"I apologize for not being as direct as the two previous speakers, but I nevertheless have something to say. I went to a train station today and learned that the distance between railway tracks is always 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8.5 inches. Why this absurd measurement? I asked my girlfriend to find out and this is what she discovered. When they built the first train carriages, they used the same tools as they had for building horse-drawn carriages. And why that distance between the wheels on carriages? Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. And who decided that roads should be that width? Well, suddenly, we are plunged back into the distant past. It was the Romans, the first great road builders, who decided to make their roads that width. And why? Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5 centimeters.
"So the distance between the tracks I saw today, used by our state-of-the-art high-speed trains, was determined by the Romans. When people went to the United States and started building railways there, it didn't occur to them to change the width and so it stayed as it was. This even affected the building of space shuttles. American engineers thought the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were built in Utah and had to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels couldn't take anything wider. And so they had to accept the measurement that the Romans had decided was the ideal. But what has all this to do with marriage?"
I paused. Some people were not in the slightest bit interested in railway tracks and had started talking among themselves. Others were listening attentively, among them Marie and Mikhail.
"It has everything to do with marriage and with the two stories we have just heard. At some point in history, someone turned up and said: When two people get married, they must stay frozen like that for the rest of their lives. You will move along side by side like two tracks, keeping always that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. The rules say: Be sensible, think of the future, think of your children. You can't change, you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don't allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through - it's too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, the same functional nature. your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were - 143.5 centimeters apart. If you're not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into the world.
"Think of your neighbors. Show them that you're happy, eat roast beef on Sundays, watch television, help the community. Think of society. Dress in such a way that everyone knows you're in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.
"Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport - oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. When sport isn't enough, have plastic surgery. But never forget, these rules were established long ago and must be respected. Who established these rules? That doesn't matter. Don't question them, because they will always apply, even if you don't agree with them."
- The Zahir by Paulo Coelho
Dear Libran Lover,
ReplyDeleteI would like to thank you for your beautiful blog.
I stumbled upon your post "Dating an Indian man" when I was searching for tips about having an Indian boyfriend, and it gave me very useful hints. So, I started to flip through the rest of your blog, and it's amazing how much I have learned from it. I found very interesting the posts with examples drawn out by Hinduism and the ones in which you reported real life cases that involves Indian people. I was surprise by how close to Christianity was your thought about the fact that everybody deserves love. And I really liked the post "Insects, flowers and love". In that post you were writing:"The flowers are separated by distance and cannot really travel to one another. Yet, they manage to establish a connection, to share something special, to love, to mate and to help the "world live". They accomplish this without even leaving their places. Is that possible for our hearts? Can we love despite being separated by distances of any kind (geographic, mental, etc)?"
Well, my boyfriend and I are exactly like two flowers that keep trying to stay connected in some way, even if the wind blows them apart.
Let me share my story with you: I'm in love with an Indian guy that lives in the States, he is the most respectful, sincere and trustworthy guy I have ever met. We have a very similar character despite the fact of having grown up in two very different countries (I'm European), therefore having different religion, culture and language. At first it was quite difficult for me to understand some of his behaviors, like being sometimes very frank and insensitive, or reluctant to physical contact (especially in public), or like speaking every time of how expensive are things in the US or making a lot of question in a row. The most unbelievable thing was when I understood I was the first girl he had been dating in his whole life! Up till now I have tried and read the more I can about relationships with Indian guys, so I have been able to understand that a lot of behaviors that can seem odd for a Westerner can be regarded as normal in his culture. I hope to get to understand him better and better.
Now we are thousands miles apart because, after being in the US, where we met, I had to relocate again to Europe. We are not committed, but I hope that there will be some chance for us to stay together in the future.
Thanks again for your blog and keep up the good work!
Claire