Google Agenda is Google Calendar?

Today I got a spam invitation in my Yahoo mailbox, from a Gmail account. The Gmail captcha system was cracked by spammers recently. So, spam mails have started to circulate from Gmail IDs. Anyway, the interesting thing about the spam invite I got was the title 'Google Agenda BETA' at the top. See the screenshot below.



I have normally seen 'Google Calendar BETA' at that spot. Never heard of anything called Google Agenda. And, the text 'Google Agenda BETA' does link to Google Calendar.

So, is Google Calendar also called as Google Agenda? Perhaps in some specific countries? At this time, the URLS agenda.google.com and www.google.com/agenda do not exist.

Vision Quest Tips

About four years ago, a friend asked about tips/advice on undertaking a Vision Quest. This is what I wrote to her:

1. Intent is most important. For a vision quest (as for spellwork), it's the clear intent and focus that will determine the course of the quest and the vision you receive.

2. Clearing and cleaning the space: personal space, surroundings, body, mind, heart and spirit. There are so many different ways of achieving this. Among Native Americans, the sweatlodge ceremony is a very powerful and effective way of cleaning the body, mind, heart and spirit. The ceremony could even be a small vision quest in itself. The purpose of this activity is to make yourself into a suitable vessel/container to receive the vision. Also important to clean and prepare the physical space where you hope to do your quest: casting the circle, creating a medicine wheel are two ways of doing that.

3. Attaining an altered state of consciousness, conducive to receiving the vision. The altered state can be achieved in many ways - non-physical or physical or a combination of both. Non-physical methods include meditation, sleep, dreaming, hypnosis (self or otherwise), etc. Physical methods include physical hardships such as fasting and/or spending solitary time out in the woods, deserts, mountains, etc., power medicines, sweatlodge, etc.

4. Receiving the vision and afterward. It is important to be centered and grounded enough that when the vision comes, you don't break out in a panic or snap out of the trance. It is also important that you are centered and grounded enough that after the trance or vision "has passed", you can assimilate and incorporate it into your system, come safely "back to base" and back to your "normal" lifestyle. Being able to maintain your center and groundedness depends a lot on your preparation and practice prior to the vision quest. Making your system strong and familiarizing your system with mini-visioning rehearsals would help. If you decide to go through physical hardships such as spending time out in the open and/or using power medicines, be sure to have safety nets, companion(s) to support you, backup plan to locate you in the outdoors, administer emergency medical help, etc.

Blessings and best wishes. I hope you find what you want and need, and that which needs you finds you too.

Do NOT Buy from A1wireless & Wirefly

If you are in the market for new cellphones, do not buy from the following websites:

A1Wireless
Wirefly

Both of the above websites are owned by Inphonic Inc, which is now calling itself Simplexity.

If you do a search for Inphonic rebates, you will find that this company is notorious for avoiding the payment of mail-in rebates to its customers. It has even been sued over its bad rebate practices. This was in Nov 2006. In November 2007, the company filed for bankruptcy. But not before it cheated me of $150!

Despite being sued and going bankrupt, the company continues to cheat customers like me out of their rightful rebate money and it continues to remain in business. The laws are not strong enough to protect the customers. When that is the case, the customers should protect themselves. Avoid losing money like I did. Do not buy anything from the two websites run by Inphonic: A1wireless.com and Wirefly.com.

I bought a cell phone from A1wireless.com. They were supposed to pay me $100 and $50 as mail-in rebates. I fullfilled all rebate conditions to the letter. In fact, in early Nov 2007, I was even able to visit their rebate status website and see that my rebate submissions had been checked and approved, and I'd be getting cheques soon. Just a day or two after I checked my status, when I visited the website again, the only thing I could see was a lame message about the company filing for bankruptcy. The message has vague verbiage about some communication going out to customers expecting rebates, but I have received no communication so far. Calling the rebate status phone lines is of no use because they all play the same recorded bankruptcy message similar to the one put up on the rebate site. Calling the sales lines is of no help - you will only get to talk to Indian call center people who pretend to be dumber than donkeys. So far, there has been no cheque or any communication regarding my rebates.

When Inphonic is not fulfilling its mail-in rebate obligations to old customers, how can the company continue to do business, offering similar mail-in rebates to new customers? Like I said before, the law is not protecting the interests of citizens. Don't lose your hard-earned money to these crooks. Do not buy from them. In most cases, you can get the same or similar deals from more reputable sites like Amazon.com Avoid these guys for the frauds they are.

Testosterone & Being a Man

On Saturday, I listened to a fascinating program on NPR radio station about the male hormone testosterone. The piece was an episode of This American Life series produced by Chicago Public Radio.

The segment of the program I found to be most interesting was the experience of Griffin Hansbury, a man who used to be a woman and underwent sex-change. One of the steps in his sex-change process was to get injected with the male hormone testosterone. She - who is now a he - talked about how the increased testosterone levels made her/his view of the world go through a paradigm shift. He describes how much his thought processes when approaching women changed from what they were "before T" to "after T" (his phrases). Griffin used to be a lesbian woman before T, and during those days, when he saw another woman he was attracted to, his mind would go through a whole narrative sequence on how he should approach the woman and get to know her based on her interests and personality. After T, when he saw a woman he felt attracted to, before any coherent thought even had a chance to form, his mind would be flooded with "pronographic images" involving that woman! In other words, he experienced what it is to be a man.

I thought it was very cool that one person could experience sexual attraction as both a woman and a man in one life time. As I listened to his experiences, it hit me that he was able to know what men go through only because of his testosterone treatment, and almost no other woman (except for rare exceptions) will ever know how men really feel about sex, and why we act the way we do.

If just testosterone could cause such a difference in the personality, imagine how much more differences there must be due to all the other things which go into determining our genders. Men and women might belong to the same species as far as biology goes, but in many aspects of psychology, we might as well be totally different animals.

