143.5 Centimeters of Love

"I apologize for not being as direct as the two previous speakers, but I nevertheless have something to say. I went to a train station today and learned that the distance between railway tracks is always 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8.5 inches. Why this absurd measurement? I asked my girlfriend to find out and this is what she discovered. When they built the first train carriages, they used the same tools as they had for building horse-drawn carriages. And why that distance between the wheels on carriages? Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. And who decided that roads should be that width? Well, suddenly, we are plunged back into the distant past. It was the Romans, the first great road builders, who decided to make their roads that width. And why? Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5 centimeters.

"So the distance between the tracks I saw today, used by our state-of-the-art high-speed trains, was determined by the Romans. When people went to the United States and started building railways there, it didn't occur to them to change the width and so it stayed as it was. This even affected the building of space shuttles. American engineers thought the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were built in Utah and had to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels couldn't take anything wider. And so they had to accept the measurement that the Romans had decided was the ideal. But what has all this to do with marriage?"

I paused. Some people were not in the slightest bit interested in railway tracks and had started talking among themselves. Others were listening attentively, among them Marie and Mikhail.

"It has everything to do with marriage and with the two stories we have just heard. At some point in history, someone turned up and said: When two people get married, they must stay frozen like that for the rest of their lives. You will move along side by side like two tracks, keeping always that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. The rules say: Be sensible, think of the future, think of your children. You can't change, you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don't allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through - it's too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, the same functional nature. your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were - 143.5 centimeters apart. If you're not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into the world.

"Think of your neighbors. Show them that you're happy, eat roast beef on Sundays, watch television, help the community. Think of society. Dress in such a way that everyone knows you're in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.

"Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport - oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. When sport isn't enough, have plastic surgery. But never forget, these rules were established long ago and must be respected. Who established these rules? That doesn't matter. Don't question them, because they will always apply, even if you don't agree with them."

- The Zahir by Paulo Coelho

Fresh Pomegranate Juice!

Fresh pomegranate juice! I got to taste it when I was in Bangalore last month. I have to tell you the fresh pom juice kicks the packed stuff you get here in the US many times over. I don't know if it was the freshness of the juice or the variety of fruit used to make it, I was just bowled over by the taste. It was brimming with fresh sweetness compared to the stale tartness you get in packed pom juice in the US.

Tourist Spots around Bengaluru

This spreadsheet is so awesome, I just had to share with my readers. Visitors and residents of Bangalore city will find it very useful. It lists all the tourist spots and places of interest, from 50 kilometers to 580 kilometers from Bangalore. It shows the distance of the spot, what type of place it is, what facilities are available there, where is the closest petrol bunk (gas station in Americanese), best times to visit and number of days needed to see the place. Totally awesome.

Here's the link: Tourist Spots Around Bengaluru

Google Contacts - Merge & Search

If you are a frequent Gmail user, you should check out the 'merge' option in your Google Contacts. Most people we communicate with have more than one email address. Due to the way Gmail adds every email ID you write to its address book (Contacts), you might have more than one entry in Contacts for many people. Now you can select multiple entries belonging to the same person and merge them together in Google Contacts to create one neat address book entry, without losing any information. Give it a try. I was able to remove almost a 100 duplicate entries from my list.

Google contacts has also vastly improved its search feature. Just type in any letters or numbers in the search bar, and it will search every field of your address book for those. So now, you can search your address book by name, email address, mailing address, phone number, instant messenger ID, etc.

India Notes - January 2009

I flew into India at 1:30 AM on Jan 3rd. I will be flying out of India, back to the US, on Saturday night, technically Sunday morning, at 2:30 AM on Jan 25th. Woke up this morning (Friday) with an overwhelming sense of impending loneliness, of more days and months to be spent away from family and friends. I have been flying in and out of India so many times since April 2000, and in all these years, I have never felt this way. Strange that I should feel it now.

During this trip, more than at any other time, I really felt the value and goodness of being close to family and friends. This is perhaps because my life in the US has been lonelier than ever, off late.

The new international airport at Bengaluru cannot hold a candle to most domestic airports in the US in terms of size and facilities offered to passengers/visitors. It has been built with an extremely poor vision (read NO vision) of the current and future demands for air travel in and out of Bengaluru. The sky bridges through which people board flights have been built so close together that if a medium-sized international flight lands, the two bridges on its either side cannot be used by other aircraft due to space issues.

Having said that, the new airport is so much better than the old one. Despite the longer distance of this airport from most city locations, getting out of the airport after landing and getting into the airport to board are a breeze. After I landed, I had cleared immigration, picked up my baggage and was out of the airport in under 45 minutes! That is the fastest I have ever gotten out of the airport in Bengaluru.

The display terminals at Hong Kong airport and the boarding passes all spelled the name of my home city as Bengaluru. In the city itself, road signs and name boards have slowly started to appear which spell the name of the city as Bengaluru. It is not too long from now when all signs and boards will say Bengaluru. Most of us old-timers, of course, continue to refer to the city as Bangalore when we talk in English and as Bengaluru when we talk in an Indian language, as we always did.

I used the local public transport BMTC buses several times during this visit. I am impressed by the frequency and connectivity of the buses. They have done a good job on this front. The constructions of the metro rail tracks is plodding its way slowly and we still don't know when it will become operational (not any time soon!). But when the metro train does start running, things will be even better in Bengaluru.

The value of Indian rupee is much lower, compared to the cost of many goods and services. Combined with the fact that most small businesses still don't accept debit or credit cards, you end up having to carry a lot of cash in hand, especially when you are travelling.

Having said that, India is a great place for young people with higher income levels (such as the software professionals) to enjoy life. A lot of goods and services, which would have been considered luxuries for the upper middle-classes some 15 years ago, are well within their purchasing power. In fact, the gap between the truly rich and the truly poor is being fast filled up with a sufficiently well-off middle class whose numbers are swelling everyday. This is in sharp contrast to the US where the gap between the rich and poor has been steadily increasing in recent years, with a gradual decrease in the numbers of the middle class. Hopefully, the new administration in the US, under the new president Barack Obama will be able to reverse this trend.

