Bangalore Notes - Feb 14th, 2007 – Meeting A & Travel to Chennai

Met A for breakfast this morning. It may be recalled that A is the girl who was introduced to my parents by our neighbors as a possible match for me. We met at the Malleshwaram 18th Cross bus stand. A had brought me a Cadbury’s Dairy Milk chocolate – I had told her that’s my favorite chocolate. I had taken her some chocolates I had brought from the US. A wanted to visit the Sai Baba temple near 15th Cross and Sampige Road. In all those years I spent roaming around Malleshwaram, I had never visited this temple. After that, we had breakfast at Janata Hotel on 8th Cross. The hotel is well-known masala dosa, which we had. I don’t know why it is considered to be so special. It was as good as a well-made dosa anywhere in the world – in Bangalore, Singapore, San Francisco or Phoenix.

I had thought we would be able to linger over breakfast and talk, but the ambience of Janata Hotel was suitable not for sitting and talking. It was strictly an eat-quick-and-leave kinda place. So, we started walking towards another temple adjacent to 8th Cross, between Margosa and Sampige roads. I thought it was a Krishna temple and we might find some quiet spot outside the temple to sit and talk. The temple turned out to be a Raghavendraswami temple, and while we sat there, A said she wanted to go to the ISKCON temple. So, we ended up visiting the third temple in one morning!

I had not visited ISKCON in a long time, and I was quite shocked by the security checks before entering the temple. There were guards at the front gate, with guns and a dog, checking the insides and the trunks of all the cars which came in. They did not allow backpacks or cameras into the temple – these had to be left outside against a receipt, near the place where we left our shoes. After that, we had to pass through a metal detector and were then frisked by another guard. Once inside, the visitors are almost always on a path that’s well-defined by ropes, which guides them through the temples, the movie theatre the shopping areas and food vendors, right back to the place where we left our shoes.

I can understand all those checks because ISKCON Bangalore has received bomb threats in the past. Nevertheless, I did not feel good about all the restrictions and herding. That’s enough to discourage me from visiting the place too often.

A and I were able to talk for sometime at ISKCON, outside the temple. The conversation was all general, about impersonal stuff – I don’t even remember all the things we talked about. Then, I dropped her off at the Yeshwanthpur bus stand and returned home. I could not take her any closer to her house because it was getting late for me – I had to return home, finish my packing, have lunch and catch the train to Chennai in a couple of hours. I am going to Chennai for the interview at the US Consulate for my visa stamping.

I left A with the impression that she is a nice, pleasant, comfortable person to be with. But I did not feel anything particularly romantic. Given the state of my life and emotions right now, I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to feel romantic again. Perhaps, never. Perhaps it was a mistake to interact with A, meet her, and waste her time and energy. I should have stuck to my guns and not let my family push me to interact with anybody. I always regret it when I go against my convictions for the sake of other people. So, what’s new? Ugh!

It always sucks when one’s convictions are in conflict with the expectations of others – especially family, friends and those we love. Going against our convictions makes us feel weak and spineless. Going against others’ expectations makes us seem rude and inconsiderate. I hate having to deal with this nonsense, and I hate the social setup which puts people into these kinds of situations.

Travelled to Chennai by the Brindavan Express train in the afternoon. The train left Bangalore at 1430 hrs and arrived in Chennai at around 2015 hrs or so. It was a mostly uneventful journey. I talked to a lady on the train, who has recently become involved, along with her husband, in one of the countless network marketing schemes. She gave me her card and invited me to meet her husband and see a presentation about her business during my stay in Chennai. I told her that I’d call her if I could spare time, but most probably I would have no time during my short stay there. In fact, my stay in Chennai is so short, I will not even have time to visit my aunt’s (mom’s older sister) home. To her credit, the lady did not try to force me too much. If she had, I would have clearly told her that I am not interested in joining any kind of network marketing scheme. Over the past 6 years, I have met many people, including some close friends, who have tried to get me to join such schemes. I have even seen friends try their hand at it and fail. I don’t think that business is for me.

I am staying at the Days Inn Hotel Deccan Plaza in Rayapettai area of Chennai. It is a comfortable place, with good service, and more importantly, it is quite close to the US Consulate.