Beware Girls: I am just another guy!

I am just another guy… with the same damn expectations… with the same damn goals, as someone put it. I don't know if I was always like this and am only now realizing it, or if something changed to turn me into just another guy.

I used to be different before. I used to be more innocent and loving, kind and considerate with women and girls. I genuinely respected, admired and loved them. I treated them with a special feeling which was beyond mere desire or chivalry. It was a genuine appreciation of their value and worth as feminine beings, as representations of the goddess, as someone to be pleased and pampered.

I did not treat them as just sex objects. I did not look at them as inferior or weaker humans. I was into feminism - the real, positive, empowering kind - and more aware of it than most women I knew personally. I was attuned to women's feelings, emotions and aspirations, to their pains, fears and doubts. I was deeply affected when I saw them suffer. I sincerely believed that every woman who comes into my life should have positive experiences. There used to be a time when almost all the girls who knew me thought of me as a different guy, as the "better than others" kinda guy. That is how I tried to live.

All that has changed now. Now I am just one more lecherous guy, with loose principles and barely enough smartness to justify almost anything I do as being right. There is no smartness or wisdom in me to know better. The ability to justify that everything I feel or do is right makes me selfish and inconsiderate. Often unyielding and uncompromising.

Women are no longer representatives of the goddess. They are just sex objects to be taken advantage of whichever way I can. Beyond that I barely think about what to do or share with them. Most of the typical feminine characteristics, fears, hesitations, clumsiness bring out mild contempt and resentment, instead of the fond indulgence and affection I used to feel in the past. If the woman has a strong personality or talks too much or is too assertive or looks too good, the contempt and resentment I feel at her feminine wiles, needs and demands is more than mild.

There is anger towards the attitude of the modern women who expect to have all the good things and preferential treatment that women traditionally had on account of simply being women, plus equal rights and privileges as those of men, plus more. There is bitterness towards the ease with which women get attention, admiration, affection, love and sex, simply because they are women, while the average guy does more than his fair share of donkey's work and may not even get a kind word thrown his way.

When a woman is displeased or angry with me, I no longer feel inspired to do much to make her feel better. Instead, I am ready to ignore her and move on. When I don't get enough attention from her, I am even more ready to move on. Contrast that with the olden days when I would have literally worshipped the girl I loved, made her the queen of everything I have, loved, cherished, pleased and pampered her, and been devastated when I learned she did not reciprocate the affection. All that is in the past.

Today, there are only two groups of women who can expect anything good from me:

1. Those who work with me - I am a no non-sense professional. I look at them as just other professionals who help get the work done. It's only about work. No feelings, no emotions.
2. Those who are in real trouble/pain - I am deeply empathic. When someone is in real trouble/pain, I forget myself and try to do what I can to help them. It's only about them. Not about me or my selfish needs or messed up emotions. So, they are safe.

Every other woman/girl must beware of me. At this stage in my life, I am not good or right for any woman. Any closeness or close interaction will only result in pain for one or both people. I am not in a place of balance and contentment. I am not in a place of love. Nobody deserves that!