Warning: If yuck makes you puke, read no further. You have been warned.
Of all the places on the body, the ass or its vicinity is the worst place to get a pimple on. I know a pimple on the face can be an inconvenience before a hot date or interview or meeting or presentation, but a pimple on the ass can be a real pain in the... well, the ass! Depending on location and size, it can make normal everyday life hell for you. You can't sit comfortably and work, you can't sit comfortably and watch a movie or have dinner, you can't sit or squat for the Big Job in the toilet and you might not even be able to sleep in a comfortable, accustomed position on your back or side.
Believe me. I know. I have had a very bothersome pimple off and on for the past... oh my god, 5 years! Really? So long? Wow! My oldest memory of it is from my first visit to the US (in 2000), when a girl friend (not girlfriend) tried to burst it during a massage. But I digress...
Yes, I have had this one off and on for the past 5 years. And it is not even exactly on my ass. It is right in the center of my back, on the end of my spine, just where my back ends and ass begins, exactly on the border. It is the spot I have christened the P-Spot*!
I don't know how I got the pimple there first. I always blame one of my many unhealthy seating postures. Although you try to get up and walk around visiting co-workers, going to meetings, eating out, etc. on the average work day, spending considerable amount of time with your ass parked on a chair, in front of the computer, does lead to many unhealthy seating postures. One or more of these postures must cause the center of my back, the end of my spine, the exact border between my back and my butt, my P-Spot, to rub against the chair, and this might have caused some under the skin or over the skin trauma, which led to the first pimple. Long story short, once every 3 months or 6 months or 9 months, I get a pimple on that spot with which you are very familiar by now, the P-Spot.
The size of the swelling might be as small as a mustard seed or as big as a quarter (American 25-cent coin). When it is small, I may not even be consciously aware of it. It might only announce its presence with an unexpected spike of pain up my back, when I am in the shower, and I accidentally rub it when scrubbing my back. But when it is as big as a quarter, it is a bitch, a real bitch, I tell you! This happened once a few months ago and it happened again during the past 2-3 days. Although it is less painful right now and probably a little smaller than the last quarter-size appearance, the pain has been pretty bad both times. So bad in fact that, I have had a low fever because of the pain. No kidding!
It appears as big as a quarter, only when I look at it in the mirror. Otherwise, it feels like it is bigger - somewhere between the size of a golf ball and a tennis ball! And seems to weigh as much as the latter. Imagine such a ball embedded under your skin, right on the spot with which you are very familiar by now! It feels as if my waist-size has increased by 2-3 inches. It is not really that much, but it feels like it. The result is that the waist-band of my pants and my belt press right down on the pimple, making it whine all day like a bitch, sending vibes of pain radiating in expanding circles out from the P-Spot. And if I do anything like go from standing position to sitting position, or bend, or turn my body, just anything to stretch the skin over the swelling even a little bit, the whine turns into a howl and the pain radiates out from the P-Spot to all parts of my body like a tsunami wave!
Have I not showed it to a doctor yet? I have. In 2001 or 2002, when I was back in India. I visited a general physician who had one look at it and said it might need surgery and I should go see a specialist. I did not believe him. Surgery? For a mere pimple on the ass... I mean, the P-Spot? No way! The pimple disappeared after that and I came back to the US. Since then the pimple has been visiting me sometimes after a 3-month break, sometimes after 6- to 9-month hiatus. After each brief visit it disappears and I think it will not return again, but it does. It certainly does. And it is so easy to put-off visits to the doctor out of sheer laziness and also out of hesitation that this might really need surgery. I live alone, in this strange country, with no family at all here. What if this needs surgery and someone needs to take care of me? Friends? No way! I don't want to bother friends for the matter of a pimple! Fortunately, I will be going to India soon. This time I am determined to have it cured once and for all!