You can listen to the full episode by visiting this page: 220: Testosterone. If you want to listen to just the segment I am commenting about, you may move the slider of the audio player to the 15-min mark and you should be all set.

Five Secrets of Lasting Love as per Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks

While cleaning up emails, found an old forwarded mail about the 'Five Secrets of Lasting Love'. Realized why I had not deleted it soon after I read it: it made a lot of sense. So, here it is, reproduced for your benefit.

Five Secrets of Lasting Love Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D., Excerpt from: Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship (Rodale, Inc., 2004)

Here's the bottom-line truth we discovered from our decades of work with couples in long-term relationships: People can endure long-term relationships in many ways, but they will only thrive if they do five things. In other words, you can grow older with your partner in many ways, but you will only grow closer and more creative through the steady practice of five actions.

We believe these five actions should be taught in every classroom in every school, every day. They most definitely should not be secrets we have to seek or stumble onto by trial and error. Yet they are. Almost none of us begin our love relationships knowing how to do these simple things, and our relationships are disastrous as a consequence.

Let's permanently remove the veil that has covered these secrets and begin a new era of intimacy in close relationships.

The First Secret

If you want a close, vibrant love relationship, you need to become a master of commitment.

We teach couples how to make real commitments to each other. There is an art to commitment, but almost nobody knows how to practice it. The first step of this art is to spot and acknowledge the unconscious commitments that cause us to sabotage the harmony of our close relationships. For example, suppose a politician were to be caught having an adulterous relationship. Imagine how it would change that person's life, as well as the lives of the constituents, if the politician identified and acknowledged his unconscious commitments by saying, "From the evidence, I'm slowly beginning to realize that I'm committed to philandering, sexual betrayal, and lying. I also appear to be committed to getting caught. I'm committed to finding out if people will still like me after they find out I'm a bad boy." In practical reality, the act of claiming ownership of an unconscious commitment changes a troublesome dynamic in a relationship faster than anything else.

The second step of the art of commitment is to make commitments you can stand by. Real commitments can be made only about things you have control over. Real commitments are verifiable. If you make a phony commitment -- such as, "I promise to love you forever" -- you set up an impossible situation by promising an illusion. Nobody can commit to loving someone forever because some days you won't even wake up feeling loving toward yourself. Love is a mystery -- part feeling, part spirit, part mind -- and mysteries by their very nature are outside our control. A real commitment would be to commit to telling your partner the truth about when you're feeling loving and when you're not. This type of commitment saves relationships while turning on the flow of intimacy and creativity.

The Lasting Love program offers a specific set of commitments we've thoroughly tested with many couples. When couples make these commitments, their relationships thrive.

The Second Secret

If you want a long-term relationship that's both close and creatively vital, you have to become emotionally transparent. To go all the way to ultimate closeness and full creative expression, you must eliminate all barriers to speaking and hearing the truth about everything.

We teach couples how to listen to the truth about everything from their partners, and we teach them how to speak the truth about everything to their partners. Everything means everything: feelings, deeds, hopes, dreams. We ask them to consider any hesitation about telling or hearing the unvarnished truth to be a symptom of resistance to greater love and creativity.

We know this move is radical because it produces huge bursts of creative energy in everyone who tries it. As a practice, it has awesome power. As a concept, it quickly polarizes people -- we've seen talk show audiences erupt in cheers and boos when we've said couples need to tell the truth to each other about everything. After twenty-plus years, though, we've still found no exceptions to the truth rule.

The Third Secret

If you want a long-term relationship that's both close and creatively vital, you must break the cycle of blame and criticism -- it's an addiction that saps creative energy as surely as drugs or drink.

We invite couples to turn their relationships into blame-free zones. We teach each partner to take full responsibility for everything that occurs in the relationship, especially if it looks like it's the other person's fault. Radical responsibility -- and the powerful creative energy it unleashes -- comes from catching yourself in the midst of saying, "Why did you do that to me again?" and shifting to, "What am I doing that keeps inviting that behavior?"

We ask couples to go on a strict no-blame diet and stick to it. As a practice, this move liberates tremendous energy. In fact, we've seen life-altering breakthroughs come about when couples simply went one full day without criticizing or blaming each other. As a concept, the idea of giving up blame and criticism is often greeted with derision. "Impossible," some say. "How boring," say others. We have found that it's actually possible and anything but boring. The couple who is deeply addicted to blame and criticism has usually come to mistake the adrenalized drama of conflict for the flow of connection. The idea of life without the adrenalin may seem dull and empty at first, much like a lifelong flagellant must feel that first day without the self-administered whip.

The Fourth Secret

If you want a vibrant long-term relationship -- one in which you feel close as a couple and creative as individuals -- you have to do something radical about your creativity. You have to take your attention away from fixing the other person and put it on expressing your own creativity. Even one hour a week of focusing on your own creativity will produce results. More than that will often produce miracles.

Nothing will sap your vital energy faster than squelching your creativity. Often, couples stifle their individual creativity in order to focus on fixing and changing the other person. Since this seldom produces tangible results, they devote more energy to the other person as a fixer-upper and less to individual creativity. When results are not forthcoming, they complain about the other person to third parties. They enter a dangerous cycle of complaint that has addictive properties -- the more you do it the more things there are to complain about. Ultimately this leads to dissipation of creative energy and inner despair.

By contrast, fully creative people don't have time for complaint. Even if you're not fully engaged in creativity (even, as our research indicates, if you're doing only an hour a week of creative expression), you will see quantum enhancement of vitality within the relationship with every increase in creative self-expression.

The Fifth Secret

If you want to create vital, long-lasting love, you must become a master of verbal and nonverbal appreciation.