Watched the inauguration of the new US president Barack Obama (including the fumbled oath!) live on a couple of Indian news channels. The inaugural speech was impressive. Obama has an appearance and a presence which inspires confidence in Americans from coast to coast, and even non-Americans around the world. Wish India could have a leader like that. The only person in India right now who could inspire that kind of confidence and who could deliver the results, is the current chief minister of Gujarat, Mr Narendra Modi. Unfortunately, the political setup in India is somewhat different from the US. Mr Modi will not be able to become the prime minister of India based on purely personal merit and outstanding track record (which is much better than even Obama's), the way Obama was able to become the president of the US. In fact, this comparison of the obstacles in Mr Modi's path in India and the path that Obama took to the highest office in the US, is a classic representation of the challenges faced by any talented person who wants to become successful in India compared to the challenges in the US for a similar endeavor.

Indian national cable news channels have horrible presentation. Most of them have two or three rows of constantly scrolling text at the bottom, and sometimes even a side-bar. These distracting elements often show news headlines which are not truly 'breaking'. And when they are not showing news headlines, they scroll text ads! It is extremely annoying and spoils the whole experience of watching the news. A row of scrolling text at the bottom should be used only for truly important, high-priority breaking news. Hasn't anybody told them that? Don't they realize how bad their current design is?

The other annoying thing about Indian news is the way the media people are allowed to mob any newsworthy individual who has been arrested, whenever he or she is transported from one place to another (like say from the holding cell to the court). The media personnel are not allowed to mob and surround politicians, movie stars or any other celebrities who have not been arrested. They are kept at a reasonable distance and the newsworthy subject has sufficient personal space to move around. But when it comes to people who have been arrested, there is a chaotic mob if police security personnel, camera men, reporters and interviewers jostling like crazy. The latest person to star in this mob drama on TV is Satyam's ex-CEO, Mr Ramalinga Raju who confessed to high fraud.

On the personal front, it was very nice to meet my 4-month old niece. She is such a cute and smiling baby, already big for some of the clothes I bought, which are supposed to fit 6-month old babies. Good thing I also got a few bigger clothes. The baby is too young to be afraid of anyone. So, she lets pretty much anybody hold her and make her smile. We had her naming ceremony on Jan 21st, and we finalized on a name only on the day before the ceremony, when the decorator for the event pressed us for a name because he had to put it up on the wall of the party hall. Apparently short, sweet, satisfactory female Indian names starting with 'B' (due to astrological requirements!) are much harder to come by, than those starting with 'R' or 'S'. My sister, the baby's mother, finally chose the name Bhavyasri. Bhavya means 'grand' in Sanskrit.

Visited Goa for the first time. Had a real good, fun trip with a few friends. We went on a day trip to the church of St Francis of Assisi and the popular sea-side fort, and a popular beach on the first day. In the evening, we went on a typical Indian hour-long cruise - over crowded, people dancing helter-skelter all over the place. On the second day, we went on a boat trip to a small isolated cove, where we did some swimming and snorkeling. Except for one other party of foreigners, we pretty much had the cove to ourselves. After that, we went parasailing, rode a water scooter (they don't let us ride it on our own) and went on a ride called the banana ride. The 'banana' is an inflatable boat which is shaped like a long tube (hence the name 'banana'). You just sit on the tube one behind the other and the tube is towed out to the sea by a motor boat. Once you are in the middle of the sea, the boat driver turns the boat so that the tube on which you are sitting is flipped and you are all thrown into the sea! It was so much fun being dunked into the sea many miles from the shore! On the third day, we rented a couple of motorbikes and went on a long ride across half of Goa. On the last day, we spent over three hours playing in the water at Sernabatim beach, which is very pretty and has very less crowd.

Getting BSNL broadband connection was a relatively quick and painless process. But the Internet service itself is not very stable and dependable. There are occasional intermittent outages of several seconds to several minutes. Can be a very frustrating experience when this happens in the middle of using the Internet.

Managed to sell my beloved 1984 model class motorcycle Bullet. Well, the transaction will be completed in early February, but the buyer and the terms are finalized. I never got to fully enjoy that bike - having been sent to the US within a few months after buying it in August 2000. Tried to hang on to it all these years, getting relatives and friends to look after it. But it didn't work out as well as I'd have liked. So, had to let it go with much reluctance. Had a nice license plate number too... CKD 3690. Vehicles in Karnataka (and most parts of India) don't even have such numbers any more!

After returning to the US, missed family, friends and my country a lot. It felt so good to be the part of my country and its people, to experience that lifestyle for the past few days. Missing India can sometimes be as deeply intense as missing a woman you love. Felt totally out of touch with classes and studies after returning. Still playing catch up. But got back into the loner lifestyle surprisingly quickly... Nevertheless, I don't want to be here. Want to be there.

The White Tiger - Book Review

This year's Booker Prize winning novel, The White Tiger, by Indian writer Aravind Adiga, starts off in an unusual format - as a letter or series of letters from a small-time Indian entrepreneur, addressed to Wen Jiabao, the Premier of China. The premise is that Balram Halwai, the Bangalore-based entrepreneur, hears on the radio about the Premier's impending visit to India, to learn about how India produces so many entrepreneurs, the one thing in which China has not surpassed India, and he takes it upon himself to educate the Premier. Based on the mood and tone of the first few pages, you'd expect to read the story of how a person becomes one of the millions of successful entrepreneurs in India, who have propelled the country into being the second fastest growing economy in the world. A story narrated with wit, sarcasm and dark humor. And that is what you get.

