Coping with love loss

Posted on November 22, 2004 15:16 PM EST

Coping with love loss (not in any particular order):

I wrote this months ago, responding to somebody on Sulekha Coffeehouse who was going through a love loss. This will work even for others who have not really lost love, but just want to be momentarily distracted from the aches and pains that love brings at times. I was responding to a female poster, so this list is oriented that way. If you are male, I am sure you can customize it to suit your particlar preferences.

Good luck! May you get the peace and love you desire and deserve. Here's the list:

1. Give in to the emotions. Scream, cry, moan, rant. Feel the emotions run through you. Don't resist emotions. Emotion = energy in motion. Moving energy = healthy energy.

2. Listen to the countless sad songs from Indian movies - old to new.

3. Take the opportunity to pamper yourself with an expensive gift - something you have wanted for a long time, but did not dare spend so much on.

4. Go to parties. Throw a party yourself.

5. Get slammed with alcohol, grass. Do it with close friends. Have a great time laughing silly, crying silly, bad-mouthing him silly, throwing up silly, hangingover silly. Please don't drink and drive, though.

6. Get great books and movies. Everytime you find yourself thinking of him... pull up the book or movie to immerse yourself into it.

7. Go on a road trip, package tour, long hike.

8. Wander aimlessly around town - walking or driving.

9. Have a whirlwind affair or two. Just be careful not to break your heart again during this affair or break somebody else's heart. You would be surprised what magic the attentions of a new person can do to your mood and ego.

10. Have a ton of chocolates of different type deposited all around the house. Eat them whenever the blues strike. Just don't become a chocolate addict or become overweight.

11. If you are overweight use the anger and emotions to work out the weight. If you are underweight, use the chocolates and other rich food to put on some weight. If you are medium weight, go around showing it off in expensive, flattering clothes.

12. Write your love story in a journal, in a letter, as a "fictional" story.

13. Spend endless hours chatting online, telling your love story to anybody who will listen.

14. Pick a fight with online guys, then breakdown and tell them your sob story, allow them to comfort you.

15. Write blue poems.

16. Spend time with animals, children.

17. Get a new hair-style, get a manicure, get a pedicure, get a facial, get a long pampering massage.

18. Write letters to him. Don't send them to him. Tear them up and burn them. Or keep them for posterity.

19. Visit old friends and teachers and neighbors you have not seen in a long, long time.

20. Smile at strangers, talk to strangers - old, young, kids, all genders. You would be surprised how much power you have as a woman to make people feel good simply by smiling and talking to them. And their good feeling will not fail to flow back to you.

21. Cook up a storm. Try new recipes. Make paapads and sandige (in Kannada) / vattals (in Tamil) and pickles for the whole year. Make cookies for everyone you know. Make chaats for your family.

22. Be a total b1tch to anyone you come across until someone slaps you or you have had enough yourself.

23. Redecorate your house. Redo your garden.

24. Go window shopping.

25. Do volunteer work.

26. Visit old childhood haunts, or places you hung around with him.

27. Spend as much time with your family as possible. If you have pampering grandparents or uncles/aunts, take a vacation staying over with them.

28. Cry yourself off to sleep. But don't cry soon as you wake up.

29. If all of the above fails, talk to me. I am very empathic and understanding. I am good at helping people feel comforted and better. ;-)

30. Pay me for the last 45 minutes or so I spent typing out these suggestions at work! Pay me in cash or at least in smiles.