We teach couples how to appreciate each other spontaneously and frequently. Although this may sound like a simple thing, it most definitely is not. In fact, it's the last thing we teach in the program because it's the hardest to learn. To utter a clear, heartfelt appreciation to another person is radical partly because it's so rare. To receive such an appreciation from another person is equally challenging. Most of us have never seen or heard a rich flow of spoken appreciations in relationships. In fact, many people cannot recall a single instance of clear appreciation in their families of origin.

The simple solution is to speak a heartfelt ten-second appreciation to the other person, for no reasons other than to signify a commitment to appreciation and to open the flow of appreciation. In other words, the spoken appreciation is not to get a particular result from the other person. In reality, it produces powerful results very quickly, but it is important that the appreciation not be spoken as a manipulation or in expectation of a reward.

We teach couples how to say simple and complex appreciations, ranging from "I like the way you did your hair today" to "Throughout our lives together, I have been repeatedly amazed by how generous you are." Although most couples can learn the art in an hour, they tell us that it takes the better part of a year's daily practice to savor its full value.

These five secrets have a revolutionary effect on any relationship in which they're practiced. The five secrets move people quickly through the stuck places so that they can enjoy the profound beauty of genuine love. We will have a great deal more to show you about these five secrets when we explore them in the chapters to come. First, though, let's go a little deeper, into what we mean by genuine love.

Reprinted from: Lasting Love: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship, by Gay Hendricks, Ph.D. and Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D. © 2004 by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098.

Source: http://www.lifechallenges.org/door/Gay_Hendricks.html

Happy New Year 2008 - Google Hindu Calendar updated

Wishing a very happy, healthy and successful new year to all my readers.

I have updated the Google Hindu Calendar with all the important Hindu festivals and events for 2008. In addition, this calendar includes the year and months from the Hindu calendar, new moon (amAvAsya), full moon (paurNami) and ekAdashi (11th day of the lunar fortnight) information.

If you have a Google account, you can add this Google Hindu Calendar to your personal Google Calendar using this link: Add Google Hindu Calendar.

To simply view the calendar in your web browser using this link: View Google Hindu Calendar.

If you find any errors or issues with the calendar, please leave a comment here.

Once again, best wishes for the new year.

Suggestions for Bangalore Metro Rail

I recently came across an article which said that the Bangalore Metro Rail is soliciting suggestions from the general public for the train station design. I sent them the following suggestions. You too can email them your suggestions: bmrcl@dataone.in.

Suggestions for the train stations:

• Please design every train station so that people are encouraged to follow queue system. This is especially necessary for buying tickets.


• Please install 2 to 4 automatic ticket vending machines at every station. These machines should be able to accept cash and credit cards.


• Please encourage local artists & poets to design decorations for the stations. They can design benches, shades, wall decorations, posters with short poems, etc. Please don't cover every available part of the station with commercial advertisements only.


• Please also design major stations to have LCD screens which show:
  1. Train and bus time-tables.
  2. A dynamic map of Bangalore (similar to Google maps) showing the location of all trains and major buses in real time, using GPS technology.


• Please install security cameras at all the railway stations. These cameras should record 24 X 7. Recordings more than one week old can be erased.


• Please also design 'park and ride' type of train stations, especially near out-lying areas. These should be stations which provide ample and secure parking place for people to park their vehicles there and use the train to commute. If necessary, these parking areas can be restricted to people who use the train daily - employed people and students.

Suggestions for the trains themselves:

• Please install security cameras INSIDE the train compartments. These cameras should also record 24X7. Impose strict fines and penalties on anybody who damages or defaces train property.


• Please design a maintenance center where EVERY train compartment will be washed and cleaned EVERYDAY, both INSIDE and OUTSIDE. Please don't allow the compartments to gather dirt like the Indian railways trains.

I hope Bangalore Metro Rail Corporation is seriously looking into these and similar suggestions from the general public. I hope at least a few of these will be implemented.

Wipro BPO's employee in Pune is raped and murdered

Came across a gruesome piece of news this evening. Not able to get it out of my head.


Edited on 12/13/2012 with the following note: The original version of this article contained partial quotes from the below linked articles with proper link attribution. I consider this fair-use and not scraped content as defined by Google. Yet, Google informed me that this violates their policies. Therefore, I removed the quoted portions of the articles. You can read the full articles from the links below.


Wipro staffer raped, killed in Yahoo! News

BPO shocker exposes lapses in Telegraph India

Wipro cabbie not new to crime, say cops in Times of India

BPO cabbies' profiles not checked in Times of India

This news is particularly chilling for us (myself and thousands of other Indians) because we have female siblings, relatives and friends who work in Indian tech industry, travelling at odd hours in cabs and rickshaws. Just like the boyfriend of the victim in this latest incident, we have been on the phone with our relatives and friends, while they travelled to or from their offices at odd hours. It is all too easy to imagine the worst happening to our near and dear ones...

It is not just the female employees who are in danger. Just this morning, I read several reports of male employees of tech companies in Bengalooru being assualted, kidnapped and murdered for their money. Some of these incidents involved crimbes by drivers of cabs for the companies of the victims.

In Dec 2005, when writing about another rape and murder incident of a BPO employee in Bangalore, I had quoted Wipro's measures to ensure the safety of their employees as a good example of what should be done. Ironically, this latest incident has happened despite those measures being in place. Rules and processes are only as good as how well they are practiced.

Being a tech industry insider I know that not all rules and processes are followed - this includes even the processes that are part of our core work. Over a period of time, things become lax, omissions and errors creep in. Every company's management is aware of this. As such, Wipro (and other companies) should have more stringent reviews and audits in place to ensure that the rules which affect the physical security of their employees should be practiced with no lapses.

I know that the rules governing the security of the office locations, gates, access to certain areas, cameras inside the office, etc. are very stringently practiced in Wipro. So, it is difficult to understand how in the matter of employee's physical safety, there could have "been a criminal manipulation of our processes", as admitted by T K Kurien, Wipro BPO's president himself.