But you also get more. You get an utterly realistic, ugly and depressing view of Indian society, through the eyes of one of its poorest sons as he goes through his life. From growing up in a remote North Indian village, attending a pathetic school, to being pulled out of school at the age of eight to work in a tea shop, to becoming the chaffeur for a rich family, to committing a heinous crime to the capital for her entrepreneurial venture, to becoming a successful, scrubbed entrepreneur running a cab company in India's tech capital, Bangalore. That's the entire story of the novel in one sentence. And no, it is not the story of the courage and heroism of an unfortunate person who rises up in life through honest hardwork and determination. And no, it is not an uplifting story by any stretch of the imagination. There is nothing to be proud of in the novel - not the country, not its society, not its economy, not the booming technology sector, not the upper classes, not the lower classes, not even the observant, determined, quick-learning, ultimately successful protagonist, Balram Halwai.

The author, Aravind Adiga, keeps the first person narration simple and straight-forward. There are no narcissistic attempts at showing off his literary skills. No self-indulgent prolonged critiques and philosophical narratives. The few places where the author attempts to explain concepts about Indian society - examples include the caste system and the 'Rooster Coop' (the coop in which hens to be slaughtered are packed tightly and where they remain quietly, unprotesting) metaphor for the Indian society with its quietly subjugated population - are handled with pithy simplicity.

The author exhibits a remarkable skill in observing and narrating the story through the eyes and heart of a servant. Quote from the book: "Do we loathe our masters behind a facade of love - or do we love them behind a facade of loathing?". He also shows a similar skill in the characterization of the people who fill the story. At one point, Balram Halwai, the servant-driver, says how he would never buy a t-shirt, like the one his master wears because it is mostly white with a small, simple design on the front. To get his money's worth, he would buy a very colorful shirt, filled with as much designs and patterns as possible. While the characterization is believable, the transformation of Balram from a suppressed servant to a ruthless criminal is somewhat abrupt and hard to accept. Despite the fact that he is portrayed to be different (a white tiger!) from the other boys and men his entire life. Perhaps, I'm simply used to reading and seeing heroes in most books and movies going through great misery and pain before they've had enough and decide to fight back.

There are some poignant moments in the story like the time Balram, the chaffeur, counsels and consoles his broken master on the side of a road, using his own home-brewed cocktail of morals and philosophies, some picked up in his childhood village and some made-up on the spot. At that point in the story, he compares himself to THE famous chaffeur from India - Lord Krishna Himself, who narrated the great Bhagavad Gita to a broken and self-doubting Arjuna. It is this kind of wit and humor from the protagonist, which keep the book from becoming a dark and depressing read. This is also the author's greatest strength. It makes the book very readable and keeps it moving at a steady clip. One could easily finish the book in one or two sittings.

I like that the author keeps things gritty and real without being too dramatic or preachy, without being moralistic or taking sides too obviously. I like that he does not seem to indulge in the cardinal sin of many Indian writers and movie directors - playing to the Western galleries with a mix of exaggerated and exotic portrayal of all things Indian. Unless you consider the entire novel to be one big play for the Westerners. I don't think it is. But I am a little disappointed because I did expect the novel to be representative of the story of a typical (tech) entrepreneur from Bangalore, a story that needs to be told, a story I'd love to read. I did not expect a story, which when described in one sentence, sounds like it is straight out of a typical Indian movie! Despite that, I do recommend this book. It is a valuable and realistic snapshot of the current state of Indian society, with all its class differences, misery and corruption, juxtaposed against the tech boom and economic growth. For that it's well worth a read - especially to my fellow, young Indians.

Handling One-sided Love

It happens to all of us at one time or the other: we fall in love with someone who does not love us back the same way as we love them. one-sided love. Unreturned love. Unreciprocated love.

One day you are innocently living your own life. The next day, you start to notice this cute person at school / work, or this charming new person in your social circle, or you befriend this person online who seems to be very interesting, or you start to date somebody to whom you are very attracted. At first it is just this admiring attraction you feel, that you are barely aware of yourself. Then, there comes a moment when you realize that you are hopelessly in love with them, and have been so for the past few days / weeks. One-sided love is like that... it has the nasty habit of creeping up on you unexpectedly.

Regardless of how it starts, one-sided love is one of the most painful experiences to go through. The pain is especially great when it is first love. One of the cruel realities of human life is that for most people, first love is indeed one-sided love.

Love happens. It is extremely hard to consciously choose with whom, when and how you fall in love. So, it is almost impossible to avoid one-sided love. Falling in that trap is in itself very bad and very sad. But it is what you do after the fall that's important. Unfortunately, it is far too easy to do things which compound matters more and cause the pain to be far greater than it needs to be.

One-sided love is my old friend. I have been on both sides of the equation. I have experienced the pain, difficulties and discomfort of the one who fell in love and did not find it reciprocated. And I have noted with surprise and much misery that being the object of one-sided love can be an equally painful experience, if not worse. I have enormous compassion and empathy for those who go through this misery on either side. I present this post with the humble hope that it might be of some help to the unfortunate souls going through the hell of one-sided love.

Undoubtedly, some of what I write below will sound like actions that drive the final nail on the coffin of your love and bury it. So, this advice will be hard to accept for people who still harbor hopes that their love will succeed. But trust me, when I say that these actions are not aimed at burying your love. These actions are primarily focussed on helping you heal and be strong. And if there is even a remote possibility, for your love to succeed, these very actions will draw out that possibility and help it become a reality. As such, all that I write below is totally valid and applicable whether you have given up on your love and want to move on, or you still harbor hopes that it will succeed. In either case, you would do well to heed this advice.


When to give up?


You fall in love. You share this fact with your beloved, with much anxiety and fear, hoping upon hope that they feel the same way towards you. But alas, you learn that they do not "like you that way" or "never saw you like that" or "can never have that type of feelings for you". There is immediate dejection, your heart feels heavy as a mountain in your chest. Then what?