Meanwhile, whenever the pimple makes its full 25-cent-size appearance, I walk around as if I am pregnant. It's true. I have seen full-pregnant women walk around, adjusting their posture and walking style and stride to the additional size and weight, taking deep or short breaths, easing themselves onto a chair or bed slowly and carefully. That is how I am with this pimple on my P-Spot. Pregnant with a pimple!
*P-Spot: You probably thought that spot on the center of the back, at the end of the spine, right on the border between the back and the ass, has been christened as the P-Spot by yours truly because of the pimple. Actually, no. The name, to that unfortunate spot, has a more aesthetic background. Years ago, I had a friend for whom that spot was an extremely erogenous zone. She really enjoyed being pleasured there. And her name starts with a P. That, dear readers, is the sentiment which led me to call it the P-Spot!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Join the pimples-in-privates club.:)
ReplyDeleteHope this cumbersome one gets cured though.Try the Arya Vaidya Pharmacy..they're good.For most people anyway.
One of my first P-movies was a girl with a earring near her G-spot. Imagine how uncomfortable that felt.
ReplyDeleteyour post reminded me the ear surgery i went through couple of months back all by myself
ReplyDeletewas in hospital for 2 complete days. they treat you here so well that u dont feel u need anybody near. somehow I do not have good opinion abt doctors in india, so had to get it done here
so much f[p]uss about a pimple??!!
ReplyDeletegee, i think my comment has more gross factor than the blog!! but really, I want to empathize, but trying to find the right words for it.
I will post it if and when I find them. Till then I wish you phast and phull recovery!! this 'p' pheeling is just not leaving me..
gross my ass...i feared the p-spot might be some kind of a reference to sir johnson...that was lame...:-)))
ReplyDeletekidding aside, maria's advice sounds sound as well as medical...:-)
He doesn't have a pimple. He has a pilonidal cyst. Yes, that's what it's called. Look it up. That's why the doctors were telling him to get surgery. Idiot!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the concern, Anonymous. You are right. It was a pilonidal cyst. I had the surgery almost two and half years ago, and am doing very well now.
ReplyDeleteHi Libran Lover, i was searching the net for Pilonidal cyst & found ur blog. I have the same problem that u had. I just wanted to know if the surgery was painful or not.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteYour question is hard to answer. The level of pain and discomfort depends so much on your individual case: how big/deep is the cyst, where exactly is it located, do you have just one cyst or multiple cysts, how long have you had this? All these factors play a part in determining what type of surgery you will have, how painful / uncomfortable your recovery will be.
The surgery can range all the way from a simple outpatient procedure to a full-fledged cut-and-stitch operation with general anesthesia (I had to go through the latter). Also, the surgeon may or may not stitch up your surgical wound. S/he might decide to not stitch it and just dress it up, letting it heal and close itself in its own time. That decision depends on various factors that your surgeon can tell you about.
And, when we are talking of the lower back / butt area, the exact location of your surgical wound plays a big role in how uncomfortable it can be. Even one or two inches left or right, up or down, can make a big difference in comfort levels. It can mean the difference between being able to sit, sleep or go to the bathroom comfortably for days or weeks.
In my personal case, there was not too much pain during the surgery. They put me through general anesthesia. The recovery was more uncomfortable than painful. Because of the location of my wound, I could only sit up straight or lay down on my side. I could not sit down and lean back, or lay down on my back. Thankfully, I did not have any issues in the bathroom department. Now that I am past all that, it does not seem so bad in retrospect. But when I was actually recovering, I did feel quite uncomfortable.
But don't worry. The pain of surgery and recovery is much lesser than the pain you might have experienced due to the swelling of the cyst itself. Also, this is more of an external flesh wound type of pain. So, it's not really that bad compared to internal pains or 'chronic' pains.
I hope things work out well and smooth for you. Good luck. And oh, be sure to pay heed to the doctor's advice about preventing this from recurring. That's one thing to really watch out for.
Keep us posted about your experiences with the surgery and recovery. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
LL