But I am not blaming the company alone. Every individual also has a responsibility to be extra vigilant and take precautions for personal safety. The lamentable and ineffective state of law enforcement and judicial system in India makes criminals incredibly brazen, almost to the point of being stupid. Yet, they get away with their crimes more often than not, which is what makes them so brazen and reckless. In such an atmosphere nobody can afford to be careless when it comes to personal safety.

The perpetrators of this crime should get the most stringent punishment and hope they get it soon. The criminal of the 2005 rape and murder case in Bengalooru I referred to earlier, has still not been sentenced, while the trial proceedings drag on. This despite that case being pursued in a 'fast track' manner by the court system!

Hopefully, this incident makes everyone extra vigilant.

Do engineers in Google India work in pairs?

I have a theory that Google's engineers in India mostly work in pairs. You know, like how soldiers or cops in certain units usually work in pairs. I think each Indian Google engineer is paired with a colleague and together they work on tasks/assignments.

Why do I suspect this? I have been following the Official Google Blog for a long time now. I have noticed that posts by Indian engineers are usually attributed to two individuals. I have very rarely seen non-Indian Googlers authoring blog posts in pairs. Non-Indian Googlers almost always write blog posts alone, as individuals.

As of today, a quick Reader search of the Official Google blog's feed for the word 'India' returns 15 posts, of which 7 posts are made by people with Indian-sounding names. Of these 7 posts, 4 posts are made by pairs of Indians and 3 posts by lone Indians. I realize that this is not the most accurate way to count and analyze the posts. But I could not find an easier way to search (any suggestions?) for:
1. Only posts made by Indians.
2. Only posts made by more than one author.

There do exist posts by Indian Googlers writing alone. But it is just as likely to see an Indian Googler posting along with another Indian colleague. And like I said earlier, it is very rare to see non-Indian Googlers writing blog posts in pairs. So, I suspect that the Indian engineers work on projects in pairs, and then end up writing about those projects on the official blog, also in pairs.

If you work for Google in India (or even in other Google locations) or if you know someone who works for Google India, would you confirm if my suspicion is true? If it is true, then why is it so? Why do only Indian engineers in Google work in pairs and not others?

Pssst... The chances of hearing from someone at Google in response to speculative posts about internal stuff is none to zero. So, non-Googlers too feel free to speculate in the comments! :-)

To love a girl...

To love a girl...

• Is to see the picture of a beautiful place and immediately think of your girl because:
  a. You want to share the beauty of the picture with her.
  b. You want to visit the place with her.


• Is to find yourself putting up with an inconvenient situation, and thinking that, "If my girl was with me in this situation, I would not put up with it. I would change it at once so that she would not have to go through this inconvenience!"


• Is to be casually looking at cell phones for sale online, and then unconsciously picking and choosing handsets and plans for your girl, for the time "when she will be here."


• Is for your girl to be the last person you think of when you fall asleep, and the first person you think of when you wake up, no matter what the time to sleep or wake up is.


• Is to accept & assume without a second thought that you will start drinking coffee daily when your coffee-drinking girl is with you, although you are not a habitual coffee drinker, and have infact resisted picking up the habit until now.


• Is to decide that you will never drink and drive when she is with you, for the sake of her safety. And, not even when she is not with you, to save her the bother of you getting in trouble. You were the guy who never before hesitated to drive after a drink or two!


• Is to know simply and undeniably, without a sliver of doubt, that the celestial maiden Menaka herself would not be able to tempt you right now, if she were to appear in front of you, because you are committed to your girl.


• To be in a state of tense desperation, due to circumstances, yet showing a cool & quiet face to your girl, because you don't want her to feel pressurized or disturbed.


• Is for every cell of your being, your heart to want her to be close to you, yet you hold back on expressing any want because she needs time and space.


• Is to be a hard ass, a bad ass, even an asshole to the rest of the world, but to be a docile donkey to your girl, cuz you don't like to see her upset.


• Is to run out of ideas and energy when she is not in your life, but to be full of inspiration and prolific creativity when she is there with you.


• Is to want to be totally generous with her and not hold anything back.


• Is to prepare your furnitures, home, heart and all your immediate surroundings with her in mind, although she is thousands of miles away; to infuse the landscape you live in with thoughts of her, so that it reminds you of her and makes you miss her... although she has never seen that landscape herself.

PS: The above sentiments were recorded at different times in late June and early July 2007... except for the last point, which was expressed more recently.

Double-tailed Lizard

See anything unusual about the lizard in the above picture? Yes, it is a double-tailed lizard! The end of its tail is split in two. In fact, the longer of the two split ends is growing another tiny branch. So, this lizard could be triple-tailed pretty soon.

I saw this lizard in my dentist's office in Bengalooru and clicked the photo on my Blackberry. Hence, the bad photo quality. Incidentally, this type of lizards are pretty common in Indian homes and shops, although I have never seen a double-tailed one before. They are pretty harmless to humans, and in fact, help by eating up insects.

Symbiosis: Monkey & Goat

Noticed this interesting sight during a recent visit to Chilkur, near Hyderabad, in Andhra Pradesh, India. There were a few goats lounging around, and this monkey coolly walked upto one of them and settled down comfortably in close contact. I watched in surprise and amusement as the monkey proceeded to pick ticks and fleas from the goat's coat and pop 'em in its mouth, while the goat continued to rest quite undisturbed!

21 Tips to my 21-year-old Self

I will be 31 very soon. If I could go back 10 years and meet my 21-year-old self, what advice would I impart to him based on the past 10 years of my life? The following for sure:

1. True love is built over a period of time, by two people who reciprocate the feelings and share many experiences together, both good and bad. That kind of relationship is worth your heart-break and heart-ache, if it does not eventually work out. A relationship in which you are the only person who is in love, while the other person does not reciprocate similar feelings, is not love in its true, real sense. It is just infatuation. Even if your feelings are extremely intense, sincere and earnest, it is still just infatuation. It is okay to feel a little disappointed and sad if such a one-way infatuation does not pan out, but it is certainly not worth your heart-break and heart-ache.