You try again. The next hour or next day or next week, you have another talk with the person you love. You hope to convince them with logic or sentiments. You try desperately to make them see the beautiful vision of a future together that fills your eyes, you try to fill their hearts with the overwhelming, tender feelings that fill your own. But without success. Then what?

It can be very tough to know when to recognize that your love will never succeed, that you should give up and move on. It is especially tough to realize the futility of it all when you are young. And even if you realize that it is a failed venture, it can be tough to give up and let go without trying your best, without putting some desperate effort into it, without fighting for that ultimate love you so ardently believe in.

So, at what point should you give up? Unfortunately, there is no right answer to that question. Just as we cannot predict when the heart will fall in love, we cannot predict when the heart will be ready to give up and move on. Worse, we cannot predict the heart of the other person - who knows, it might turn around and fall for us, if only we remain true to our love for a few more days or weeks. So, I cannot tell you exactly when to give up. A good rule of thumb is to give up as soon as the communication from both sides has been very clear and unambiguous. You have expressed your love clearly and the other person has rejected you unambiguously? Time to move on.


Don't try too hard


You have talked 2 or 3 times to the person you love to see if they love you back the same. They don't. Then what to do with them? Nothing. Just let go. Even if you madly, desperately love them, don't try to make them. Keep the mad love in your own heart. Don't drown the other person with your feelings. Don't try too hard.

You can't use logic to convince anybody to love you. You cannot charm them into loving you, against their wishes. You cannot force or make anybody love you, if they don't already feel the love for you. Moreover, convincing somebody to love you with your charm, beauty, money or sex is not the best way to get love. Love cannot be bought like that. The best and most enduring love is the one which rises in the heart on its own, inspired merely by the being of the other person, without needing extra efforts or convincing from anybody. Such love will flow effortlessly and naturally, of its own accord.

Whatever you do, don't try too hard to make somebody love you. I can never stress this enough. By trying too hard, you might actually be killing any small chances there might be for the other person to fall for you. Growing things need lots of room to grow freely and playfully. You can't convince a wild tiger or wolf to come out and play with you by trying too hard and chasing it all over the jungle. The most you can do is regulate your own behavior and hope for it to come to you on its own. Who knows, if you are lucky, things might flow your way. But don't try too hard lest you kill your chances yourself.


Walk away and keep away


The other thing you do when your love is not reciprocated is just walk away. Put some distance between the person you love and yourself. In fact, if you know for sure that they will never love you back, it is best if you don't run into them or communicate with them at all. At least temporarily. Perhaps later, when your heart has let go and healed, there may be a chance to resume some form of acquaintanceship or friendship. But when your love for them is still burning bright, when the wound of rejection is still fresh, when your heart is still hurting, any type of regular and/or close contact should be avoided.

Some people fear that by keeping away from the person they love, they may be killing what little chance they may have with them. The opposite is true. When you are away, it gives the other person a chance to realize what they are missing by not having you around. If they realize that and truly want you, they will come seeking you on their own. If they don't realize anything of the sort, it means they didn't notice you or value you all that much to begin with. So, you are better off being away from them.


Don't do stuff together


In a way, this point is same as the previous point about keeping away from the object of your love. But this is important enough that I am spelling it out explicitly. Before you fell for that person, the two of you might have been in a relationship where you did stuff together. You might have been buddies, classmates, colleagues, or part of some hobby/special interest group. But now that you have expressed your romantic interest and have been rebuffed, it is better that you avoid such combined activities.

This may require you to go through some inconvenient changes in your own life. Change classes at school? Change departments at work? Stop hanging out at the same social haunts or events? Delete them from your online contact lists, phone address book, etc.? Even change the gang of friends whom you meet regularly? The idea is to keep interaction / contacts with the person you fell for at a bare minimum or none.

This advice is most important if you were doing 'couple stuff' before one of you fell in love seriously. By couple stuff, I mean things like casual dating, going out for movies or dinner as a twosome, or even a friends-with-benefits / casual sex type of relationships. If you were doing such things, and one of you fell in love seriously, where as the other person doesn't want to get serious, put a complete stop to all the 'couple stuff'.

It can be very painful to regularly interact, even as just friends or colleagues, with a person who doesn't reciprocate your ardent love. You are constantly reminded of what you love, desire and want, but can't have. It's a torture for the body, heart and soul. It makes moving on and healing very tough. It comes in the way of getting a proper perspective on things. Don't let yourself go through that torture. End the interactions.


Don't stalk or obsess


Being in love means being constantly concerned and interested about everything going on with the person you love. This comes very close to stalking and obsessing. Stalking isn't restricted to just physically following someone around everywhere. Physical following is something you should never do with someone who doesn't reciprocate your love. Remember - walk away and keep away! But suppose circumstances don't allow you to totally avoid interacting with the person towards whom you feel one-sided love. Suppose you are classmates or colleagues, and you are unable to change classes or jobs. Then what? If you can't be physically away, at least try not to mentally obsess about the person. I know this is easier said than done. To love someone is to think about that person constantly. But you can certainly avoid obsessive behavior like trying to know everything about them, keeping tabs on what is going on with them, listening to their conversations with others, constantly checking their blogs or social networking pages and updates (Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, etc.), following them online to participate in the discussions and postings they are involved in, etc., etc. These are the types of behavior you can and should avoid. Doing these things won't help you win their love. These things will in fact, push them farther away. And these actions keep you from healing and moving on.


Don't try to share and heal together


It's stupid to think that a person who loves and another person who doesn't return that love can share the hurts caused by this same unreturned love, and can heal together. You may genuinely care for each other. You might even have been good friends in the past. But as things stands now with one person wanting something more than the other person is willing to share or give, there is no way for peace and healing to be experienced together. You can certainly heal, but on your own. Or with some other caring friend or lover. Not with the person you love and who can't love you back. Don't even attempt this because the opposite will occur. The constant reminder of unreturned love will hurt you more. It will cause the other person to feel worse also.


