what it's worth: I am a filthy rich writer. I have a few bestsellers against my name which earn royalty every day. I have enough money to live comfortably and travel in style. I spend half the year travelling, meeting people, collecting stories. I spend the other half of the year living in a peaceful country setting, putting those stories to paper. These stories will become bestsellers, earning me more royalty. Once a week or so, I teach at a local college, mentoring, encouraging and setting free impressionable young minds. I have interests, resources and hands in a few other projects - movie productions, tech start-ups, a restaurant. I have a happy, healthy, content and loving family. Ah, to be so... let it be so!

Monday, December 05, 2005

ENTIRE PORN COMPANY FOR SALE !!!

There is an entire porn company for sale on Ebay.com with a starting bid of $100,000!
Here's the link: ENTIRE PORN COMPANY FOR SALE !!!

If I were to buy this outfit, I would not spend any time or resources on the typical run-of-the-mill brainless porn. I would concentrate on:

1. Smart porn: porn with real stories, emotions and aesthetics. As opposed to the kind of porn which seems to be made for retards with no brains.

2. Porn for ladies and couples: most of the porn is made for the average male. A large market for ladies and couples is mostly untapped, I think.

3. Quickie Porn for handhelds: A set of 1-, 2-, 3- minute clips made exclusive for hand-held gadgets like cell phones, PDA, handhelds. Easily downloadable from my website for a small price. Designed for quickies.

4. Amateur porn: you make, we buy and distribute; on a one-time payment basis or royalty-sharing basis (special cases ONLY). Facial anonymity option available. Facial ONLY!

5. People next door porn: movies with "average-looking" (NOT ugly!) people. Not enhanced and artificial same old pornstar-looking people.

6. Porn-based reality series.

7. Tie-up with a gaming software company to produce porn-based games.

8. Introduce at least one new hottie (never seen before seen in the industry) every year.

I think that should give me a significant edge in the porn business.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Roommate Rules

After a loong time, I have started sharing an apartment with roommates, since this past September. I have come up with the following "Roommate Rules" to help make roommate arrangements an easier experience. Most of them are based on my experiences during the past three months, and from prior roommate experiences as well. Some are based on the experiences I have heard from others. The rest are based on common sense.

Before I list the rules, I would like to say one thing first and foremost: Rules or no rules, finding the right people is the most important thing. It is about people, people, people!

1. All of the following rules shall be discussed, understood and agreed upon in advance.

2. We shall discuss, understand and agree upon in advance practical matters like the lease terms, living arrangements (which room belongs to whom, etc.), lease breakage, etc.

3. I shall have my own room and bathroom. I need my private space.

4. As far as possible, we shall try to maintain the apartment/house as a "home". That includes sharing good company, cordial conversation and meals.

5. There will be no meat or eggs (in direct form) cooked or consumed in the house. Eggs in indirect form - as in cookies, pastries, etc. - are acceptable.

6. All shared areas (living room, kitchen, dining area) shall be immaculately clean at all times. Immaculate also means, "a place for everything and everything in its place!" This is applicable for everything including footwear, CDs, shopping bags, magazines, letters, miscellaneous papers, etc.

7. We shall work out a schedule for equal division of labor for cooking, cleaning, shopping. We shall stick to this schedule without requiring explicit reminders from me. I don't want to remind someone and feel like I am nagging them. We can help each other out during those inevitable times when we cannot stick to the schedule. During such times, we shall give as much advance notice as possible.

8. All monetary accounts for shared expenses shall be meticulously maintained. We shall be accurate and fair, and allow no errors of approximation or "adjustment" in this process.

9. Any shared items (tools, furniture, etc.) shall be returned back to their proper place, immediately after use. We shall not leave them lying around haphazardly.

10. Any left-over food items, shared or otherwise, shall be put in the refrigerator immediately after we finish eating.

11. No food shall be left uncovered on kitchen counters or dining table. There shall be no food pieces or crumbs left lying around on floors, kitchen counters or stove tops.

12. We shall have a clear distinction between cooking items and eating items. Items such as vessels, plates, cups, spoons which are used for cooking, shall never be used to eat with or eat out of. Items with which we eat such as plates, cups, spoons, forks, knives, etc. shall never be used for cooking.

13. There shall be certain spoons, glasses, plates which shall be designated as mine. Nobody shall use them under any circumstances. Roommates are welcome to designate their own personal items.

14. We shall use serving spoons to transfer food to our plates or cups. We shall not do so with our bare hands as much as possible. If touching with bare hands is not avoidable (eg: to pick up a piece of fruit), we shall do so in such a manner that our hands don't touch that remaining pieces. We shall definitely not use our bare hands to break a piece of pakora or any other snack on a common plate, pop half in our mouth and leave the other half on the plate for somebody else!

15. We shall never spit in or wash our mouths in the kitchen sink. We use that sink to wash food items such as vegetables, fruits, etc. We also wash cooking vessels there. It is not proper to spit into that sink. We shall use the sinks in the bathrooms to wash our mouth.

16. There shall be no "borrowing" of each other's items (such as money, blankets, pillows, gadgets) without prior request and permission. Very personal items such as articles of clothing shall never be borrowed or lent. Please let's not even think of asking to borrow them.

17. We shall not mix our laundry. If I have left my clothes in the washer or dryer and the roommate wants to use it, I would appreciate it if he called me to remove them, rather than he removing and dumping them on the dining table.

18. We shall not open each other's mail. We shall avoid listening to each other's voicemail as far as possible.

19. We shall throw trash in the trash can. We shall not let pieces of paper, including used napkins and paper towels, lying all around the house. We shall dispose trash regularly. We shall not leave the filled trash bag right outside our door. We shall take it out of the house, straight to the trash bins.

20. Last, but not least, we shall settle monthly accounts soon after the end of the month, preferably before the fifth of the next month. We shall not wait until the 20th of the next month to pay up what we owe from the previous month!

Update on April 2nd, 2006: Did not like what I have written above? Before you decide to comment, kindly consider the following:
  • I did not just wake up one morning and make up these rules out of thin air. They were born out of necessity. Most of them have been made after something bad happened. Meaning, the rules came out of bad experiences.

  • I don't like or enjoy making up rules, or asking other grown-up adults to follow them. Everytime a rule is broken, it takes more effort and energy for me to correct another grown-up adult, than the effort it would have taken for that adult to simply follow the rule in the first place. So no, I don't enjoy these rules myself.

  • Some of the rules I have listed above may seem extreme. Before you just react to it emotionally, try and imagine the worst possible thing that might happen if that rule was not followed. Then you will realize why it is necessary to have that rule.

  • When two or more guys live together in a house, it can turn into a pig-sty very, very quickly. Now, some guys may not mind living in a pig-sty. I am not one of them. You need proper rules and good practices to ensure that a house is clean and comfortable to live in like humans.

  • Yes, I know that non-vegetarian food can be delicious. Yes, I know that some people don't mind sharing a bathroom. Yes, I know there are all kinds of people in the world with their own preferences, and you have your own preferences too. Similarly, I have my own preferences. So, let's not get into the "you are wrong, I am right" kind of arguments.

  • Remember that while these rules may seem too extreme or outlandish to you, there are people who follow these rules naturally, without anybody telling them. There are people who live like this without any issues. Respect them just as you would expect to be respected yourself.

Now, if you still have something to say, go ahead and comment.