2. Even if the person reciprocates your feelings of sincere infatuation and affection, in their own way, but the two of you don't actually have a relationship, don't even call each other lovers or partners, don't spend time together, sharing the good things and the bad things which life has to offer, then it is not a true love relationship. It is just a two-way infatuation. If this does not turn into a true relationship, there is still no need to go through overwhelming heart-ache and heart-break. A little more disappointment and sadness is alright.


3. Never take more than three steps closer to someone you are interested in, without them reciprocating. In fact, the ideal situation is where both of you simultaneously, or at least alternatively, move closer towards each other taking one equal step at a time. But life is rarely ideal. You being a man, there will be many occasions when you have to take a few more steps closer to a woman, before she will take one step closer to you. Never let these 'few more steps' exceed three steps at any point of time. This is especially important at the beginning of the relationship when you barely know the woman. Don't throw yourself at her and pursue her unless she shows suitable interest and reciprocation. Of course, later on, when the loving partnership is steadily and firmly established, throw these calculations out the window and be totally generous and uncalculative with your beloved.


4. Women who don't express an interest in you during those first three steps, will almost never become interested in you later on. There seems to be an antenna in men and women, especially so in women, which subconsciously tells them very early on, whether they might pursue a relationship with someone. So, don't spend a lot of time and energy taking more than three steps towards someone who does not want to take even one step towards you. Don't think that you will not find love unless you work hard and take a lot of steps towards a lot of women. You don't need to. Repeat: YOU DON'T NEED TO.


5. You will come across women who will admire you and love you, simply for who you are, just for the way you normally live, talk and behave. With the woman who is right for you, you don't have to do anything different or extra, or put in a lot of hardwork and pain to make things work. Things will just work out naturally. All that you need to do is be yourself. Being yourself should include being sincere, being truthful, being clean and nice.


6. When a woman is interested in you, she will let you know. If she admires you or loves you, you will know. If she wants a relationship with you, that will become obvious to you soon enough. So, never ever deceive yourself with thoughts such as: "May be she will become interested in me, if I do this or that"; "May be she is interested in me, but just does not realize it herself"; "May be she wants me, but is simply not showing it"; "May be if I can convince her or just work a little harder, I can win her over"; etc.


7. You are smart, handsome, loving and love-able. There will be many women who think so. Even if you don't hear it from them aloud, you are all those things. So, don't pursue women, desperately seeking your own self-validation. Don't think that you are not handsome or love-able, just because someone you are infatuated with does not reciprocate your feelings. Don't think you are not all these things just because you don't have a girlfriend or a partner yet. There will be women who think you are all these and more, and who will love you for who you are. And, insha-allah, you will have that partner, who is right and perfect for you, who will admire and deserve all your good qualities, and will let you know that in no uncertain terms.


8. Value yourself, your personality, your feelings, your talents, your body. Do not throw them without restraint at every potential love interest. Remember that at the wooing stage, the more easily something is available, the less its perceived value is. By offering things to those who may not want it or seek it on their own, you are only devaluing those things. Don't spend a lot of time, energy and feelings in relationships which don't go anywhere either, or with people who you know will never be your long-term permanent lover-partner. In fact, don't spend any time or energy doing 'romantic' things with such people. Doing this also means de-valuing yourself. It is like throwing your highly valuable personal love into the trash can. You are wasting and throwing away something which actually belongs to your true love. Protect yourself, your time, your feelings, your energy. Keep them safe for the true love who will come into your life. Guard these things jealously for her.


9. Protect your virginity for your true love. It is okay to have pre-marital monogamous sex with your lover-partner, the person with whom you have a true, full-fledged (meaning steady and long-term sharing of life), loving relationship. It is definitely not okay with anybody else. Casual sex might be okay in theory, it might be okay for others. But it is not okay for you. It is an unclean and unhealthy food which won't suit your system nor your long-term health. Worse, it is addictive food; it will weaken your soul, and will cause considerable pain and drain on your emotions like all addictions. Just don't do it, regardless of the opportunities and temptations. You will regret if you do it. You will wish that you could go back in time and re-live your life, without letting yourself get into casual sex. Protect yourself.


10. Just as you have a responsibility to protect yourself, you also have a responsibility to protect other people whose paths will cross yours. Just as you might have weak moments in love and passion, they will too. Just as you will feel hurt and regret when things don't work out, they will too. Protect these nice people who come into your life, whose only mistake (if it can be called that) is to love you, admire you and care for you. Protect them from the hurt that you will cause them or they will cause to themselves. Be especially wary of hurting these nice people in the long-term, while you try to avoid short-term hurt. This is a trap you will fall into repeatedly because you want to be nice to these nice people. Nice is okay. But, be totally honest, open and truthful with them, even if hurts them (and you) in the short term. They will be protected in the long-term. They will admire you for your courage and integrity, if you do that.


11. This needs repeating again: You don't need to do anything to find true love. Just be yourself. Be nice, be clean and truthful, be sincere, be healthy, and above all, be happy and patient. Take all that time and energy you will put into romance and love, and put it into your career, education, hobbies and other interests, into social activities, into smiling. True love will find its way to you on its own. You don't need to do anything else.


12. After that typical Libran Lover brand long lecture about love and romance, let's turn to your career. You will get into a software job. That means, you will have opportunities to go abroad. That means, you need a passport. For god's sake go get it done AT ONCE. Don't be the fool who runs from once government office to another, dragging your father and uncle with you, when opportunity comes knocking and you need a passport in a hurry. Just get it done IMMEDIATELY.