Don't become weak or ill


Whatever you do, for god's sake don't become weak or fall ill - physically or mentally. It is not worth it at all. Not worth spoiling your health over someone who doesn't return your love. It is not fair to yourself. It is not fair to the other person. It also doesn't make you any more attractive or love-able. In fact, by falling ill, becoming weak or going loco, you are totally destroying any little chance there might have been of things working out for you. When the person wasn't attracted to you or didn't love you when you were healthy and happy, what makes you think that falling ill or going crazy makes you any more attractive and love-able. Just get a good strong grip on yourself and concentrate on living a steady, strong life. It's okay if you have to break-down and cry. Just don't stay broken or stay down. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on.


Ultimately, that is the gist of everything I have said above: when you are in love and it's not returned, just move on. Move on.

December Lunch

My lunch today was a six-course meal:

1. Slices of green apple, marinated and grilled portabella, grilled eggplant & red pepper, avocado and spinach, wrapped in a spinach tortilla with pepperjack cheese, dijon mustard, oil and vinegar. Lightly toasted.

2. One the side: lentil-potato-carrot salad & Cholula hot sauce.

3. One-third cup of sweetened lemonade mixed with two-thirds cup of unsweetened black iced tea.

4. A blue sky half covered with scattered clouds in all shades of dark, grey and white, and in all shapes and sizes.

5. Warm sun rays caressing my skin from between the clouds. Chilly breeze trying to get under my clothes.

6. Vista of the Northwest metropolitan Valley sprawling below me, with mountains beyond, everything covered by a patchwork quilt of cloud shadows.

To enjoy this lunch using a wall-buttress as a stand-up dining table, on the parking lot's 9th floor rooftop: the perfect beauty of the moment filled my stomach, heart and soul.

National Public Internet

Here's my submission to Google's Project 10 to the 100th. The idea is presented by answering a series of questions (bolded below) from Google.


National Public Internet


What one sentence best describes your idea? (maximum 150 characters)

Internet connectivity as free, as ubiquitous and easy as FM radio.


Describe your idea in more depth. (maximum 300 words)

Internet for Everyone from National Public Internet (NPI).

The future of the Internet is that basic wireless connectivity will be as free (of cost), ubiquitous and easily available as FM radio. This will co-exist with a paid tier of premium Internet service that offers ultra high speed connectivity. But the basic service will be free. Just as FM radio is free and easily available, where as premium video channels on cable cost some money.

The project aims to:

1. Create a non-profit nationwide Internet service provider organization (called NPI), analogous to the non-profit public radio company NPR. It is very important to conceive and run this as a non-profit organization.
2. A nationwide network infrastructure on which to provide the basic free wireless Internet service to everybody.

Why non-profit?

The focus and energies of NPI should be on smoothly running an extremely important and vital nationwide network infrastructure to provide free wireless Internet. The focus should never be distracted or biased by profit-making considerations or for creating shareholder wealth. The organization should be strictly independent of any profit-making corporation. It should also be independent of incumbent profit-making internet service provider companies, including cable and telecoms.

The organizational structure for NPI would be inspired by and based on the NPR model of city-level stations working together to provide nationwide coverage of high quality programming.

Network Infrastructure

NPI should be the preferred model for providing internet service on the White Space spectrum. It should directly connect to the Internet Backbone. It won't be dependent on incumbent telecoms. At the city-level, the main vehicle for the Internet signals could be the ‘white space’ spectrum. At the local block-level, there could be repeater routers deployed, as required.



What problem or issue does your idea address? (maximum 150 words)

1. Inadequate Internet connectivity in general. Extremely poor wireless Internet connectivity in particular.
2. Internet connectivity not managed and provided as a nationwide public resource like roads and highways, accessible and useful to everybody for free.

If your idea were to become a reality, who would benefit the most and how? (maximum 150 words)

1. EVERYBODY in the country would benefit from significantly increased connectivity for learning, information access and communication.
2. Emergency responders and service providers.
3. Model could be replicated in other countries with poor Internet connectivity.

What are the initial steps required to get this idea off the ground? (maximum 150 words)

1. Build a campus-wide or city-wide network as a proof of concept for the specific design and technology to be used by NPI.
2. Design the organizational structure and start building out.

Describe the optimal outcome should your idea be selected and successfully implemented. How would you measure it? (maximum 150 words)

If basic wireless Internet connectivity is available for free and easily to everybody and in every place where FM radio signals are available, this project is a success.

Happening Life!

As we draw close to yet another year, I look back at the past year and have my usual year-end thoughts: "Wow! So many things happened this year!" When I am actually living my life and experiencing things, I don't stop and take notice. I just go through them with an, "it's no big deal" attitude. It's only occasionally that I pause to realize that it is indeed a happening life. Consider the highlights of just the current quarter:

1. Christmas came early for me, at the beginning of this quarter, with a couple of peer recognition awards, an outstanding support award and an appreciation award for implementing a project I led. I also won a couple of prizes in a team game and lucky drawing at work. I pooled in some of those awards, pitched in a little myself and took my team out for lunch.

2. On October 18th, I helped organize the TRAC 1B (PDF link) session here. TRAC is a workshop on Hinduism conducted by Dato' J Jegathesan around the world, to increase awareness of Hindu traditions, religion, aspirations and culture among young Hindus. At the TRAC 1B event in October, Uncle Jega talked about the power of mantras. Also, we gave our first presentation of RHYTHM. RHYTHM stands for Reigniting Hinduism in Youth Through Music. As part of the RHYTHM program, we presented four group songs. During this visit, Uncle Jega and his wife stayed in my house for 5 days, and we had a wonderful time together.

3. Later in October, I finished the first trimester in my MBA program with A's in both courses I took, scoring above 90 in both. God I love the feeling of good academic performance. Has been so long since I last felt it! And, it is so much fun to learn new things... especially when you know that you are learning the very basics, the equivalent of alphabets, of whole new fields. I am soaking it all in with the wonderment of a child.