13. The very first time you come to the US, you will want to stay here long-term. Only you won't define what long-term is. You will have some vague notion in your head of long-term being "at least two years or more". Well, guess what, you are going to end up staying here for well over six years. Incredibly, you will spend almost 5 of those years, without actually taking any concrete steps to build the right foundation for a career and for visa/greencard processing, which will both help you stay here for the long term! You will just spend those 5 years with your head buried in the sand of a dead-end job. It will be FIVE long years of no pay increments, while the company's stupid policies will bring in new, junior people who will work under you for higher pay, and the prospect of your work visa expiring at the end of 6 years, which will finally get your ass moving. Do yourself a favor, and start doing something at least at the end of your second year in the US.


14. It won't help your career to be a jack of all trades, and master of none. You will spend much of your career in roles which will give you good exposure to a lot of different things, but just not enough mastery or authority on any one thing. It is an undeniable reality in life that great performers even if it is in lesser jobs get more recognition and satisfaction, than average performers in bigger jobs. The best way to grow in a career is to consistently be a great performer, going from smaller to bigger roles.


15. If you want something in your career, just go get it. This is the exact opposite of the love advice, where you just have to be yourself and love will come to you. In the realm of the career, waiting for things to come to you, or for the company or your boss to give you what you want, will never work. You just have to get it yourself... even if it means quitting the job and getting a different one. Just be clear about what it is exactly that you want, then go get it.


16. Never spend more than 1 hour at work, browsing the Internet for news and technological developments. Make every one of the other 7 hours count for productive work or directly work-related knowledge gain.


17. Don't buy that house in early 2006. Wait until late 2007, when the real estate market in the US is even more in the doldrums, and it becomes a buyer's market with a lot more inventory waiting to be sold. And, don't buy the house until you can make 20% down payment. 10% is just not good enough.


18. Get all the features you want the house to have, right when you buy it. Don't let others talk you into thinking that you can add extra features (like tiled floor rather than the carpet) later on. The "later on" might never come.


19. Buy real tangible gifts for your parents and other family members. Avoid giving them money to buy what they want. They usually won't buy anything. One fine day, you will realize that you have been working for 10 years and not bought a single real gift to your parents, despite sending money for birthdays and such!


20. Don't stop hiking when your regular hiking partners stop. You will find that a year or more has passed by without you hiking a single time, and you are out of shape! Shameful. Get out and hike by yourself, or find new hiking friends and groups. There are plenty out there.


21. Smile more. Don't be lost in your own world when people are around you. Take more interest in them, socialize more.

Singapore Sling

I had four of this drink called Singapore Sling, on the Singapore Airlines flights from Los Angeles to India, this past weekend! I remember tasting it once before on a Singapore Airlines flight, but this time it really got to me. It is sweet, fruity, with not too strong alcoholic content.

Here's what the in-flight menu said about the yummy Singapore Sling:

Created in 1915 at the Long Bar of Singapore's Raffles Hotel. A concoction of dry gin, Dom Benedictine Cointreau and cherry brandy, shaken up with lime and pineapple juice, with a dash of Angostura bitters and Grenadine.

Webtender.com returns several recipes for the Singapore Sling search. But apparently, the above description is the Genuine Singapore Sling.

Apparently, this drink is popular with the other passengers as well. They had it pre-mixed in a pitcher on the food carts!

Kisi Nazar Ko Tera - The Audio

Kisi Nazar Ko Tera (mp3)

This is my own rendering of the melodious song from the movie Aitbar, originally sung by Bhupinder and Asha Bhonsle.

Lyrics here.

Warnings for New Vegetarians in America

When vegetarian Indians come to the US, at first, most of them do not venture out to try the non-Indian food which is available in abundant variety here. The predominance of meat and meat-based items in menus everywhere does not encourage us to get adventurous. In fact, even many non-vegetarian Indians live in the US for a long time (years in some cases!) without sampling most of the non-Indian cuisines.

The first two times I came to the US were for 3-month visits during which, I lived with Indian roommates and we cooked at home. The few times I ate outside during these visits, I had vegetarian food from only Indian restaurants. Except may be, "burger with no meat" from McD's on a couple of occasions.

My third visit to the US was long term (I've still not returned almost 6 years later!). This time, I started to live alone. The combination of lethargy and lack of enthusiasm to cook alone, just for myself, caused me to eat out a lot more often. For the first 6 - 7 months of my third visit, I tried almost exclusively non-Indian food whenever I ate outside, which was pretty much everyday for lunch! This, despite my being a pure vegetarian - during those days, I even avoided stuff like pastries and cookies, which have eggs in them!

The point of this long-winded introduction is that, yes, it is definitely possible for vegetarians in the US to find a variety of eating choices, outside the home. Certainly not as many choices as non-vegetarians (especially those who don't mind eating pigs and cows) have, but the choices are still there. You just need to know what to look for, where and how to order. Nevertheless, during my 6 years of vegetarian life in the US, despite being very careful, there have been occasions when I have discovered that there were animal pieces/products in the food I was eating or had already eaten. It is hard to describe the awful feeling of personal violation I felt during those times.

The following is not only a rant about those occasions when I learnt that the 'vegetarian' food I ate contained animal products, I hope this will also serve as a warning for other vegetarians to know what to avoid or be careful about.

• Contradictory Disclaimer: If you want to strictly avoid accidental ingestion of animal products while living in the US, the only solution is to make all your food at home, preferably from scratch and read very, very carefully, all the ingredients which go into making the few packaged food stuff you might buy. Or, if you cannot avoid eating outside, eat only raw fruits and vegetables, preferably cut with your own knife, without any type of dressing. Or, you might get lucky and find a vegan restaurant with highly enlightened and principled people running it. This might sound like a contradiction of what I wrote above about having vegetarian choices to eat outside in the US, but this is also the reality.



• Non-vegetarian by accident: If you go to any restaurant which serves meat or meat-based food, accidental introduction of meat particles into your order might happen at some time or the other. This is true of Indian restaurants also. I have come across pieces of meat in what was supposed to be "vegetarian biriyani" at an Indian restaurant. On another occasion, I found a small piece of meat in the refried beans that filled my Taco Bell "chalupa with no meat".



• Non-vegetarian by association: Even if the actual piece of meat does not end up in your order, the cutlery, utensils and hands would have handled meat before handling your vegetarian food. For example, in Subway, they use the same knife to cut every sandwich that needs to be cut. I mentioned Subway as just a random example. This point applies to most other restaurants.



• Vegetarian by customizing: There are restaurants where you can take a meat-based dish from their menu, and order it customized for you, "with no meat". In Taco Bell, for example, you can order almost any dish on their menu and ask them to leave out the meat. Recently, I visited a Thai restaurant which had a note at the bottom of the menu saying that they could make any dish on their menu vegetarian. When you customize this way, be sure to order clearly and assertively, ensuring the person taking your order understands your requirement. And, when your order is delivered, be sure to double-check yourself that there is no meat before you start eating. Mistakes on customized orders are too easy to make. I once ordered a combo-meal of chalupas and tacos at Taco Bell, repeating at least two times that I want 'no meat' in my order. When my order arrived, I found that my chalupas indeed had no meat, but the tacos were filled with beef. Fortunately, I noticed this just as the Taco was about to enter my mouth. Incidentally, for some reason, most people taking orders in the US seem to hear and understand "with NO meat" more readily and easily than "without meat". I still don't know why!



• Vegetarian / non-vegetarian by definition: In India, especially in South India, the word vegetarian has only one interpretation - no meat or eggs. Unfortunately, this is not so in the US. Different people interpret the words "vegetarian" and "with no meat" differently. The person taking your order or answering your questions at a restaurant is no different. Rather than assume that the other person's interpretation of the word vegetarian is the same as your own, you are better off clarifying exactly what you are looking for. Eg: "Would you be able to make this dish for me without meat and eggs? What do you recommend on your menu that has no animal products at all in it?"



• "Vegetarian" (or not!) by subtraction: The other thing to remember is that some people are truly naive or unaware about why you are ordering something "with no meat". They might think that simply removing pieces of meat from a dish which was originally cooked with meat, or the vegetable soup made with beef broth without actually adding pieces of meat into it, will both satisfy your 'with no meat' criteria. I heard about the removing pieces of meat from a non-vegetarian dish incident from someone. The vegetable soup with beef broth thing actually happened to me!



• Non-vegetarian by deception: This is by far the thing you need to be most careful about. When I say deception, I mean that vegetarians get deceived into eating meat products because it is so inconspicuous and not easily noticeable. I certainly don't mean that somebody is deliberately trying to deceive vegetarians into eating meat products. There is no way for me to list everything which appears to be a vegetarian dish, but is actually not. So, I will just list the stuff I come across most often, and will keep this list updated if I come across anything else later. If my readers would like for me to add/correct something in this list, please leave a comment.
  • Cheese - most of the cheeses are made with animal-based rennet enzymes.
  • Tortilla chips - in some (not all) Mexican restaurants, these are be fried in beef lard. Best to check before you eat.
  • Spanish rice & refried beans - another common item in Mexican restaurants. They are almost always cooked in chicken/beef broth. There may be exceptions. I have heard that black beans are not usually cooked in any animal broth. In any case, it's best to check before eating.
  • Fish oil in Thai restaurants - I have heard that Thais use fish oil in most of their dishes, just like Indians put hoggarenne or thadka in many of their dishes. Yes, they could use fish oil in even vegetarian dishes such as vegetable Pad Thai or fried rice, as well as vegetarian soups and curries. Best to clarify.
  • Grilled / Fried vegetarian stuff like veggie burgers or fries - if you are ordering these in a restaurant that also serves meat, you can pretty much take it for granted that your order will get grilled / fried on the same hot plate, skillet or utensil, and probably in the same oil, in which some other meat-based dish was cooked. Your order will come smeared with animal fat and particles.
  • Meat with strange names - the English language has too many strange and unfamiliar names for different types of meats, and one might get deceived by that. It is almost as if they don't want people to know or remember exactly which animal they are eating. I have heard of Indian vegetarians eating pepperoni pizza without knowing that pepperoni is a type of pig meat. It has the word pepper in it, for god's sake!
  • Sauces and salad dressings - there are too many sauces and salad dressings which might contain animal-products in them. A lot of salad dressings have eggs in them. Original Caesar salad dressing is supposed to have anchovies (a type of fish). Worcestershire sauce, which I allowed someone to add to my food once, has anchovies too. You can be pretty sure that tomato, soy and most chilli sauces don't contain any animal products. Most Italian salad dressings and vinegar-based dressings are also probably safe. Everything else should be questioned and consumed only if you are absolutely sure.
  
  
• Egg on your face: Eggs! These compete neck-and-neck with the stuff in the list above, for things you have to be most careful about... that is, if you are a vegetarian who does not eat eggs. It is amazing the number of food items in which the egg turn up. This is one thing which has defeated me in America! When I was new in the US, I avoided eating cakes and cookies, and thought I was safe from eggs. Turns out that eggs were present in so many other things which I was already eating - pastas, ice-creams, certain types of breads, pancakes, waffles, even salad dressing, for god's sake. There I was, stuffing my face with salads, trying different types of salad dressings and thinking I was safe, unaware that many salad dressings were leaving egg on my face. Yes, a lot of salad dressings have egg in them. If you want salad dressings with no egg - Italian dressing and many of the vinegar-based dressings are safe in most places. Also, when you order vegetarian fried rice or vegetarian Pad Thai or most other vegetarian dishes in Chinese and Thai restaurants, be sure to say 'no eggs'. A large number of people consider eggs to be vegetarian! Once I saw something called "egg substitute" in a breakfast restaurant's menu. Great! It looked like something that would be used in place of eggs. I asked the waitress what it was made of - she could not answer me properly. She was already too hassled at that busy hour and I did not want to take up too much of her time. I thought egg substitutes may be made with soy, considering that soy is used as a substitute for so many animal-based food products. Only days later, after I had relished my order made with "egg substitute", did I learn that the main ingredient in most egg substitutes is... ta-da... EGG! Yes, yesss - egg substitutes are made with eggs. Egg substitute is this powder which (mixed with water) is used in place of real eggs to lower the fat and cholesterol levels. But most egg substitutes have egg-whites in them! I have managed to avoid meat in the US, but it is really tough to avoid egg, simply because it is used in making so many things. After having consumed eggs without being aware in so many different items, I accepted defeat. Now, I eat things like cakes, cookies, etc. which might contain eggs in them in disguised, invisible form. But I still don't eat eggs in direct, visible form - boiled, scrambled or in any other way.