4. I took a long overdue trip to the East Coast to meet some very dear friends in late Oct - early Nov. I absolutely LOVED spending time with them. I met 3-year-old Sarika for the first time. She is my old college-classmate-cum-close-friend's daughter. She is such a sweet and loving child, and we hit it off from the moment we met. Felt so nice to be around a child who can't stop talking to you, playing with you, touching you and who declares that she loves you within two hours of meeting you for the first time. Poor thing was crying when I had to say bye to them. I never thought I'd say this, but meeting my friends on that trip made me want to move out East. Other highlights of my trip included - enjoying the fabulous Fall colors along I-95 on my drive from NJ to VA, experiencing the vaunted subways of New York City for the first time, and most of all, watching the 2008 US Presidential Election results unfold on big screens in Times Square. It was a real party with free snacks, coffee, tea and water courtesy of the big TV channels, and the crowds cheering wildly every time they showed the numbers, with Barack Obama sweeping state after state.

5. Drunken photos from a college party plastered on Facebook - guess, I can check that off my list of things to experience as a student in America (although I still refuse to sign up for Facebook)! Last month, I participated in the great American college tradition - Beer Olympics. Around 10 teams, each with 5-6 MBA students from all the classes in my college gathered at around 2 PM in the afternoon and started chugging beer. We kept chugging well past midnight, while we indulged in increasingly loud and boisterous drinking games, celebrating each victory with high-fives, group hugs, crazy pictures and even a couple attempts at 3-level human pyramids! Past midnight, after all the games were done, prizes were given and everybody else went home, my dear classmates (who had spent all afternoon screaming the unimaginative-but-very-catchy battle cry of "Here we come bitcheezzz!") were still not done partying. We ended up at a karaoke bar, chugging more beer! By two most people were trashed, except yours truly, who was sober enough to drop off a few people at an apartment. Until last month, I did not even know what beer pong, quarters and flip cup were. Now, I can say that I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. Yes, my classmates actually got t-shirts made with 'beer olympics' and 'Downtowners' (our classes are held Downtown) printed on them, to the envy of other teams. I wore that t-shirt to the next class, earning a snide remark from the accounting professor.

6. The day after the beer olympics, I was supposed to help a local Sai Center at their event to celebrate Sai Baba's 83rd birthday. I had told them that I'd be there at 6 AM to help load big vessels of food. Needless to say, I was not even awake at 6 AM after having gone to bed well past 3 AM. Incredibly, I did make it by 7:45 AM. I am not a follower of Sai Baba and I don't even belong to any Sai Center or group. But I like volunteering for service activities with the Sai people because they are genuinely nice, especially the head of the Phoenix center and his family, and a few friends from the Tempe-Mesa area. When they have their activities, a whole bunch of people - very young children to older adults - come together and it is a real family atmosphere. Having grown up in a joint family in India and being very family-oriented, I always miss this family atmosphere here in the US. So, I am grateful for any opportunities to do stuff with them. I especially enjoy work that involves food. I had helped a little to prepare some of the food the previous afternoon, before I left for the beer olympics. At the celebration itself, they made me incharge of all the food in the kitchen for close to 300 people! Feels very good to be trusted and accepted like that by people, even though you don't belong to their organization or group. By that afternoon, I was pretty burnt out myself! The highlight of the celebration was the chanting of Rudram with a group of young people. They had learnt Rudram to present it on this occasion, and I got to chant with them. It was simply awesome to witness a group of young people in America chant the centuries-old mantra - the very same words, the very same accents with which they have been chanted for thousands of years, by millions of people, in a land on the other side of the globe. I was so touched and moved, I choked up a couple of times during the chanting. This felt more awesome than the time I chanted Rudram 11 times, with the people at the local Ganesha temple during the Deepavali festival a few weeks earlier.

7. Meanwhile, things are getting real exciting at work. I am getting involved in two projects which will put in some revolutionary technology on the metering side of our business. Although I am not part of the development teams which will implement these technologies, I have been identified to be primarily incharge of the systems when they go into Production. One of the projects will go live this month. I am working closely with the project teams to learn and transition the systems over to the support team. Lot of new things to pick up. High visibility systems to take care of. Exciting times ahead.

8. What other exciting stuff is in store for the 20 more days left this year? I have a mid-term exam coming up next week. And then, Phoenix's very first light rail system will be inaugurated this month. I will be volunteering at the inauguration event - my small attempt to be a small part of the local history. After that, I will be preparing for my trip to India. I will be in India for most of January 2009. I will be seeing for the very first time, my first niece who was born this quarter. I know I am looking forward to that!

Can't believe I just typed out all those details from my life, as if this was a teenage girl's journal! I guess, more than the current post, some of my past dramatic posts would qualify for such a journal.

So, yeah, it's a happening life. Despite my going through most of it with a 'meh' attitude. Life is what happens in those special and precious moments, while all the years whizz past in a one big 'MEH'!

Auras in Love

I was cleaning up my mailbox recently, when I came across an old email sent to me in Aug 2004, by a good friend writing shortly after she got married to her boyfriend of over 2 years. Here's part of the mail:

Things are wonderful being married, the security you feel...that wonderful knowing that you will never be alone is a great feeling. I suppose that this is why married people have that calm peaceful look about them. My aura and Mike's aura truly blend and that's something you want to make certain you look for. A kind of flow that seems so natural that deep down you know it is what it was always meant to be. It's good. Real good. I wish you this kind of peace and happiness and love....

Thanks, C... and I hope your peace, happiness and love will last forever.

9 Days Gayatri for Mumbai

Thousands of friends from around the world are chanting the Gayatri mantra 21 times, every night at 9 PM local time, for 9 days, to bring some peace and healing to Mumbai's victims and their loved ones, after the most recent horrific attacks. We started from Nov 26th, and will continue until Dec 4th. Please join us if you can.