Whew! That post turned out longer than I expected. I will stop here. I hope this list is of use to new vegetarians in the US. But before I close, I do want to reiterate that all hope is not lost - there are still lots of safe choices for vegetarians in the US. Just browse through the posts labelled "Food" on this blog, and you will see a small sampling of a variety of vegetarian choices, in my "Vegetarian Lunch in America" series.

Voting is Compulsory in Australia!

Today I learnt from the Google Public Policy blog post on Australian elections that voting is compulsory in Australia for all eligible citizens!

To use a popular teenage phrase: I was like, WHOA!

And then, I wondered what happens if someone does not vote in Australia. A quick Google search brought up this helpful FAQ page from the Australian Electoral Commission. Apparently, they get fined in Australia if they don't vote:

What happens if I do not vote?
Initially the Australian Electoral Commission will write to all apparent non-voters requesting that they either provide a reason for their failure to vote or pay a $20 penalty.

If, within 21 days, the apparent non-voter fails to reply, cannot provide a valid and sufficient reason or declines to pay the penalty, then prosecution proceedings may be instigated. If the matter is dealt with in court and the person is found guilty, he or she may be fined up to $50 plus court costs.

Wow! They should make voting compulsory in all democratic countries. I don't know what effect it would have ultimately, but it will definitely make those shady politicians work harder... at least on the campaign trail, in order to win over a larger number of more diverse citizens.

The voter turn-out right now is pathetic in most elections - both in the US and in India. (I am not familiar with the voter turn-out in other countries.) Even in the US Presidential elections, which garner great interest world-wide, the voter turn-out is remarkably poor - just around 50%. Check this link which lists the voter turn-out in every Federal election since 1960. The bold numbers occuring every 4 years correspond to the Presidential elections and they consistenly show around 50% voter turn-out!

Yes, that 50% is the total voter turn out - includes people who voted for both/all the contesting candidates and people whose votes were invalid for one reason or the other. What this means is that every President Of The United States is actually sent to the office by a small minority of people, compared to the total population of the country! So, a presidential candidate does not need to win over the majority of the citizens - he just has to concentrate on winning over just enough of the minority to beat his/her rival candidates! Is it any surprise that most Presidents don't really seem to work for the people? Is it any wonder that the American Democracy no longer seems to be of the people, for the people, by the people?

Fuck You, sellers of love!

To everyone who sold to me the ideas about love and romance - Fuck You very much! To every romantic book, movie, song and story I've come across - Fuck You very much!

The one thing that has caused me the greatest pain, hurt, tears, humiliation, damage, loss, grief, frustration is love.

To love itself - Fuck You very very much!

Non-evolution of Humans

Our external world is fast changing. Incredible changes happen in the world from year to year, decade to decade, century to century. Some of these changes are unimaginable for most people until they actually happen. These external changes, which are considered to be 'progress' and 'evolution', lull most of us humans into thinking that we are actually progressing or evolving as a species. That is a total illusion!

We may be evolving better or faster or easier ways of doing things - eating, sleeping, mating, travelling, entertaining ourselves, killing others. But, we are not evolving much at a personal level, as people, as a species.

When we read literary works that are a few years or decades old, a few centuries old (Shakespeare, for example) or even thousands of years old (ancient epics like the Mahabharatha or the Greek myths), we note that the human concerns and character, our desires and feelings, our actions and reactions have not changed much at all. In thousands of years, we have really not evolved much in terms of how our personalities are.

Our lack of evolution is amazing. And, when we consider that we are still fighting, hurting and killing one another, still starving for proper food in large pockets of the world, it is disappointing. And worst of all, when we see at a personal level that, we have still not mastered effective communication and sharing of love, control of anger and jealousy, avoiding hurting those who love us, sharing food and riches, successfully experiencing a content and nurturing romantic relationship, the non-evolution of humans is downright depressing.

If we measure inter-personal and intra-personal (i.e., in the mind of a single person) conflict and strife within all the species of the world, humans will probably be toppers. By that measure, we are probably one of the least evolved species - in terms of communication, personality, inter-personal relationship!

Candidates@Google: Ron Paul

Ron Paul is a Republican candidate hoping to be the next President of the United States. He calls himself a constitutionalist first. I have seen a few Internet videos of him speaking and I am pleasantly surprised. Among all the politicians - both American and Indian - I have seen so far, Ron Paul comes across as the one with the most sincere convictions and ideals. You will get no lame, empty sound-bytes or insincere, populist rhetoric from this guy. He is extremely articulate, and everything he says seem to be based on deeply held convictions and logical reasoning. Not only that, he has consistently stuck to his ideals in his entire political career - no contradictions, no compromises seem to appear in his political record.

No wonder that Ron Paul's popularlity is increasing phenomenally among younger Americans with diverse leanings - Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal. I don't agree with all his positions, but boy, is it refreshing to see a politician like Ron Paul in these times!

Seriously, if you care about who the next President of the United States will be, you should Google Ron Paul. Even if you don't care, just check out the video below of his interview at Google, to see why he is so different and important to present day America.