I feel deep horror and anger. Imagine the helpless terror and panic when someone in a crowded train station or hotel simply pulls out a big gun and shoots around indiscriminately. Imagine precious lives being snuffed out in a minute, just like that, wasted, with no explanation or meaning or redemption for the loss. Imagine the frustration of knowing that the country's leaders will do nothing more than "condemn" the attacks. Imagine the despair in knowing that another attack is inevitable, only a few days or months away, and nobody can or will do anything prevent it.

Yeah, that's a LOT of anger and frustration. I am glad I can channel my emotions out in more spiritual and healing ways by joining this prayer. Please, wherever you are, join us in chanting the sacred Gayatri 21 times at 2100 hours, YOUR local time, until Dec 4th. Spread the word.

Gayatri mantra
ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः ।
तत् सवितुर्वरेण्यं ।
भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि ।
धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात् ॥

om bhūr bhuvah svah
tat savitur varenyam
bhargo devasya dhīmahi
dhiyo yo nah pracodayāt

MP3 Audio of Gayatri Mantra.

Fights in Love

No matter what relationship you are in, there is a definite cost to fighting and arguing. This is especially true of love. Each time you argue or fight, you lose a little bit of the capital which was invested in love. Fight often and you risk losing all the capital and your love account going bankrupt! The result is a huge loss and much misery. You could be wounded so deeply that it might turn into a never-ending cycle of hurt, even if the relationship itself ends.

This might seem extremely unfair to many people, but the cost of fighting has to be paid even if the fight was caused by the obvious faults of only one person in the relationship. No matter who is at fault, the cost and loss are incurred by both. After all, the capital of love does not belong to any one person in the relationship.

So, if you are tempted to fight or argue in a loving relationship, especially over small matters, take a moment to reflect on the cost and see if the fight is really worth it. Perhaps, you are better off saving it for another occasion when there are bigger things at stake? It will help to view whatever provoked you in comparison to the bigger picture of your entire life and love.

If you find that you are fighting too often over small things, and are unable to break the pattern, consider taking a temporary break. It might seem like taking a break could damage the relationship, but believe me, the damage caused by frequent fights is bigger. If the faults / provocations are really serious, substantive and frequent, you might want to consider just ending it permanently, rather than staying in a relationship which perpetually teeters on the brink of love bankruptcy.

There are some people who actually think that an occasional fight helps to strengthen the friendship / love. This is not true. Granted that in the beginning stages of the relationship, a fight or an argument might help us realize how much we care for each other, how much we miss each other if the fight momentarily keeps us apart. But note that it merely helps us realize the love that's already there. It does not contribute anything worthwhile to the love though. If fights keep happening over a long time, it will cost for sure. No love is deep enough, no relationship is strong enough to survive prolonged and frequent fights. In fact, more the intensity of love, more the resulting hurt, and greater the damage to the relationship.

Irregardless: Height of Literary Idiocy

The height of literary idiocy is not simply the usage of the non-existent word, irregardless. No. That pinnacle is reserved for idiots who use that word, and if anyone objects, smugly point to the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

It is amazing how many people have come to think that it is an acceptable word for colloquial usage, based on such dictionary entries. As for the genius who entered that word into the M-W dictionary, confirming that "there is such a word", tamely calling it "nonstandard", and not asserting that it is WRONG, that worthy should be banned from ever touching a dictionary in his life, let alone updating one!

At least, Dictionary.com has this usage note:

Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so. (Emphasis mine).

If you are one of those who argue that English is an evolving language and so, if the majority of people use irregardless, it will become part of the language and a real word, try irregularless and disrespectless for size. See if you can figure out juse why irregardless will NEVER, EVER be a correct word no matter how many people use it!

Obama, a president who reads!

This week America did something great for a change (in recent times) : It elected a president who reads! Newspapers, no less! And, who gets technology. And, who actually thinks in terms of teachable moments"!

I had once read about how John F Kennedy's administration was romantic, idealistic and attractive like Camelot - with King Arthur and the knights. Now, I can understand how it must have been. Obama exudes this aura about him which will attract lots of smart people, with a can-do, will-do attitude. More importantly, he gives the impression that his administration will be disciplined, focused and get things done.

I hope I am right. I hope he does well. I hope he never forgets that he has gotten an entire generation of young people to believe again and he has a responsibility to not break that belief. I hope he does not screw up. Actually, at this point, I don't care if he screws up. If I'm to be screwed, I'd rather be screwed by a smart person, a thinking person, someone I can identify with and agree with in some ways at least, someone who is actually attempting to do something good!

shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi

shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi (mp3)



This is my own rendering of the excellent devotional song dedicated to Lord Ganesha, from the movie Viruddh, originally sung by Shankar Mahadevan.

Lyrics here:

gaNanAyakAya gaNadaivatAya gaNAdhyakshAya dhImahi
guNa sharIrAya guNa maNDitAya guNeshAnAya dhImahi
guNAtItAya guNadhIshAya guNa pravishThAya dhImahi

ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi

{ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi} - chorus

gAnacaturAya gAnaprANAya gAnAntarAtmane
gAnotsukhAya gAnamattAya gAnOtsuka-manase
guru-pUjitAya guru-daivatAya guru-kulastAyine
guru vikramAya guyyha pravarAya gurave guNa-gurave
gurudaitya kalakcchetre guru-dharma sadArAdhyAya
guru-putra paritrAtre guru-pAkhanDa khaNDakAya

gIta-sArAya gIta-tattvAya gIta-gOtrAya dhImahi
gUDha-gulfAya gandha-mattaya gOjaya-pradAya dhImahi
guNAtItAya guNadhIshAya guNa pravishThAya dhImahi

ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi

{ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi} - chorus

{sarva-rAjAya gandhAya sarva-gAna-shravaNa praNayime} - male chorus
{gADhaya rAgAya granthAya gItAya granthArtha tanmayiye} - female chorus
{gurilE... guNavatE... gaNapatayE...}- chorus

grantha-gItAya grantha-geyAya granthAntar-Atamane
gIta lInAya gItAshrayAya gIta-vAdya paTave
dhEya charitAya gAya-gavarAya gandharvapri-krupe
gAyakAdhina vigrahAya gangAjala pranayavate
gaurI-stanamdhanAya gaurI-hridaya nandanAya
gaura-bhAnU sutAya gaurI gaNeshvarAya

gauri-praNayAya gauri-pravaNAya gaura-bhAvAya dhImahi
ghOsa-hastraya gOvardhanAya gOpa-gOpAya dhImahi
guNAtItAya guNadhIshAya guNa pravishThAya dhImahi

ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi

{ekadantAya vakratunDAya gaurI tanayAya dhImahi
gajeshAnAya bAlachandrAya shrI gaNeshAya dhImahi} - lead singer and chorus together

Thou Art Goddess!

Recently, there was a discussion among a few friends about why Rama and Sita are considered an ideal couple in Indian culture and heritage. One Indian friend, who I think is born and brought up here in the US, had something interesting to say. He found it fascinating that Sita addressed her husband Rama as 'Dev', meaning God. Perhaps, he must have read that in a story book or seen it in a movie or TV program based on the popular Ramayana. My friend thought it was very special that they had such a high mutual regard and respect, and that they held one another and their own selves to such high honor.

Being born and brought up in India, I had never given much thought to this manner of addressing between the couples in our ancient stories. After all, I have seen many movies and read countless stories in which the wife addresses her husband as 'Dev' and the husband addresses his wife as 'Devi' (Goddess). So, I had become blind to that. Now, I wish, I hope that when I am eventually married, I can wake up every morning, kiss my wife, look her in the eyes and declare, "Thou art Goddess". I think such a powerful daily affirmation would go a long way in making us and our shared life so much better. And, I would have no choice but to be a matching God.

PS: For those who might think this is just so much empty sentiment, I have an anecdote to share. I once participated in a group ritual, at the beginning of which, the priest and the priestess who were leading the ritual, performed a simple act of affirmation and purification. They made all the attendees pass before them in a line and as each attendee stood before the priest or the priestess, s/he would anoint his/her forehead with cool sacred water, and embrace them with much affection and acceptance while quietly declaring with a whisper, "Thou art God / Goddess". That simple act was so powerful in immediately centering us, making us receptive to and feel worthy of the spirituality of the ritual that was to follow. I was amazed by how effective it was.

360 Shenanigans

At first, the idea of a 360-degree evaluation seemed like the best thing in the world, when compared to the top-down boss-reportee evaluation. It is indeed better than a single track top-down feedback. But a 360-degree evaluation is not easy to administer. The reality is that, most people are not trained to give feedback. Even if trained, most people lack the maturity and perception to give good useful feedback. So, the evaluation for the entire year or half-year, could hinge on the most recent experience or the single worst experience during the evaluation period. The usefulness of the 360-degree evaluation is lost.

A 360-degree evaluation can also be a two-way feedback. It not only says something to the person being evaluated, it also says something to his/her supervisor/boss. It not only reveals something about the person being evaluated, it also reveals something about the people who are evaluating and the system in which they all function. If the ratings for the same person, on the same criteria, given by different people range all the way from 1 to 10 (on a 10-point scale), while touching almost every score-level in-between, what is going on? If two evaluators, give diametrically opposite scores and feedback, for the same person, on the same criteria, what does that mean?

Mediocre = Happy & Content

Humans are extremely social beings. What this means is that those who are closer to the average in smarts, skills, sensitivity are the ones with the highest chances for happiness and contentment in the socialized human life. Success and popularity is pretty much assured if you are slightly better than average. Not too much better. Just enough that you can do better than most average people and the average people can recognize that you are better than them.

If you are too far above the average, your efforts will be sabotaged by a system which tends to favor the average, and your effectiveness will be cramped by the average people who can't find resonance with you. If you are too far above average, you will not be appreciated or recognized simply because your efforts and ideas are beyond the comprehension, understanding and acceptance of the average majority. If you are too far above average, prepare to live a life of compromise (settling for less than best), frustration and daily defeats while you try hard to explain, convince and work with mediocre colleagues, bosses, friends, relatives and acquaintances, stuck in teams and social situations full of average pedestrians. And in the case of really unlucky geniuses - stuck for life with mediocre partners.

There are only a lucky few geniuses who -

• possess the skills to beat the system which is stacked in favor of mediocrity and/or
• whose success is so great that the world simply can't ignore them and/or
• who manage to end up in places where they are surrounded by others of equal or greater evolution and/or
• whose work and interests don't need much social interaction and recognition.

Even these lucky people may not avoid the daily compromises, frustration and defeats.

There must be a large number of 85-to-95 percentile people, who go through life frustrated and less than happy, being forced to live and work with the vast, oppressing majority of 45-to-75 percentile people. And the 76-to-84 percentile people? They are the lucky 'slightly above average' types who have a high chance for success and popularity, happiness and contentment.

We'll never understand women!

From the Marketplace radio program on NPR, the episode dated July 31st, 2008 (emphasis mine):

Professors at Villanova University gathered a group of college-aged women together and showed them ads featuring thin models. Then, as thanks for participating, the women were offered a pack of Oreo cookies. The overwhelming majority said no to the cookies, but they did say they would buy the brands and products that the ads featured.

One researcher said the analysis went something like this: That thin models make women feel bad about themselves, but they like it, and that ads using normal-sized models didn't affect womens' body image, but they didn't like the brands and products that those ads featured either.

This is the reason why us normal men will never understand women. Something makes them feel bad about themselves. So, they like it? They're crazy, man!